Want to withdraw DS from preK - they will not refund money!?!

cmanmom · December 2011

So I'm having some major issues with DS and this preK teacher to the point of calling and asking about withdrawing him from the program. Seems it's their policy to not refund me the money. I paid in full last year and will lose out to the tune of THOUSANDS of dollars - and we're talking a 3 day a week for 3 hour thing. It's dang expensive and they say they won't refund my money.

Now I get it - that he took up a spot that they could have given to someone else yadda yadda but they are not holding up their end of the deal either with the way DS is being treated in school and it's been going on for months, I've talked to the teacher numerous times, volunteered in the room, talked to the other parent of the child I believe is bullying (in a 4 year old way) my son etc. and nothing has changed. It's gotten to the point of DS crying when I tell him it's a school day, not sleeping well, crying when I drop him off, crying while he's there etc. and he is so.not.a.crier. kind of kid.

Does this seem unfair or is the Mama bear in me losing it? Also, there's not another class that I can switch him into - there's only am and pm classes so that's not an option. I have to have the am program so I can drop him off on my way to work. I just want to take him out altogether and put him into a different preK program.

I've talked to the head of the school, and have a meeting with the head of the preschool next week. WWYD?

Angiesmommy · December 2011

wow. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I think if he's only gone a half year, you should be able to get half of it back. Regardless if you took up a spot or not, they should have a waiting list or something to refer to and get someone in there to take your spot and pay half the year cost. Ya know? I'd make a list of your efforts and take it with you to the meeting. Losing out on thousands of dollars after having put in all the effort and doing what you could on your end to change the problems is just wrong. They aren't holding up their side of the deal. PreK should be fun and a great experience for you and your DC, it's a shame that they are letting it go on and not doing more on their part.

chicsub · December 2011

I think it's normal to not get a refund. It sounds like you are doing all the right things and hopefully the meeting with the head of the preschool will result in some sort of solution.

I agree with Auntie though that this is life. I'm already seeing a pattern with my own DS attaching himself to the "naughty" boy in class. He's like the quiet sidekick that will probably be fetching beer one day if we don't watch it! It's hard to know when to intervene and when to just use it as a teaching opportunity. I did talk with the director of the program just yesterday and I think keeping an open dialogue is the best thing you can do. At first I was thinking of switching programs, but then realized that these kids are in almost every class and will be, so it's probably best to try to teach DS how to handle it now vs. running away from it since we have seen the pattern. Seriously, if there is a kid that is going wild in any class, my DS will always latch onto him and talk about him at home without fail.

Please update, I'd be curious to see what happens after the meeting!

Court0026 · December 2011

Unless it was specifically stated, I would be shocked to not get my money back if I took DS out of school. I even asked when I paid in full. The preschools where I live work much like daycare. They always have waiting lists and will fill the slots easily. Sorry you are going through a hard time. I have considered pulling my DS a few times just because I am dissatisfied with some things, but I always think it is worth it after I calm down.

UsedToBeGoldie · December 2011

whatever is in their contract that you signed when you put him in = what happens.. .if they are not following that, then there is an issue-b ut if they are, then you are out of luck.

Wally3 · December 2011

I have a slightly different view. I work on the other-side of things, and our contract says "no refunds" however exceptions are sometimes made. To give yourself the best chance. Make sure you eventually get to talk to the person who has the power to refund your money. Be nice to everybody if the staff feels bad for you they will plead your case in a positive light. Don't act crazy, scream and yell.

If you want to think about staying ask them for suggestions on how to help your ds and straggies to help him deal with the "bully". If there is an older or younger class ds can go into.

pandabearlover · December 2011

Our private preschool requires you to pay for the entire year. Lucky for us they offer insurance for $100 since we are moving in February.

the_jackpot · December 2011

I think that the bullying issue may be your best option. Part of their end of the deal is to provide a safe and nurturing environment for your child. If they cannot or are unwilling to make the environment safe then you should not be penalized. And while others are making light of the bullying factor, it really is a serious matter. As an educator, it is up to me to make sure that all students feel safe even when there are situations when I can't even understand why that student is putting up with the bullying. Be super nice but firm in you perception of how everything is being handled. Maybe they can help you with the making the other class work for your family.

chicsub · December 2011

I don't think people are making light of bullying. I guess I might have made the assumption that her school had policies about what was acceptable like all the ones around here though. That's why I wouldn't be concerned and just go ahead with talking with the director if these are violations that could get a kid removed from the program. I dealt with this with my son getting scratched and he was the target for one kid in April, but I worked with the teachers and either they handled it or the kid outgrew the phase (or got kicked out).

So I guess then my f/u question would be, what kind of bullying are we talking about? It's so hard to give advice without knowing exactly what is happening and what has been said to help your DS too, not just the "bully". Obviously it's very real in his mind either way if he is so upset, but that doesn't always equal a true bully.

KathrynMD · December 2011

what is the school doing to address the bullying? And, what exactly is happening to your LO?

anna7602 · December 2011

Did you sign a contract? I would look at the fine print in that. Our school contract says that if we give notice before Dec. 1st that we're withdrawing, we're not responsible for any tuition except for the last month of the year (June) that we paid in advance when we registered.

jlw2505 · December 2011

I am shocked you have to pay upfront for the whole year 1st off. I pay month to month and my DD"s preK requires a 1 month notice to pull your child out. Sounds to me like you are doing all the right things and I would follow through all the way to the top. Do you have proof of what you feel is going on in the classroom? What has the teacher said about it? How has the school addressed (or not addressed) the issue with this other kid?

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Want to withdraw DS from preK - they will not refund money!?!

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