Mothers of boys....(clicky poll inside)

TheBuddha · November 2011

At what age do you tell your son "Shut the door!! I don't want to see your boy parts anymore!!"??

[Poll]

GinandTonic · November 2011

Hmm... I didn't vote, because I'm not sure.

He's 6 and I still see his parts. I can see that stopping some time in the next year or so. That said, it may be more up to him and his need for privacy than my not wanting to see them...

EllaBelle2010 · November 2011

I didn't vote either, because I didn't really have to deal with this. My 9 year started closing the door on his own without me having to tell him. So I guess, I'm not sure when I would have.

neverblushed · November 2011

Hmmm... I didn't vote, because I'm not sure when that will happen. At 7, he's starting to want privacy when he changes clothes/goes to the bathroom. I'm fine with that. But we don't make a big deal about nudity in our family. It's not like we parade around naked, but if someone walks in on someone else, we don't freak out about it, either.

Also -- I would never say "I don't want to see your boy parts anymore." I would never want him to feel like there's something wrong, shameful, or offputting about HIS parts. I hope all his parts will always be perfectly acceptable to me! But if he wants to keep them private from me, it's his right to do so, as he matures.

TheBuddha · November 2011

Seriously?! Of the 3 votes, 2 of them want their sons to be comfortable naked in front of them FOREVER? That is a little disturbing to be honest.

There is a point where your son starts to become a young man and those parts should be private.

shouldbworkin · December 2011

GinandTonic:

Hmm... I didn't vote, because I'm not sure.

He's 6 and I still see his parts. I can see that stopping some time in the next year or so. That said, it may be more up to him and his need for privacy than my not wanting to see them...

Ditto. We haven't crossed that bridge yet.

tammy79 · December 2011

Also did not vote, I guess this will happen when DS wants it to change. As of now, he will only allow DH and I to do bath, and be around when he's changing, otherwise he ask for privacy. He's also starting to complained when going to the ladies room, so I think this might sooner than expected.

neverblushed · December 2011

TheBuddha:
Seriously?! Of the 3 votes, 2 of them want their sons to be comfortable naked in front of them FOREVER? That is a little disturbing to be honest.

There is a point where your son starts to become a young man and those parts should be private.

The point is that the desire for privacy should come from HIM, not me saying "get your gross junk outta my face!" It's the boy's call to make. I'm absolutely certain my son will exercise his right to privacy at an age that's appropriate. But I think that for a mom to convey the idea that her son's private parts are somehow gross, inappropriate, or offensive is just wrong.

How would you feel if a husband said something similar about an adolescent daughter's body?

L D · December 2011

I want my son to feel comfortable with his body. Having me tell him not to have the door open if he is still ok with it is sorta like saying he should hide it or be ashamed to be naked. Kids develop a sense of privacy on their own and he will start to shut the door then. My brother did around 8. L is only 6.5. He knows to keep himself covered around others but at home it's different.

TheBuddha · December 2011

neverblushed:
TheBuddha:

Seriously?! Of the 3 votes, 2 of them want their sons to be comfortable naked in front of them FOREVER? That is a little disturbing to be honest.

There is a point where your son starts to become a young man and those parts should be private.

The point is that the desire for privacy should come from HIM, not me saying "get your gross junk outta my face!" It's the boy's call to make. I'm absolutely certain my son will exercise his right to privacy at an age that's appropriate. But I think that for a mom to convey the idea that her son's private parts are somehow gross, inappropriate, or offensive is just wrong.

How would you feel if a husband said something similar about an adolescent daughter's body?

Ok, I am going to call you out because I did NOT say that.

The reason I worded it that way is because my younger brother, when he was like 15, went running from the bathroom to his bedroom naked and giggling. My mother was like "hey! Cover up with a towel! I don't want to see those parts anymore!!" She was NOT telling him his parts were offensive or gross, she was simply saying "you are a young man and those are your private parts please!!"

I have an 8 year old stepson who has no desire or understanding of privacy because his birth mother thinks he is still a baby. She bathes him and sits on the toilet while he showers and then rubs his entire body with oil when he is done. She then proceeds to sleep in the same bed as him. I am just curious when little boys in more "normal" family situations start to want to keep those parts private from their mothers, only because they are boys and their mothers are not (as much as some mothers want to insist it is THEIR baby and they changed their diapers and blah blah blah, there comes a point ladies).

I never said that a mother should convey her son's private parts are gross or offensive. Shame on you for making my question into a statement like that.

TheBuddha · December 2011

L
I want my son to feel comfortable with his body. Having me tell him not to have the door open if he is still ok with it is sorta like saying he should hide it or be ashamed to be naked. Kids develop a sense of privacy on their own and he will start to shut the door then. My brother did around 8. L is only 6.5. He knows to keep himself covered around others but at home it's different.

My question on that kind of is, what if he doesn't understand that other places he should be closing the door (not yours b/c you stated he does....but others?)? Does your son go to a friend's house to play and use the bathroom with the door open...because he doesn't care about privacy?

Using the bathroom is a private time (IMO) and to be honest, I don't want to watch my son pee. Plus, his little brother likes to wander in and stick his fingers in the toilet...and THAT is gross!!!

rsd12 · December 2011

having three boys close in age, they are starting to ask for privacy in the bathroom. especially not at home, they close the door and then ask for help. i believe preschool is helping with this too as wll as kindergarten. my oldest wants to shower by himself too. and does not want his younger brothers seeing him. but that does not stop him from streaking through the house naked. man i am in trouble. the youngest 2 checks everything out, but he in potty training mode so it is not horrible for him to see what is going on and he use to try to grab his brothers by the private parts too... i think helped them learn what privacy is real quick. my oldest is only 5. i have no doubt in a couple of more years he wont want me to see anything.

Kated1023 · December 2011

GinandTonic:
Hmm... I didn't vote, because I'm not sure.

He's 6 and I still see his parts. I can see that stopping some time in the next year or so. That said, it may be more up to him and his need for privacy than my not wanting to see them...

I'll have to go with this bumpy too.

Kahosity · December 2011

My son is 10. I started telling him to shut the door a few years ago. He's got a little sister that doesn't need to see "his junk" lol.. But if I feel that I need to help him with something I am not ashamed or afraid to get it done. For some reason he thinks putting the shampoo on one spot of his head and rubbing it in to that spot only constitutes washing his hair.. *shakes head*

As far as how old he will be before it makes me uncomfy.. that's iffy.. who knows..? Not teenage for sure.. by then if he's not washing his hair on his own then I dunno what the hell to do..

Ransomville · December 2011

My boys are 2 and 1 so we haven't crossed that bridge yet, BUT...

Our 9 year old nephew comes over and will not only leave the door open when he goes, but will go with other people (including my 7 y/o daughter) in the bathroom with him! I do not appreciate this. I think it is one thing to instill in your child that what they have is great, but make sure they understand that it is theirs and theirs alone and other people do not need to, or likely want to, see it.

MyaMaternity · January 2012

I wouldn't say anything. Most boys will make a change on their own so it doesn't need to be discussed.

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