DH and I are both 29 and expecting our first baby. We've been married almost 7 years and together for 15 (high school sweethearts). In the military community, we're practically the last of our friends to have a baby. In our civilian circles (high school, college, my professional life), we're the first and considered on the young side.
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I agree with those that say wait a few years. Are you in college? Go to college. Even if it's just for an associates. Travel. Sleep late. Save money.
I am 35 and dh is 33 - I would have wanted it to be sooner but we didn't marry until I was almost 31. I am not saying wait until you are 30, but 19 is really,really, young to be a mom.
b/w=FSH 15.6, AMH 0.4 surprise natural BFP on 3/12/11 DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
We were both 27. I was 28 when he was born. We had been married over four years and finally felt like we had a good foundation to raise a child. We had went through the first year of newlyweds and figuring out how not to argue so much, we became financially stable, and had college out of the way. We wanted more for our future child than our parents had given us. We wanted a healthy marriage with parents who don't yell at each other all the time, we also very much wanted to pay for college for our child, and to know and agree on how to raise them. I am so grateful we waited because it has cut out a lot of stress and made having our little family an amazing experience.
My DH and I got married at 19. We found out right around our 1st anniversary that we were expecting. Was a bit of a surprise for us but definitely excited. It was definitely good to have a year with just the two of us.
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I was 19 when I got pregnant with DS. DH and I were married for 4 months then we found out DS was on the way, it's been fun but there have been alot of hard parts too.
In the military it seems like it is a race to have babies, everyone has one, there are pregnant people everywhere, it is oftentimes hard to have a career so they think "why not"
I agree with you completely on this! I joined the Air Force when I was 24, a little later than most, and I was also single. I swear I was viewed as a leper for not only being that "old", but also single and without at least one child. Heaven forbid! I think the big thing is that with all the moving around and deploying, a lot of people feel the need to pop out a kid immediately for that feeling of stability.
DH and I are both AD and met at work. I am almost 27 and he is 24. We have been married for almost two years, and we knew we wanted to wait at least a year before we had a baby just to ensure that we got to enjoy each other first. And experience the whole being married part, which is complicated enough without throwing in another little person!
I'm 19, 20 in December. DH is 21. We've been together almost 5 years. I appreciate everyones advice and I would like to wait a year or two before we start having kids, but I don't know if the issues I had when I started my period have corrected themselves and don't wanna wait those 4 years in order to find out that its gonna take that long for us to get pregnant. Thank you to all of you who shared. I'm sure you'll hear more from me in the future.
Honey, please wait until you're older and have more life experience. Get an education. Enjoy being with your husband. Really! You have no idea what you're in for.
I got pregnant at 19 (almost 20). DH and I had been married almost 2 years. We are pregnant with baby #2 and I'll be 22 in a couple weeks. Both pregnancies were totally planned. I do not think I'm too young at all. I had every idea of what I was in for, I'm an adult and my husband and I have never looked back!
Do what feels best to YOU and YOUR husband! You'll know when it's right.
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I was 22 (when I got pregnant 23 when she was born) DH was 24 (and 25 lol). We went off b.c. when we got engaged and it was 2.5 years later before we got pregnant (with 6 months to a year of seriously "trying"). Good luck!
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I was really young.. lol 18 when i got pregnant 19 when the baby came.. I was always the same way with wanting a family early.. i graduated high school, got married moved states and got pregnant in the same year! it was crazy but lots of fun
I was 22, he was 24. It was the right time for us, mentally, budget wise, emotionally, etc.
I don't necessarily agree about waiting until after a deployment - no matter what it's going to be a challenge and I found the first deployment easier with my son than our previous seperations for training without him - I had the distraction and we had each other on those hard days.
Good luck!!
~*~ Nikki ~*~
DS born 2/18/08!
TTC #2 since 01/2009
11/01 Round #5 Clomid 100 mg, IUI 11/14, at 10dpiui
11/26 Beta:12dpiui 114
11/29 Beta:15dpiui 755
1/9/10 First U/S: TRIPLETS!
6/20/11 And then there were six...
http://andbabiesmakesix.wordpress.com/
My husband and I are PCSing at the beginning of October and we're thinking about stopping using contraception once we move.
We are both young but have both wanted to start a family at a young age. We probably won't start "trying" but more letting things run their course and what happens happens.
So my question is what age were you when you got pregnant for the first time?
Ahaha, I got pregnant the first night we were in the same place (he was TDY for training for three months at that point) after we made the decision to let what happens happen.
Honey, please wait until you're older and have more life experience. Get an education. Enjoy being with your husband. Really! You have no idea what you're in for.
In her defense, I don't know if any without kids knows what they're in for once the kids show up.
You guys have to do what you think is best for the two of you, not what strangers on the internet say is best for you.
BUUUUUTTTTT make sure you are totally happy with the amount of life experience you have. Had I not already done so much awesome stuff, we would have not tried when we did. Had I not had a realistic plan for finishing school, we would have not tried when we did. Had we not been 100% that we were in a good position financially (including savings, retirement, and the ability to save for the soon-to-arrive kid to go to college), we would have not tried when we did. It was also important to us that husband be "home" (aka not deployed even though he's still soooo TDY almost constantly) so he would be able to (hopefully) have a part in the first year of the baby's life.
You BOTH need to think about your priorities in life (long term and short term), talk to each other VERY OPENLY about your individual priorities, and make sure you will both be happy with this decision and how it works with your relationship goals and priorities (long term and short term).
We just found out Im 4 weeks pregnant Im 20 he's 25, We've been married for a year and were happy as well... Do whats right for you regardless of what other people say
I can totally relate to what you're saying. I always had irregular AFs, even going 6 months without as a teenager. I had been on BCPs all through my teen years and only went off of them a couple of months after we got married. My first cycle, AF didn't come until I had to induce it with Provera 5 months later! I've since been TTC for about 10 months and it's frustrating. Sometimes I question if it's the right time. Maybe there's a reason that we can't get pregnant right now.
Ramblings aside.... I worried that something would be wrong with me and figured the only way to test that I guess would be to get pregnant. I then had to sit myself down and realize that a baby is forever and that if my husband and I weren't ready, we really needed to wait despite my fears of having fertility issues.
All in all... you've only been married for a little while, you're young... there's plenty of time for kids so please don't let outside worries influence your decision. I meet way too many Army wives who got pregnant either before they got married or right after, only to have the stress of a baby and no time to really live and learn the military life together as a couple, ended up splitting or worse, together but unhappy.
PCOS--TTC since 11/2010:
5 cycles of Clomid: all BFN, 1 cycle of Follistim:CP
1 year break thanks to deployment.
1 cycle Follistim: BFN, Lap to remove peritubal cyst May 2013
2 cycles Follistim + trigger: BFN, Gonal F +IUI April 2014: BFP!!!!!!
I am currently pregant with babyh one and am 24 and DH is 24, We wanted to wait till I finnished college bc education is very important to me. Alot of my friends had children and didnt finnish school and am now struggling to do homework while husband is gone and a two year old is running around lol... Glad I waited, but honestly I am still young and couldnt be more thankful. There are so many more advantages of having babies young. Good luck to you.
Re: How old were you??
Not really sure what "young" means to you.
DH and I are both 29 and expecting our first baby. We've been married almost 7 years and together for 15 (high school sweethearts). In the military community, we're practically the last of our friends to have a baby. In our civilian circles (high school, college, my professional life), we're the first and considered on the young side.
19 is wayyyyy too young, IMO.
I agree with those that say wait a few years. Are you in college? Go to college. Even if it's just for an associates. Travel. Sleep late. Save money.
I am 35 and dh is 33 - I would have wanted it to be sooner but we didn't marry until I was almost 31. I am not saying wait until you are 30, but 19 is really,really, young to be a mom.
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
We were both 27. I was 28 when he was born. We had been married over four years and finally felt like we had a good foundation to raise a child. We had went through the first year of newlyweds and figuring out how not to argue so much, we became financially stable, and had college out of the way. We wanted more for our future child than our parents had given us. We wanted a healthy marriage with parents who don't yell at each other all the time, we also very much wanted to pay for college for our child, and to know and agree on how to raise them. I am so grateful we waited because it has cut out a lot of stress and made having our little family an amazing experience.
Make a pregnancy ticker
I agree with you completely on this! I joined the Air Force when I was 24, a little later than most, and I was also single. I swear I was viewed as a leper for not only being that "old", but also single and without at least one child. Heaven forbid! I think the big thing is that with all the moving around and deploying, a lot of people feel the need to pop out a kid immediately for that feeling of stability.
DH and I are both AD and met at work. I am almost 27 and he is 24. We have been married for almost two years, and we knew we wanted to wait at least a year before we had a baby just to ensure that we got to enjoy each other first. And experience the whole being married part, which is complicated enough without throwing in another little person!
Honey, please wait until you're older and have more life experience. Get an education. Enjoy being with your husband. Really! You have no idea what you're in for.
I was 22, he was 24. It was the right time for us, mentally, budget wise, emotionally, etc.
I don't necessarily agree about waiting until after a deployment - no matter what it's going to be a challenge and I found the first deployment easier with my son than our previous seperations for training without him - I had the distraction and we had each other on those hard days.
Good luck!!
Ahaha, I got pregnant the first night we were in the same place (he was TDY for training for three months at that point) after we made the decision to let what happens happen.
I was 23 and he's 31.
In her defense, I don't know if any without kids knows what they're in for once the kids show up.
You guys have to do what you think is best for the two of you, not what strangers on the internet say is best for you.
BUUUUUTTTTT make sure you are totally happy with the amount of life experience you have. Had I not already done so much awesome stuff, we would have not tried when we did. Had I not had a realistic plan for finishing school, we would have not tried when we did. Had we not been 100% that we were in a good position financially (including savings, retirement, and the ability to save for the soon-to-arrive kid to go to college), we would have not tried when we did. It was also important to us that husband be "home" (aka not deployed even though he's still soooo TDY almost constantly) so he would be able to (hopefully) have a part in the first year of the baby's life.
You BOTH need to think about your priorities in life (long term and short term), talk to each other VERY OPENLY about your individual priorities, and make sure you will both be happy with this decision and how it works with your relationship goals and priorities (long term and short term).
Ramblings aside.... I worried that something would be wrong with me and figured the only way to test that I guess would be to get pregnant. I then had to sit myself down and realize that a baby is forever and that if my husband and I weren't ready, we really needed to wait despite my fears of having fertility issues.
All in all... you've only been married for a little while, you're young... there's plenty of time for kids so please don't let outside worries influence your decision. I meet way too many Army wives who got pregnant either before they got married or right after, only to have the stress of a baby and no time to really live and learn the military life together as a couple, ended up splitting or worse, together but unhappy.
I'm 18...
BF is 20.