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Hubby deployed

lakencmommylakencmommy
in Military Families
My husband is a United States Marine currently deployed in Afghanistan :( he first got deployed when i was 6 months pregnant, and he was able to be at the hospital the day our daughter was born. He surprised me and showed up at the hospital a few hours after she was born. that's probably the best surprise in the world, i was very upset that i didn't think he was going to be there. this leaves me a single mother home alone with my 6 month old daughter. Its starting to get more and more lonely. I miss him oh so much. I used to get to talk to him all the time pretty much daily, but he has been very busy lately which means i don't get to talk to him as much as i have came a custom to. 
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Re: Hubby deployed

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    Joie80Joie80 member
    I'm sorry. MH is a Marine as well and he's currently deployed. He will not be able to make it back for the birth and it sucks, but I've pretty much come to grips with it at this point. I still get very sad about it,but I realized that being sad isn't going to change a thing. Some days are better than others, but for the most part, I'm trying to be a trooper. Just try to keep busy and count down the rest of the time until he gets back. I'm sure your LO keeps you plenty busy. Are there any mommy groups you could join? I'm sure there are other women in your same situation not far from you. I know it can be hard, but try to make the best of your situation. Take it one day at a time. If you just keep going to bed and waking up, eventually he'll be back. In the meantime, try to find something to keep you busy and positive.
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    julesjarvais65julesjarvais65 member

    Idk if you have a way to get a hold of them or if you are already friends with some, but before my husband's unit deployed, all of us wives set up a support group on FB. In fact there is one for the whole unit and another one for just his company. The one for the unit includes other wives, fiances, and gfs. The one for his company is for all family members. My husband ended up in an accident during training and didn't deploy, but the wives have regular outtings together, playdates with their kids, and do a party every month as a so many month down, so many to go party.

    I know that if my husband was gone, this would be a TREMENDOUS help for me. My friends (other wives) are 100% there for me with my husband being here, so I know it'd be the same if he wasn't here.

    Maybe you can do something similar. Maybe not on such a large scale (each of the groups have 100+ people), but setting playdates and just time for you to get together with other people going through the same thing. Also, I know they often babysit and such for each other so that if they need some alone time they can get it.

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    kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    You're not a single mother, and if I were your H, that would hurt me to hear. In the end, even though it's rough, you've still got a husband who loves you and a father who loves your child that you don't have to hound for child support, go to court with, etc. 
    I've seen a lot of military surprise homecomings. It wouldn't work on me. I always have my back to the corner and my face to the door. Looking for terrorists, criminals, various other threats, and husbands.
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    29PalmsMarine29PalmsMarine
    My Hubby is a Marine as well and also deployed to Afghan, we found out we are expecting 3 days after he left. Thankfully it looks like he'll be home in time  for the birth but I know how lonely you feel and how awefull it is when you get to talk all the time then nothing FOREVER. same thing happened here, we got to talk every couple of days then all the sudden nothing for weeks. it sucks no matter how accustom you get to it. If you ever wanna vent feel free I'd be happy for the company. Stay strong girl they'll be home soon.
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    iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member

    imageWishIcouldbeinthe'stan:
    You're not a single mother, and if I were your H, that would hurt me to hear. In the end, even though it's rough, you've still got a husband who loves you and a father who loves your child that you don't have to hound for child support, go to court with, etc. 

    This.  It honestly bugs me when people assume having my husband deployed is equal to me being a single mom.  I've been a single mom before and it sucks far more knowing that I am completely on my own and have no one to support me. Your H is still involved in your lives, he's just far away.  Do you have to woman up and take care of everything at home on your own? Yep.  It sucks, but it's what we do. 

    My best advice is to build a support system around you.  Make friends with ladies who have kids the same age as yours and older than yours.  My friends are my life line.  We lean on each other.  We vent to each other.  We help clean others houses.  We play Dance Central until late at night. 

    You can do this.  Ask for help when you need it.  Don't feel sorry for your self.  Mope around here and there, but don't wallow in it.  Pick your self up and drive on.  Your H is missing you.  He's missing watching his baby grow.  When I say he's in a world of crap, I mean he reall is surrounded by crap.  It's on the walls of houses.  It's on the street corners.  The whole place smells like crap and dirty butt.  He needs to know that you've got this at home.  Be strong.  If you don't think you are, fake it till you make it. 

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