- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Austin Babies
adult ADD? I need help
I can't focus. And I can't do just one thing at a time or I feel like I'm failing at life or something.
So, is it possible to get ADD this late in life? What can I do? The doctor I call my family doctor sucksmajorass and doesn't really like to listen to his patients (I had to strongarm him into taking a thyroid test a few years ago and he biitched and moaned about it the entire time), plus I don't really like taking meds, so is there something else I can do to help me focus or stay on task or complete projects?
For instance, when Jay and I are watching a tv show, I'm thinking about my phone that just made a noise like I got a text/email and then I check it. Then, when a commercial comes on, I open a book and read it. I'll play WWF during movies at home. If someone is talking to me, I just feel like I wish I could be doing something while they're talking, like cleaning or whatever. When I drive, I am always listening to an audio book (when it's just me in the car). I never really give anything my full attention anymore. It seems like it's just been since earlier this year, but I would really like to be more "in the moment" but I have no idea how. When I'm with the boys, I feel bored. Even if they seem to be having the time of their lives, I feel like because I'm just focusing on them, that *I* am not doing anything and thus, I'm not multi-tasking and then I feel like I'm failing. Then there's the whole guilt trip I give myself for feeling bored with my poor children, but that's a whole other story. I get a good deal of "me" time, so I shouldn't be all over the place like I am, but I just am.
Thoughts? Help? Tips?
I do make lists of things to accomplish and I usually can do them within a set timeframe, but I sure would like to be more ambitious. My head is in a fog and I don't know what to do.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: adult ADD? I need help
Try unplugging for a certain amount of time. I have had to do it more than once, and it makes a huge difference every time. Then when I start trying to do multiple things, I remind myself of the self-imposed discipline if I don't maintain self-control.
No internet, no tv (I watch some w DH at night when he's winding down, but that's all), no cell phone. Do you have a home phone? Craft. Clean. Play with your kids without worrying about your electronics.
Unplugging really reminds you to be in the moment and enjoy your family. It's hard, but so worth it.
While I am certain that I've never had ADD, I do feel more "scattered" in the last year or so and I blame my use of technology. I think I've gotten used to doing like 80 things at once and the more I use technology, the more crazy I feel. Can't just sit in the drs waiting room and read or look around--must check the email that I just checked 2 min ago, text messages, facebook, whatever. I do the same thing while watching TV at night with DH--commercial breaks I pick up the phone to check whatever.
I find that when I take a technology break, my mind slows down. Like I'll put my phone on the charger and walk away for 5 or 6 hours (only going to it if it rings) or I'll make a day a "no computer" day. It really does help me.
ADD is a psychological diagnosis that I don't think you have. My husband has ADD and his symptoms go beyond just feeling a need to be busy.
I think what you have is a problem with overstimulation. I am the same way. I don't sit and relax. I like to multitask and get things done. Unplugging is very hard for me to do. I usually have to be completely removed from those things (like on vacation away from my house) to actually start to unwind.
I think FCB made some good suggestions. You might benefit from trying to figure out why you feel you need to be doing something all the time. You mention that if you're "not multitasking than I feel like I'm failing." That may have to do with some other psychological issues that talking to a therapist can help with.
I think your need to be busy is common, especially among women. You've also mentioned that you're not 100% satisfied with being a SAHM. I often miss the rush of my corporate life. I miss the deadlines, the pressure, the projects, the travel.
Yeah, I guess ADD is too strong a term. I don't think I have psychological problems, I just don't feel like I'm present for the things that are going on in my life and I want to take part.
Thanks, I think I will try to integrate an unplugging time once or twice a week and then work up. Great idea.
I think the pp are right because a lot of what you're doing sounds like me. I cannot not check my email in the car every time I hit a red light (and even while I'm driving... I know...BAD). Same thing at home. Even if I'm totally invested in a movie or TV show... I HAVE to be on my phone/iPad at the same time. email/FB/tweeting/nest/FF/whatever. I have it no more than 2 feet away from me at all times in social functions. I'll text while having a spoken conversation (RUDE). I can blame it partially on work and needing to be a million places at once, but it's also that antsy, itchy feeling that I'm missing something that I need to know NOW.
Which is why my christmas list includes an unplugged getaway for DH and I to reconnect...
BFP 12.20.2010 :: missed m/c 1/2011 around 8 weeks
BFP @ 9dpo 5.24.2011 :: missed m/c 6/2011 around 7 weeks
positive for ANAs (1:40) with a speckled pattern
MTHFR c677t mutation (heterozygous)
*folic acid, baby asprin, Prometrium, acupuncture, Lovenox*
BFP @ 9dpo 2.1.2012 || HCG = 8 : Progesterone = 19.2
2nd HCG @ 11dpo = 40 || 3rd HCG @ 21dpo = over 5000!
Stick, little one, stick! EDD October 15, 2012
I also wanted to commiserate. It seems like it's happened just in the last few months for me, but that's also when E was born, so everything has changed.
I noticed this weekend (while at my IL's lake cabin which is unplugged - no tv, barely any cell reception, no internet, etc) that while I was reading a book in the living room, I could NOT concentrate on the words because they had a radio going fairly loudly and were talking all around me. I used to be able to tune that stuff out with no problem, but now my brain seems to be fractured into each of these things that are going on, so it's trying to sing along with the music, listen and reply to the conversation, and still read the book all at the same time. It made me feel completely anxious and jittery to the point where I just went into a quiet room to get away from all the distractions so I could read in peace.
Ditto. Combine that with the fast-paced technology lifestyle most of us are used to and you don't feel "normal" unless 15 things are going on.
I try to unplug and relax every once in a while and it helps. At least for a little while until I have to go check my email or whatever.
I agree with all of the previous posters. Technology is insanely addictive and really alters our thoughts, concentration, etc. I'm the same way in that I constantly have to have my phone right by me to be connected to everything. I do a lot of what FCB said and force myself to unplug. When I'm with my DH we put our phones away (except if football is on for FF) and when we are with family and freinds we will leave our phones in the car. It forces us to be in the moment with the people we are with and creates for a richer relationship with those people.
I'm also wondering if you might be in need for something more fulfilling. I'm my no means saying that your kids/family/hobbies are not fulfilling but maybe you need something new that is more mentally, physically, or emotionally fulfilling to you. Maybe starting a new hobby, or volunteering on a regular basis for something that only you do? I know that when I am not totally emotionally or mentally fulfilled I get more scattered and have a harder time focusing on the present. Just a thought.
This thread totally resonates for me too.
I complained about feeling this way a few weeks ago to my sister and she said "Unplug." Pinterest really put me over the edge. Must craft, must bake, must pair taupe homemade leggings with gold bangles....
My problem/excuse is that I'm "trapped" bf-ing much of the day, so I just crack out online. Scaling back really helped me feel less frantic.
As for feeling bored with your kids, that strikes me as a personality thing. I get bored as shiit when I'm alone with the kids all day. It's just not my bag. I'm very eager to work full time once baby is 1.