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2nd Trimester
Has anyone else noticed that all the gender dissapointment is with boys?
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Re: Has anyone else noticed that all the gender dissapointment is with boys?
We are having a girl but I would have been equally happy with a boy. I am so excited about having a girl but it's not just because of the cute pink clothes. My mom and I have a very close relationship and I know other women who have an equally close relationship with their mothers. I am really excited to have that with my daughter. I would like my next baby to be a boy because I think it would be good to have one of each.
My sister in law doesn't want any girls at all. She has two little boys.
With me, I already had a boy and wanted a girl - Its not working out that way. Plus, there are no girls on my husband's side of the family (and only 1 on my side who is now 20) and I knew that both sides would be a bit disappointed.
Having said that, you get over it quick. My little guy is amazing and I would be blessed to have another just like him but this is my last pregnancy and it would have been great to have one of each.
People shouldn't judge other people because they are a bit disappionted. It doesn't mean they don't love the baby inside them, they are just being honest about their feelings and that should be o.k.
-Karri
See this reasoning makes NO SENSE to me. You could have a daughter who is not interested in prom/dresses or chooses to never be married. Likewise you could have a son who is not into sports, but likes the arts/music. I don't understand why people want one sex just to relive thier lives through them. Accept what you have and be open to the people your children become.
I am beyond sorry for your loss, and its a good lesson to be excited every minute you have with your child and be thankful for every kick, smile cry or anything in between regardless of the sex.
I think this whole conversation is pointless. Yes, she could have a daughter not into that stuff, but it's a vision she has for her future. We all have visions for our future. This whole post just feeds off a ridiculous notion that you shouldn't be picturing your future child/children of any gender. And we all do it.
Pregnancy Week by Week stuff.
I disagree. Having hope that your child will grow to be an honest and kind person is one thing-that is what I hope for my 2 boys. But I don't hope they'll be doctors, professional sports players or teachers. I look foward to seeing who THEY CHOOSE to become as they grow.
Hoping your child is into the same things you want is not realistic. How many kids purposely rebel againest their parents. People should just accept what they are given. I have and enjoy watching my son become his own person.
Me (32) DH (30)
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Baby Evangeline is here!
This is me exactly. My mom and sister are my best friends - we call each other daily and we always want to be near each other. We fight, we have our moments but I feel very blessed to have these relationships in my life. I wanted a mother-daughter relationship with my own children and I also wanted my children to have a sister relationship too. I'm having a boy and it took a little time to adjust, no question about that. Now that I've had some space to realign my dreams with reality I'm getting pretty pumped about having a little man in the house!
I believe that it?s part of the whole Mother-Daughter bond that makes many of us want a baby girl. I?m pregnant with my first baby in March and it?s a boy. I?m not gonna lie, I was slightly disappointed at first but I?m still very excited and blessed. I also think it?s because two of my very best friends just had girls. In my opinion, girl?s clothes and decorations are far cuter than boys. I plan on having more than one child so there?s hope that the next one will be a girl. Bottom line, you should always feel blessed with what God gives you. It?s the way it?s meant to be.
This. While I would love to have one of each, and know what it's like having a girl... having another boy would make me just as happy.
I agree. I don't hope my child will become this, that, or whatever. I hope they find something they find enjoyment out of. Heck, my son right now walks around with a hairband on his head 90% of the time. He likes it and thinks it's funny. But he likes it, so I'm not going to stop him because it's not what I HOPED for him to be doing at 18 months old.... And when he's 16 if he is into band instead of football...so be it. Regardless, I'll still be proud to call him my son.
Also, the whole mother-daughter bond. I don't get that. I never had that bond with my mother until I left for college. We are the exact same person, and we butt heads a lot if we are in the same house for more than a few days. And that's what I'm afraid of with a girl. With my DS, he is a true momma's boy. He loves his daddy, but when he gets hurt or wants to cuddle... he comes to me. When he wants to lay down and have a babble conversation... he comes to me. He is the light of my life.
Now if #2 is a girl--I will be just as happy. I love her just as much as I love DS. And if it's another boy--then I will love him just as much and I'll be just as happy.
I mean how would you feel if you found out your parents weren't what they had hoped for? Kinda sad to think about....
Reading comprehension fail? Because I didn't say anything about professions or the people they choose to become. I said that if she wanted a girl because she wanted to have the opportunity for prom dresses and wedding planning...I see nothing wrong with that. You jumped from A to Z.
Pregnancy Week by Week stuff.
This exactly.
I really wanted a girl because I wanted that mother-daughter bond that I have with my mom. I had a boy, and wow he is amazing. But for a lot of people (me included), this is one of the first times you realize that the whole parenting thing is NOT ABOUT YOU. It is about the kid, 4 billion percent. So it doesn't really matter what you want or dream about doing with your child. They come to the world with their own personalities, interests, etc., regardless of sex. So you are best to realize that early on and then enjoy watching them become who they are, not who you dreamed they might be.
Yes but the point is she wants a girl FOR HER -so she can do what SHE envisioned her daughter would want to do in the future. My point is there is no reason to prefer one sex over the other. Just look at the loss/mc board to see that having ANY child-so long as it is happy and healthy- is what one should stride for; not specific expierences that you dream about.
I nearly lost my son at birth. Not once did I think about the sex of my baby. Just that he survived.
Yes but the point is she wants a girl FOR HER -so she can do what SHE envisioned her daughter would want to do in the future. My point is there is no reason to prefer one sex over the other. Just look at the loss/mc board to see that having ANY child-so long as it is happy and healthy- is what one should stride for; not specific expierences that you dream about.
I nearly lost my son at birth. Not once did I think about the sex of my baby. Just that he survived.
I'm sorry but I just don't get you. You already have a son; do you really think you are missing out by not raising a daughter. I hope your son(s) never hear that. My husband (very long story) has not spoken to his parents in over 6 years. Growing up he was one of 3 boys; the day I met his mother she actually told me that she would not have had my dh (her 3rd son) if she had known he was a boy. That sticks with him; and I will NEVER let my boys feel that way. I hope you don't either.
But what you originally disagreed with me about had really nothing to do with any of that. I said the WHOLE THING was ridiculous. I think it's just a pointless conversation. I don't see a reason for judging someone because they currently prefer a gender. It doesn't mean she is going to carry that with her for the rest of her life. I think that judging the way someone FEELS when it has absolutely nothing to do with you or anyone else...it's pointless. Who cares how she feels. I know 3 people IRL who have 3 boys. ALL of them wanted their last baby to be a girl. And all three of them got over it when they found out they were having a boy.
I find that conversations like this only happen on message boards, and they are things you would never say to an IRL friend, or even an online friend through their blog or twitter. I think the judgement of something this trivial is pointless.
Pregnancy Week by Week stuff.
I guess I also said that I thought it was human nature, and I still stand by that. And I said I didnt see the big deal...and I still stand by that.
But it's a pointless conversation none the less.
Pregnancy Week by Week stuff.
First off you are OVER reacting!!! Im currently preggo with number 3 and 4 so obviously you dont get me cause you thought i just had one son... Yes i'm going to tell my children Everyday that all i wanted was girls!! NOT!!! ok first off i have ALWAYS said i wanted BOYS!!!! i just said i would like to have ONE girl.. will i be pissed and HATE my twins if they are both boys!!! um NO cause i'm a GOOD mom and LOVE all my children no matter the sex.. i just want them to be healthy.. there was a question asked and i answered that i would LOVE a girl but NEVER said i would be disappointed if all i had was boys.. SO once again YOU DONT GET ME!!!! sorry to hear your mil says that to your son but it doesnt mean i would EVER say that to my boys!! i LOVE my boys!!!!!
My DHs cousin the same way. The third boy, and his mom still (he is 20) is VERY vocal about her lamentations for never having a girl and how he was SUPPOSED to be HER girl. Suprise, suprise, this kid has some huge self-esteem issues.
I feel the same way....My intuition tells me I'm having a boy. It doesn't matter to me either way since this is my first...
I want a boy; I always have. NEVER wanted a girl...I'm not sure why. I think it's because I'm terrified she's going to be a huge brat when she hits her teens and I won't wanna deal with her....
I also don't want a girl because this baby is going to be a Taurus and MY MOTHER is a Taurus....and I can't stand the woman. Never could. lol
Also, I'd love a miniature version of my husband running around...he's just the bee's knees. hehe
The biggest reason I want a boy though, is I would like to name him (middle name, anyway) after my father who passed away. And my father's name, Leo, is not something that would lend well to a girl. So that kind of ends that right there.
You did however state you had a preference to carry at least one girl, which implies you would be disappointed with 2 more boys. Also my mil said this about my dh-not my son-as she does not know him. I never said you would hate your boys; just that it is pointless to have a preference as A) you have no control in what you are having, and b) having 1 sex does NOT guarantee they will live up to the reasons you wanted them in the first place.
As for your "wanting to parent a different sex"- how different do you think that will be? Won't you still be trying to teach them to be good people; rather than meet stereotypical behaviors of their sex?
Oh and your right, I don't get you or anyone who is disappointed or hoping for a particular sex.
Oh for chrissake. You are so argumentative and judgey for no reason. Who the hell cares that she would want to have the experience of having a little girl after having boys? She is obviously a good mom who loves her kids and would of course teach them to be good people first and foremost if her twins were to both be boys or girls or whatever because that's what a good parent does.
I think you really need to stop projecting the feelings you have towards your MIL on to this poster. (And she's right...you are seriously overreacting.)
This is a message board, where people DO post their opinions/views. Perhaps you should go to babygaga so that EVERY post is puppies/rainbows and you can appreciate everyone having the same opinion and "supporting" eachother for rediculous things.
OMG you are officially the first person in all my time on the Bump who has suggested that I need to go to BabyGaga. How fun.
Trust me...I'm not all puppies and rainbows. But I will defend someone when I think they are getting crapped on for no reason.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ::catches breath:: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh, phew. I need a laugh like that today.
Back to TTGP, where I belong!
Buahahahahahahahah!! That's just about THE funniest thing I've read, ever.
Just because someone's not agreeing with your point of view, doesn't mean their opinion is laden with "puppies and rainbows." People get insane with these discussions. You're taking some things here waaaaaaay too seriously.
And it's "ridiculous." You're welcome.
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7DPO Progesterone: low. CD3 BW: normal, HSG: clear
DX: severe MFI (low all 3) and low T. Undergoing replacement therapy.
Hey! I didn't say that!
You are right! I had issues with cutting down the text.
Ahhh, such hilariousness.
LMAO ... speaking of RI-diculous ...
Salt =/= P&R.
lol, wuuuuut?