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rayofsunshine99
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Home Birth - your thoughts
rayofsunshine99
member
After reading the post on Sister Wives here I had to go home and watch the season finale On Demand. I agree, it was very moving!
It got me thinking though and I am curious what people's thoughts are on home births?
4 years ago when I was pregnant with my son I remember filling out an "about your pregnancy" survey and it asked if I planned to give birth in a hospital. I laughed out loud at the idea of giving birth anywhere but a hospital. Since then however I've learned a great deal about the over-use of medical interventions in hospitals in regards to giving birth and I've learned of several successful home births and realized it's a lot more possible (and less complicated) than I thought. Now, that doesn't mean I'd have the guts to do it, I'd probably be too worried about what if something went wrong, but the experience does look amazing.
What are your thoughts?
Mommy to
Tyler (10/29/08)
and Lily (4/21/13)
Tyler (10/29/08)
and Lily (4/21/13)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Home Birth - your thoughts
TTC since 2010
lots of IUIs and 1 IVF all BFNs
FET currently on hold
It isn't worth the risk. Yes most people have very normal healthy births, but what if something did go wrong in labor and you are 30 min from the hospital and another 30 min from an emergency c-section? It is totally possible to have a natural birth experience in a hospital, but still have backup nearby if there is trouble. Is it worth risking a brain damaged or dead baby after 10 months of waiting? I don't think so. I would recommend finding a midwife that does natural births in a hospital setting, that way you get the experience you want with a little bit of insurance.
And sister wives had me in tears, DH though I was crazy.
BFP#1 10 wk missed mc
BFP#2 DS born at 40+2 on 8/14/12 BFP#3 DD Born at 39+3 on 5/13/14
I saw that SW and 19 Kids and Counting aired a homebirth episode too. I definitely think it's beautiful and there's something about being home with family.
But I couldn't. I'm far too squeamish for that- I want someone to be able to take away all the messy stuff and get all of us cleaned up ASAP. Plus, I'm too paranoid. And then I watched this gem:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXuwy8dXTGA
And I was absolutely positive that home birth just isn't for me. Did I say I was squeamish? haha I'd much rather have a nurse cleaning stuff and baby up!
Falling in Love! November 2014
For me personally, I would never have a baby anywhere other than a hospital. For other people I am sure that it works out fine and I actually know a girl pretty well that had her last baby at home in her living room and it went perfect.
I would be too worried that if something were to go wrong that myself or my baby would not be unable to get to the hospital in time. An ambulance can not always be there quickly and I would never forgive myself if something bad happened. The hospital I will go to has a NICU and they are a fantastic group of doctors.
ETA: My hospital is also 35 minutes away.
DS 6.12.11
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My Lack of Ovulation Chart
Nope, not for me. I had some complications near the end of my first pregnancy which resulted in DD being born early at 36 weeks. Now I know that my case was rare (and not likely to happen again) but it is the only experience I have. I plan to stick with my OB and her awesomeness.
I don't want to clean up the mess- no thanks.
Plus we almost resorted to an emergency c-section and our kidod spent time in NICU2 after he was born. I was glad to be at the hospital for that -- even though my pregnancy was very easy.
Love, luck, and prayers to my BFPB Dr. SnowflakeBride
I have seen good births go bad, so when I do get preggos I would want to deliver in a hospital with a NICU. You never know what could happen and if something bad happens, 5 mins seems like 5 hours.
Those that do have home births, kuddos to them! I would always be thinking what if....
This is what we did and it was amazing, I loved it there. I would recommend this to anyone who has this option.
I think that there is some clause with midwives who perform at-home deliveries that you must be within a certain distance from a hospital in case complications do arise. I just find it amazing (and awesome) that for instance, of the 17 kids between all the sister wives on the show, all but Truly were born at home.
I also watched a documentary show on a woman who did an *unassisted* home birth (meaning, by herself, no doc) She just educated herself on what to do in the case of all possible complications and she ended up delivering twins, both breech, and premature, perfectly fine & both healthy. Now of course that wouldn't always be the case, I just think it's something I admire and wish I could do. (give birth at home that is... not birth twins at home unassisted, lol... but again, I don't have the courage
Tyler (10/29/08)
and Lily (4/21/13)
If you have a low risk pregnancy and are deemed to be a good candidate for it, home birth is no more risky than a hospital birth, ftr.
That being said, I personally wanted an epi with my first and needed a c/s with my second, so I wouldn't be a good candidate for one if I were to get pregnant again.
When we do get pregnant DH and I will plan a home birth, as long I am still healthy, the baby is healthy and "low-risk". We've talked about it extensively (for several months) and did A LOT of research.
One thing that really swayed us and also motivated me to do more research was watching The Business of Being Born. Though I had been doing some preliminary research, this completely got DH on board.
Any good midwife worth her salt will be able to spot a potentially dangerous situation well before it becomes a problem. If they can't handle it they will suggest a hospital transport. A good, reputable midwife will also have a relationship with a local hospital for transports. Also good midwives know how do resuscitation, handle breach births, and hemorrhaging. They also bring all kinds of "stuff" to the birth including everything needed to clean up the "mess." Our midwives bring portable fetal monitors along with 2 other nurses interested in homebirths and even suggest first time mothers get a doula.
There are A LOT of misconceptions about homebirths and the usually the ones that get publicized are the horror stories. If you are interested in homebirth do the research, and interview several midwives to find a good one. I go to a practice of midwives that's 5 minutes away from my house; I also only live about 15 minutes away from a hospital. They are wonderful!
By no means am I afraid of hospitals (they save lives!), but I know too many women who's birth plans were ignored because they "failed to progress" and had other unnecessary interventions. If I need to go to the hospital, I'm totally fine with that, but otherwise I'd prefer to peacefully give birth in my own house, at my own pace with my bed, my food, and my hubby near by. I know that situation is what would be best for myself, my husband and my future children.
I saw a pp say "it isn't worth the risk" (or something very similar). Actually, that's for each pregnant woman, her husband, and doctor/midwife to decide. The studies show that for low risk pregnancies who plan an attended HB, it is just as safe (and some studies indicate it is more safe) as hospital birth.
As for the "what if something happens" scenario...true emergencies rarely happen without warning. I read (either on TB or another message board) that a midwife once said "There are situations. And there are emergencies. We never let it get beyond a situation."
A properly trained midwife would transfer you to a hospital long before a true emergency (that is, when it's just a situation).
J. was born at home. It was an absolutely incredible experience. Assuming no complications develop, this LO will also be born at home.
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I have thought about a home birth with a midwife and talked to my H about it. He wasn't to keen on the idea. It's not a huge deal since I love my OB and she is very easy going. The way I see it, as long as you've got a good and understanding OB a hospital birth doesn't have to "feel" like a hospital birth. They let me delay the eye ointment for an hour so I could look at my guy and he could look back. There was no pressure to push, I only pushed when it felt right.
Although I did have a bad nurse so I don't want to repeat that again. I also have fast labors, so I might have a home birth if the next time if it goes to fast lol
DD1 EDD 08/18/01, born 08/03/2001 ~ 9lbs 10oz, 21.5 in
DS1 EDD 4/30/2004, born 05/04/2004 ~ 10lbs, 22 in
mc 02/14/12 @ 5 weeks
DD2 EDD 12/25/12, born 12/30/12 ~ 10lbs 11oz, 21.25 in
mc 12/05/15 @ 12 weeks
Cautiously expecting 12/02/16
BFP #1:10/31/10 DS born 6/22/11BFP #3:4/24/12 DD born 12/31/12
You do realize that you're saying that people who make an educated decision to birth at home are taking unnecessary risks, right? So it's basically their fault if something were to go wrong?
And also, just because you SEE it as risky doesn't mean it IS risky. As pp's have pointed out, numerous studies have shown that for a low risk pregnant, home birth is as safe or sometimes even slightly safer than hospital birth.
Anyone giving birth is risking their life and their LOs life, whether they labor/deliver in a cornfield, at home, a birth center, or a hospital. When something goes wrong, it isn't the fault of the location/setting.
On a completely different note, sometimes the dr. doesn't show up in a hospital birth until the very end. My midwife was there as soon as I wanted her there. (She arrived around 5:30 pm. J. was born just before 11 pm. She would have shown up at 7 am when we realized I was in labor had I wanted her to.) The constant support of 1 medical personnel in addition to DH was great.
I don't believe I would choose it.
If you haven't read this book, regardless of your stance on home births, it's fantastic. I can totally understand why some women do it, and it's given me a better perspective on a lot of hospital/birth center/ home birth situations.
https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Catcher-Chronicles-Modern-Midwife/dp/0743219341/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1322585591&sr=1-3
Seriously, I used to think the idea was a bit out there. Now, while I won't make a conscious decision to do it, I can see why some women would.
I just saw The Business of Being Born last night with my DH and it got us talking, since we are TTC. A home birth seems like a really beautiful thing and something to talk about for years to come, but I am concerned about being nearby help. Luckily a hospital is only 10 minutes away from where we are, but we live in an apartment so I'm not having my neighbors listen to me moan and cry for hours. We also talked about possibly doing a home birth at his parents house (his mother was a midwife) but they're not too close to a hospital.
I found a "Birthing Center" near me which I'm going to check out when the time comes. I don't want meds and would like to give birth in water- I don't know, it just seems clean and natural. The birthing center looks like a great option since they have an NICU right in the building. And I definitely want a midwife- having someone who will be by my side, understanding what I am going through would be heaven sent. Hospital bedside manner is a toss up- you could get someone caring or someone cold- I don't want to ever for a moment feel like a number.
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When my mom was pregnant with one of my sisters, a doctor pressured her into inducing her labor saying that she was past her due date and that the baby was getting too big and it could cause a dangerous birth. My sister weighed less than 7 pounds and the induction was clearly not neccessary. At that point, my parents decided to pursue homebirth and midewifery. My two youngest sisters were born at home which is about 50 minutes from the nearest hospital.
For me personally, I'd like to have our first child in a hospital or a birthing center. My plan is to have things as naturally and hands off as possible, although I do keep in mind that I've never experienced labor pains before and they could be a game changer! I would be open to having a home birth in the future but until I get a better grasp on having a child I want someone with more experience in charge.
DH and I haven't talked about it yet, as I'm not pregnant. BUT, assuming everything is healthy, normal and "low risk", this would be my preferred alternative.
I had a home birth planned for my first, but I developed preeclampsia at 28 weeks and DS was born at 36 weeks. I'd love to have a home birth, but it isn't something I'm comfortable with anymore after that experience.
That being said, I found the level of care to be much higher with a midwife. She was the one who discovered my blood pressure going up. She just paid more attention. When I went in for the first visit with the OB, the tech who took my blood pressure didn't catch the high pressure (she didn't inflate the cuff enough. I worry about what would have happened had I not started at the midwife. I think it's ignorant to assume that a doctor at a hospital is always safer. Definitely getting a new OB this time.
To each her own...
I will definitely be in a hospital. This would be my first so there is no way I would not be in a hospital having not gone through it before. I have a high comfort level with hospitals given my husband's job so I imagine I would actually be more relaxed there then being at home.