Single Parents

did you ever think about going back because its easier?

i foundout last night that the father to my baby has been lying to me the entire time we were together.  i meet him on a dating website and we had a lot of fun together at first.  i got pregnant really quickly but thinks seemed okay, he already has two girls from a past relationship and is a great dad.  i would even babysit for the girls while they went to discuss visitation plans and all that.

 i lived at home but once i told my mom she said so many horrible and mean things and pretty much implied she wanted me gone.  so i moved in with my bf.  he didnt want to tell anyone else until we were past the first trimester, then he was insistant on telling his ex himself.  yesterday she texted me asking if i wanted to take the girls shopping for a christmas gift for their dad.  my bf freaked out and said i could no longer have any contact with them or he would leave me.  he said he wanted his families to be completely seperate or it would be confusing for the girls.  i asked on the blended families board and they told me something wasnt right.

 

well, they were right.  i called his ex and said "i would love to go shopping with you and the girls for kyle, and maybe i could get him something from the baby we are expecting"  she was really quiet but then told me he has told her im in cousin that didnt have anywhere to live and he had been trying to get back together with her and sleeping with her the entire time.

 

i tried to call and text him but no answers.  i packed up my stuff and left last night and slept, or pretty much sat here, all night in my car in a walmart parking lot.  he hasnt called or texted once.  the idea of being a single parent is so scary to me.  is there a chance of working this out?  i have no place to go or any help. 

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Re: did you ever think about going back because its easier?

  • its going to be the hardest thing you have ever done. its extremely hard and it takes an emotional and physical toll on your body. You could possibly work it out. but im not here to get your hopes up. You and him getting back together seems very unlikely. you need to go home and talk with your mom.  Have her guide you. best of luck.

    nothing in the world can bring me complete happiness the way my daughter does.
  • I'm so so sorry to hear about that douche of a man and how he's been lying to you. To be blunt, no, this "relationship" will never work itself out. This man is a liar and a cheat. He doesn't even admit to being with you -- why would you want to be with someone like that? The guy in your life should be proud to be with you and want to shout it from the rooftops. Ok, maybe that's an exaggeration but he certainly shouldn't be telling his X that you're his homeless cousin.
     
    Like PP said, it will be the most difficult thing you've ever done. But do not go back to this man simply because it's "easier". You'll be setting yourself up for heartbreak, stress, and most of all, failure. Neither you or your child deserve to live a life like that. You can do this on your own...and when you do, you'll be so proud of yourself for making it.
     
    Good luck!

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  • Please do NOT go back. If your mom or friends won't help, contact your local women's shelter to get some assistance.
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  • While it's normal to wish the circumstances were different, that doesn't mean you should go back to him.  He's a liar and a douche.  While it may be hard now to be a single parent on your own it would be much harder in the long run if you tried to stay with him.  It's not like he told you a little white lie about being at his mom's house when he was really grabbing a beer with the guys or something, dude has another LIFE.
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  • I am in a similar situation, except I'm married. I got married in june, pregnant in october and found out this month my husband has been cheating on me since july. I understand that being a single mother is going to be difficult and becoming divorced while pregnant is going to be difficult but in the end it gives you piece of mind. You wont have the additional stress of always wondering where your bf is, who he is talking to, or who he is cheating with. Once a cheater always a cheater. Be happy you found out now and don't have to worry about going through a divorce.
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