Nursery school expectations of 4-year-old?

Jinsy80 · November 2011

What do the teachers expect? I had DD1's first parent-teacher conference and it wasn't that positive. The teacher said she had difficulty going from task-to-task. And she seemed to be regressing a bit (asking questions about simple things). We just had a difficult move though, so everyone is still adjusting. Her teacher wants her to write her name the "right" way (while I'm thrilled if she write the "wrong" way in all caps). She also needs to work on using scissors and identifying numbers (she can count pretty good though).

So, based on this her teacher wants me to have her tested at her future elementary school. That she seems kind of "young" for her age...she's a July baby, so yes she's on the younger side. IDK, this teacher isn't even a real teacher. It's all older mothers that had their kids go through the program years ago. Should I just take her suggestions with a grain of salt? I am working with her more on the numbers, but how much should I be doing?

shopgirl78 · November 2011

It's not that strict. My DS1 is 4 years 2 months in PreK3 (his birthday is just after the cut off), so he has one more year prior to KG. He is in a public school with a certified teacher. DS1 scored well on his assessments besides behavior which we are working on--he had a rough transition from daycare to school.

He only recognizes a handful of letters.

He can't write his complete name correctly. Today he wrote "NTHN" for Nathan.

I'm not sure he recognizes many numbers but he can count also.

He can use scissors to cut straight lines but not curves.

He does well on a computer and a mouse.

They also tested his one to one correspondence and vocabulary and pronouncation.

Spin313 · November 2011

IMO, the numbers thing would be the only concern. The rest seems nit-picky.

neverblushed · November 2011

Hi there- lurker from school aged kids!

I would ask for a follow-up conference in February or March, when the commotion of the move has settled down. Some of the "regressive" stuff could easily be a side effect of moving.

However, take these teachers (even if they are not university trained and certified, they see a LOT of preschoolers!) seriously when they make recommendations about kindergarten readiness. I have 2 kids with late birthdays, so I had to make this decision 2x. With my oldest, even though she was one of the youngest in the class, it was clear that she was ready for kindergarten.

With my son, however, it was obvious that he was not going to be ready when he was barely 5. He was academically ready, but he didn't have what I call "with-it-ness." I knew he would have trouble with things like: listening to announcements, keeping his stuff together, transitioning to specials, etc. He stayed for another year of pre-K, and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. He started kindergarten when he'd just turned 6, and it has made a HUGE difference in his confidence. SO much better to be at the top of the class than always struggling to catch up.

flyingsaucer · November 2011

I have been a teacher for a long time and I hate to say that expectations for young kids are way to high these days. Preschool used to be a place where kids would go to socialize and learn to fucntion in a group (and away from mom)... all of this focus on instruction in the early years has only come up in the past few years. I would hold off and see how she does next year in kindergarten

lami22005 · November 2011

My twins are 4 (September), and are in a 3'S Plus Class. They are supposed to be in the 4's/5's, but I'm holding them back for Kinder. (new cut-off Kinder date, articulation speech issues, etc.)

My kids are bright, but are nowhere near writing their name. They also need scissor work. Their teacher has experience with both classes, and stated they fit in perfectly with the 3's plus class.

I know they would be "behind" in the 4's/5's class, but I would not be worried. I'm a teacher, and know what true learning problems are. It sounds like your daughter may just need more time to develop these skills. My son knows all his letters/sounds, while my daughter doesn't. I'm not worried because I know it is more of a lack of interest. She's stronger with fine motor, etc.

My nanny and I are not pushing anything right now, just exposing them to activities that I know they need help with. I bet you in a few months your daughter will have improved dramatically in these areas. And, I would take the teacher's suggestion with a grain of salt.

Smores730 · November 2011

I used to teach pre-k before SAH and things like writing their name correctly were end of the year goals for our school. We were also aiming for 75% on upper and lower case letter recognition and sounds, learning some sight words, identifying numbers up to 20, understanding matching, patterns, rhyming, and lots of vocabulary concept words (longest, heaviest, widest)

Scissor skills are definitely something you can work on at home. I have a kit on my DD's christmas list called "ready, set, cut" that I found on amazon that looks cool. I'd also look for some kind of game to play with numbers. You could always set aside a craft time like when you're cooking dinner where she can simply color but anything she does, she has to write her name on. And there's tons of work books out there to work on all sorts of pre-k skills.

The kid's will learn a lot from January to May and she will mature a lot too from now until next school year. Sometimes kids just aren't ready to learn that stuff yet but by next year, they'll absorb things exponentially faster. I had kids who would come in at the beginning of the year not knowing their colors much less a letter and leave writing their names. Also, don't forget that there will be plenty of kids entering kindergarten with absolutely no schooling. I'd leave that meeting going, okay I'll do some more with her at home but I wouldn't freak out

kmhunt11 · November 2011

Having taught preschool, and other grades up to 6th I was a little affronted when you said the teacher isn't a "real" teacher, but upon thinking about it you're right that she doesn't necessarily know what a kid needs to know in November to be ready for kindergarten next year. In preschool the first half of the year is very social and procedural. The second half is the meat and potatoes of learning. Kids also hit developmental stages at totally random times. DD all of the sudden got interested in letters and writing a couple of weeks ago and basically taught herself to write her name. We're being very reactive to what she expresses interest in, because that interest could drop off tomorrow. Help your child find what she likes and is interested in to help her build confidence. From there, you can build the rest. Now you know what will be expected of her in 6-7 months. You can work with that. I'm sure there are some kids in her class who are borderline reading because that's how their parent choose to spend their time, instead of playing outside, going to museums and the park, and other stimulating experiences. I know a mom that was bragging that her 3yo knows all the presidents on coins. Don't lose your intuition about what your kid is ready for, what actually will help her be successful in school, and the fact that preschool is a great and important foundation- but it isn't kindergarten.

PS- We went through a huge move this year and DD regressed big time. She was a little younger, but threw off all the behavioral and social progress she had made the first half of the preschool year. It'll be ok.

n&bcarlson · November 2011

For now, I would take it with just a little more than a grain of salt. Like a pinch or a smidgen of salt, maybe. Kids learn rapidly. What they can do in November and what they can do the following September are like comparing night and day. I would ignore the social/behavioral things for now (chalk that up to the move) and would take a look at the specific suggestions- identifying numbers, upper case and lower case letters, scissors- and find some ways to work with them every week. When you cook dinner, let your daughter use some scissors on her own for a craft project. When you read a book, pick a letter and have her point out all of the upper case and lower case of that letter on the page. Buy or make some flashcards for her numbers and come up with some games to play to help her with that. If you're really worried, see if you can meet with one of your local kindergarten teachers in the spring to get a better idea of expectations. And remember that some teachers think that a parent conference is not a success unless you walk away with every example of where your child could improve (and sometimes forget to tell you the good stuff).

RHitch · November 2011

We had our first parent-teacher conference a few weeks ago, and DD's PS is just as strict. The "grades" in her assessment areas were 1 (beginner), 2 (developing) and 3 (advanced). For the most part, she received 2's and 3's, but there were a few areas that she received a 1. Like your DC, my DD is one of the youngest in her class with a July 17th birthday and an August 1st cutoff for PS-3.

As expected, she was assessed at the same level as the kids who are a year older than her because they have August birthdays. I think this is a great thing, because she will be in K with those kids and I want her to be brought up to speed if she can. Either way, her teacher assured me that it was only an assessment and did not mean she wouldn't pick up on these things before the end of the year. She did not seem worried at all. She will assess DD on the same things in March though to see if she makes any progress.

I said all this to say this, I do not think you should take it with a grain of salt, but I do think your DC has time to learn these things. Also, please note that my manager's son couldn't write his name the right way when he entered K and she had to spend the first month of school teaching him how to do it. This was actually expected when the K students started school, so it's good that your DC's teacher is bringing your LO up to speed now.

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