Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: I KNEW I loved my OB!!
hmmm. Not sure how to respond. I'm glad he raised the suggestion and not you, but honestly those odds are horrible. Can he give you some idea of his or the hospitals 2010 or 2011 VBAC rate?
The restriction of not going past your due date is also a red flag. Less than 50% of women go into labor before 40 weeks. Right off the bat, you're decreasing your chance by half. I left my previous practice because they had that restriction.
I'm sure you were excited to hear that it was even a possibility, but now maybe it's time to look around and see if you can maximize your chances. Or maybe negotiate to 41 or 42 weeks?
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
My blog
Thanks for the advice ladies! I didn't want to write a novel to begin with, so I was a little stingy with details. My OB has had 4 VBACs in the last 9 months. He said most of the women who are interested in a VBAC get it.
I want a VBAC for 2 reasons: 1 - so that I am better able to care for my DD post-delivery and 2 - I would, of course, prefer not to have major surgery if possible. I had a great c-section with DD, and have no regrets about my first birth experience. My feeling is, as I get close to to my due date I can negotiate more time if I need it. However, if I did end up with another section, I would not be overly upset.
I also know I have an extremely accurate due date, since I had IUI. I guess maybe the fact that DD came a month early means I am not at all worried about a 40 week deadline. I know every pregnancy is different, and as I get closer that might change. We'll see. I have lurked here a lot as I tried to get pg with #2 and I have seen many women dissappointed with a "bait and switch" OB. I guess it might seem careless to those who are 100% invested in a VBAC, but I don't need a VBAC, I would just prefer one. I made the decision to stay with my OB even if he didn't do VBAC, so the fact that I have a chance is just awesome for me.
Sounds like you're in the perfect position mentally! I agree that if you were really going for a VBAC you might want to switch docs, but if you are OK either way then you are probably best staying with someone you like and have a relationship with already. At least he's not doing a bait and switch like you mentioned, he is being upfront with his restrictions and the fact that he is only semi-VBAC supportive.
FWIW, I was very accurate with my dates too and had #1 at 40w6d and my VBAC at 40w1d (not induced). I just bake longer!
I like that he brought up the idea of VBAC before you did.
But I don't like the 40 week restriction. If your c/s would be on your due date, he is not even giving you the full 40 weeks to go into labor, so that could really lower your odds. A lot of the posters here who had perfectly healthy VBACs would have ended up with an unnecessary RCS with your OB's deadline. There is no reason a VBAC mom can't go to 41 or 42 weeks, so I would negotiate that or look into other options in your area if you really want a good shot at a VBAC.
Have you asked him what his VBAC success rate is?
I missed this earlier. What you are saying is not careless at all. Everyone has their own feelings about this stuff and you have to follow your heart.
Maybe play it by ear at the end then? If you get to your EDD, see how you feel. You may want more time, or you may be fine having a c/s.
GL!
I actually am pretty sure that dd's breech position did cause my water to break early. The fact that I am not worried about going "past term" is not based on any facts. It's more that I just can't picture going that far and generally have an "I'll worry about that when it happens" type personality. As I get beyond the 36 week mark (when my DD was born), I very well may feel differently. At that point I'll have a discussion with my OB, and try to finagle (sp?) more time.
What I meant by the fact that I have a very accurate due date was that at least I know it will actually be 40 weeks. I know some women ovulate late and never really get a properly adjusted due date.
It also just makes me feel better that even if I end up with a repeat c-section, I won't be fighting to schedule it close to my due date. I know quite a few women who's OB's scheduled a rcs at 39 weeks or even 38 weeks. It eases my mind to know I won't have to fight that battle. Again, thanks for all the advice and luck! I really appreciate you all taking the time to read and respond to my situation.