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Day care gave him a pacifier - WWYD
Title about says it all... day 5 of day care, and I walk in, and he has a pacifier in his mouth... not only do we NEVER use a pacifier, we clearly didn't provide that one! What would you do?
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Re: Day care gave him a pacifier - WWYD
Just nicely remind them that he doesn't take pacifiers. Honestly, with all the slobber passed back and forth with baby toys/hands, you can't get too worried about the germs. It may be that the daycare has clean pacifiers on hand. I know my daycare had teething toys and such that they cleaned and used when the kids were having pain.
P had refused pacifiers from birth, but I sent one with her to daycare just in case. After a couple days in daycare, I could not get her to sleep...She used to be the easiest baby to get down. I would just lay her in her crib drowsy and she drifted off. So I mentioned to daycare that she was all of a sudden really difficult to get down. Her teacher then says "you are giving her the pacifier, right?"
So they had been kind of forcing it on her during the day for naps, and now she is a pacifier addict. It really sucks because every time it falls out of her mouth at night she cries for it. So frustrating. Also, when we fired that daycare I was unpacking her bag later that night, and they had put someone else's paci in her bag. She had probably been using another kids paci all along. As I said, I fired that daycare for other reasons, but if you don't want your kid to have a pacifier, I would tell them that.
I was in such shock that I didn't know what to say... I went looking for the day care director but she wasn't in, but the director of the center (they also do adult day care) said that it wasn't ok, and that she would go talk to the girl right then... I'm afraid that even if they tell me they aren't going to give him one, they will when I'm not there because he is colicky (I was wondering how they were getting him to nap, and they said that they swaddled him and that was it... but I bet they gave him the paci...)
~ Miscarry at 8 weeks with D&C in May 2011 (low progesterone).
~ Had a healthy baby girl in June 2012 via C-Section (on prometrium to sustain).
~ Surprise pregnancy at age 40! Baby boy due April 26, 2021 (took prometrium to sustain once pregnancy was confirmed, 3rd C-Section planned).
Can I ask why you don't want him to have it if he is colicky and it soothes him enough to get him to nap?
This. I guess I would wonder who's paci it was, and if it was sanitized... but why are you against them? We use one, but don't "force" it in. If she doesn't want it, we don't push it. Also, if it falls out as she falls asleep, we told DC specifically not to keep putting it back in, so she gets used to sleeping without it. We also use it at home to get her to drift off to sleep, and she doesn't need it in to stay asleep. She can also fall asleep without it still. If it helps your baby soothe himself, maybe try it out?
This
So you don't want your colicky baby to be soothed?
I had a colicky baby, and I would have done jumping jacks around the house if a pacifier would have soothed her. Unfortunately, it took a heck of a lot more than that.
I wouldn't make a big stink. This is a minor thing, IMO. Tell them you don't want him to have it if you don't.
But it sounds to me like they're giving him a pacifier because it soothes him, and it probably makes the whole environment more soothing for the other babies too.
I think this is one of those things that you will look back on and wonder what the big deal was. I agree about getting more information - maybe he was inconsolable and a pacifier soothed him. If I were the caregiver, I'd be all over that.
While I am not against pacis at all, I would not be cool with this.
It should have been discussed with you first and second, like you said, where in the world did that one come from??? I would talk to the teacher and director. If you are not satisfied with the response, I would look for a new daycare. Not that this is a major infringement but it does reflect how they might react in more serious situations.
Me too.
My twins are 5! My baby is 3!
DS#2 - Allergic to Cashew, Pistachio, Kiwi
DS#3 - Allergic to Milk, Egg, Peanut, Tree Nuts and Sesame
I would let it go and bring my own pacifiers so that the daycare has them if they need them. My baby uses them when he needs them and I'm finw with that if it makes him happier and everything more calm around the baby room.
Sometimes he uses one at home, most of the time not.
Why wouldn't you want your baby to be calm and happy when he isn't around you? They can't spend 100% of their time comforting him when other babies need to be changed and fed.
This. Yeah, I'd find out what the story is but try to stay calm when you ask. I'd much rather my baby be introduced to a pacifier than know that my baby was inconsolable...
This happened to me. I didn't provide one because she never really was into them but low and behold I showed up and she had one in her mouth. However, this happened after DD was crawling so I think she picked up a paci another child dropped. In your case it sounds like someone gave DS a paci. If you are sharing the responsibility of your child with others you may want to consider what is in the best interest of everyone here, including your child and providers, along with your beliefs and desires. If you are afraid of weaning your child from the paci in the future you might want to consider the amount of lost opportunity of consoling your child to see if it is really worth it. In other words, while comfort now might = work later, the tradeoff might be worth considering. I get coming into motherhood not wanting a pacifier but given the circumstances of a colicky child and sharing the responsibility of your child care with other providers it might be something to let go of. Just my 2 cents. If you are worried about the germs, then it might not hurt to mention and ask them to be careful but as pp said your child is going to be exposed to all sorts of germs from shared toys, etc. and while centers try their best to keep this minimal it is nearly impossible. Hang in there.
I assume he was happy with it in his mouth? I mean, it wasn't taped in there or anything, right?
I would rejoice that my colicky 3 month old found something that soothes him while away from you, run to Target and buy a couple packs to send with him.
Yeah, it sucks that he had another baby's paci in his mouth, but I can almost guarantee that they didn't pull it from another kids mouth, wipe it on the floor, and pop it in your kids mouth. I'm sure they cleaned it. Ideal? No. But it seems like they had good intentions- soothe him so he could take a nap.
Yes!!
I haven't been on in awhile and didn't see ALL of these responses!
As it turns out, many of you were right - the daycare has extra pacifiers, so it was not someone elses. This made me feel MUCH better. The director said that one day, he didn't want the bottle but still "wanted to suck" so they gave him a pacifier. They respected my decision to not use one and he has been continuing to nap without one.
My reasons against pacifiers: they discourage vocalization, negatively impact the palate as it forms potentially causing speech problems or other dental problems, are often used as a first resort instead of the last resort - pacifying the caregiver more so than the child, the germs freak me out, why start something that we'll have to work hard to quit later instead of encouraging finger/thumb sucking or other self-soothing techniques... here's a nice article: https://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pacifiers/PR00067
But, as with almost every child-raising issue, this decision is what works for me and my family - if a pacifier works for you, great! But I was surprised at the harsh criticism from so many of you.
In other news, his colic has gotten much better since I got my oversupply under control. Yay!