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Trouble TTC
You Find Out Who Your Friends Are!
So a very good friend of mine had a baby last Tuesday. Her & her husband of course got pregnant by ?accident.? I thought it would be really hard for me to go up to the hospital and visit her and her baby but it actually wasn?t. I was genuinely happy for her and her husband.
I think the reason that it did not bother me was because she has really been there for throughout my IF journey. One day her & my mom (they work together) left work & drove 15 miles to my house to check on me because I had been crying about a failed IUI. She has never said anything ignorant to me & she has never been boastful about her pregnancy. She has only been supportive of me & my struggle.
Most of my close friends have just had babies or are pregnant. I was so afraid that I was going to be left out of social outings, etc. because I am not in the ?baby club.? She has never left me out of anything, she?s been open & honest with me & included me in everything. I was even able to throw her a baby shower with some other friends and it did not bother me at all. It?s amazing how someone?s attitude toward you & your situation can make it easy for you to deal with difficult scenarios.
Now I have another friend who is pregnant now. She has treated me completely different than the person I talked about above. I have been friends with this particular girl since we were 15 so it really bugs me that things are this way. She hasn?t said anything stupid to me regarding IF or anything like that but she has kind of just treated us like freaks.
I guess she treated me the way I did not want to be treated and that was being left out of things like social outings. For example, one weekend she & her husband invited everyone in our little ?friend group? out to Olive Garden, except us. The reason they apparently did this was because she wanted to talk about baby stuff but not around me. She did not want me to feel awkward and she did not want to hurt my feelings. Well I think my feelings were hurt when I found out we were deliberately left out.
When you go through times of struggle you definitely find out who your friends are!
Diagnosed with Endometriosis 05/05
O5/05 Lap #1 for diagnosis
12/08 Lap #2 for pain management
Married on October 3rd, 2009
Me:30 DH: 35
TTC since 05/10
Clomid 25mg since 08/10
06/11 IUI #1 ended with a m/c
08/11 IUI #2 BFN
09/11 IUI #3 BFN
12/11 Lap #3 for IF
04/12-06/12 Letrezole, Trigger shot, TI
07/12 IUI #4 BFN
"When you feel like you cannot walk another step, that's when you try to run another mile."
O5/05 Lap #1 for diagnosis
12/08 Lap #2 for pain management
Married on October 3rd, 2009
Me:30 DH: 35
TTC since 05/10
Clomid 25mg since 08/10
06/11 IUI #1 ended with a m/c
08/11 IUI #2 BFN
09/11 IUI #3 BFN
12/11 Lap #3 for IF
04/12-06/12 Letrezole, Trigger shot, TI
07/12 IUI #4 BFN
"When you feel like you cannot walk another step, that's when you try to run another mile."
This discussion has been closed.
Re: You Find Out Who Your Friends Are!
Agreed, you sure do. It's good that you have a friend to support you like the first one you mentioned.
I understand the second friend wanting to tread carefully around you, but she should leave it up to you whether or not you want to hear about baby stuff. I would talk to her about how she is making you feel.
TTC since March/April 2010
DX: MFI - less than 1 million sperm, 26% motility
DH put on anastrozole to increase counts
June/July 2011 100 mg Clomid + TS IUI#1 & IUI 2 - BFN :-(
Forced break due to DH getting spinal surgery in August 2011
IVF - January 2012: BFN
FET in April 2012 - BFP at 6dp5dt! Beta #1 at 9dp5dt: 82.5, Beta #2 at 12dp5dt: 352 Beta #3 at 19dp5dt: 6000, saw heartbeat and one little bean at 5W6D!
After nearly 3 years of waiting our LO was born December 18th 2012!
Jan 12: IVF #1 - BFP!