Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Facebook announcement?

In the past few days I have been introduced to Faces of Loss Faces of Hope and at work this morning I presented on doula services and in the discussion miscarriage came up as something that should be shared more often. I personally didn't share my experience as it was a work event and as much as I love my job the work environment is one where people are often told their positions need to be dissolved for funding but then new people get hired out of the blue. I don't trust that by sharing they won't try to find a reason to get rid of me before I successfully get pregnant. 

The site and this morning's event got me thinking though and I am contemplating sharing my story on the Faces website and then putting it out there on Facebook. Did anyone else share on Facebook?  As of now just close family and friends know of our pregnancy and loss so I'm a little nervous about putting it out in to the world but do believe more people should be open about the common occurance of miscarriages.  

BFP #1 on 10/2/11 - Bambishka's EDD 6/5/12, Blighted Ovum, D&C on 11/9/11
BFP #2 on 2/10/12 - Little Nugget's EDD 10/23/12, Natural Miscarriage on 2/29/12
BFP #3 on 6/7/12 - BB's EDD 2/19/13, arrived 2/18/13! <3<BR> Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Re: Facebook announcement?

  • The only thing I put on FB was a poem. I did share my story with faces of loss and i have the link bookmarked but i dont know if im going to share it on FB bc i am friends with a lot of ppl i dont know that id feel comfortable sharing that with. I know that might seem strange bc I am sharing with complete strangers, but those ppl are more like acquaintances from my home town, and I just dont know how I feel about it. I have been sharing the link to my story with family and friends first though. It felt good to type it all out and put it up there. Maybe I can help another mother going through what I did/am.
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers Follow Me on Pinterest blog: www.thesmoreslife.blogspot.com
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  • I didn't. But no one knew I was pregnant either.

    Maybe put it out there in a round about way? Like a quote and most people will get the hint and if anyone asks you can confirm their idea. Might be a little easier that way.

    "Now I lay you down to sleep,
    I pray the Lord your soul to keep;
    Within his arms he'll hold you tight,
    My Heavenly Angel, My Guiding Light."

    "There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world"

    "To Remember Is Painful
    To Forget Is Impossible."
    ~Maureen Connelly


    image

    CJ 05/29/2013

  • Only close friends and some family know about our losses. I haven't mentioned our losses or our struggles on FB. The thought has crossed my mind, but I never end up doing it. I can't decide if I want to let people into that part of my life. It is such a private and devastating time. 

    *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
    "Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it" 
    --Helen Keller 

    4 miscarriages: Nov 2009,  Jan 2011, Sept 2011,  Oct 2012
    IVF Round 1:
    3/4/15: Egg Retrieval
    16 Eggs Retrieved -- 15 Fertilized via ICSI -- 10 Blastocysts Biopsied for PGD & PGS -- 2 (male) Blastocysts Remain for Transfer
    5/13/15: FET -- 5/26/15: BFN
    CANCELLED IVF Round 2.

    Living a happy, child-free life with my best friend.
    *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
  • I have been very open about my losses with close friends and family.  I feel it is important to talk about it and let other women know that it is a very common occurance that is devastating at every stage of pregnancy- but I am not comfortable posting my story on FB.  I think it is great if you are secure in sharing your story that way!
    Missed m/c discovered 11.30.09 at 9w2d DS Born 10.26.10 Missed m/c discovered 11.7.11 at 8w3d Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers BabyFetus Ticker
  • I, too, have been fairly open with my friends and family about my loss but am not willing to share it with 225 of my closest "friends" on facebook.  I am going to wait until I am well into a successful pregnancy and then maybe I'll post something like "After 30something months of marriage and <hopefully> one miscarriage, we are excited for the arrival of Baby Lastname in month!" 
    Married since 7/25/2009
    BFP #1 9/25/2011 | EDD 6/1/2012 | M/C 10/26/2011 at 8w6d
    BFP #2 3/13/2012 | EDD 11/23/2012
    9DPO hcg: 45; Prog: 41 | 14DPO hcg: 694 | 17DPO hcg: 2733 | 28DPO hcg: 53,006
    First u/s 4/13 showed a beating heart! Second u/s 5/2 showed a HB of 163! Let's GROW, baby!
    He's here! Kellen born 11/16/12 - 8 lbs 8 oz 22 inches long via scheduled c-section (breech baby, gestational diabetes mama)
  • imageToiKenne:
    I, too, have been fairly open with my friends and family about my loss but am not willing to share it with 225 of my closest "friends" on facebook.  I am going to wait until I am well into a successful pregnancy and then maybe I'll post something like "After 30something months of marriage and <hopefully> one miscarriage, we are excited for the arrival of Baby Lastname in month!" 

    I've thought of doing this too - only after the baby is born.---> 'After "3-or-so" years of marriage & three <hopefully no more> miscarriages, we're happy to announce the arrival of Baby ___.' 

    *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
    "Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it" 
    --Helen Keller 

    4 miscarriages: Nov 2009,  Jan 2011, Sept 2011,  Oct 2012
    IVF Round 1:
    3/4/15: Egg Retrieval
    16 Eggs Retrieved -- 15 Fertilized via ICSI -- 10 Blastocysts Biopsied for PGD & PGS -- 2 (male) Blastocysts Remain for Transfer
    5/13/15: FET -- 5/26/15: BFN
    CANCELLED IVF Round 2.

    Living a happy, child-free life with my best friend.
    *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
  • I know for us we had not told alot of people that we were pregnant.  So for us to tell people we have lost is even harder.  Some family members that we havnt even told yet and people have told them.  
    April 10 IUI BFN Sept 10 IUI BRN Feb 11 IVF hoping for a BFP! Feb 27 ER 28 eggs Mar 4 8 health eggs, 2 ET Mar 17 - Beta 180!! BFP!!! Mar 21 - Beta 1295!! holy cow what a jump Coming soon 1st Sono March 30!!! Crossing fingers for healthy stick bean(s) Mar 29 miscarry :( 6w 3d 2nd IVF July 2011 BFP July 2011 M/C 11/11/11 hate to say good bye again! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 3rd IVF 4/3/12 ER 46 eggs (holly cow batman) 40 mature, 36 fertilized 4/8/12 ET 2 AB put back 4/10/12 15 make it to FREEZE 4/22/12 Beta BFN 1st FET 6/7/12 Day we are going to put back 2. 6/21/12 BFP 1285 6/25/12 4780 I hope this time they stick!! Deaglan William welcome. My rainbow is finally here February 7, 2013
  • imagehopeful16:

    imageToiKenne:
    I, too, have been fairly open with my friends and family about my loss but am not willing to share it with 225 of my closest "friends" on facebook.  I am going to wait until I am well into a successful pregnancy and then maybe I'll post something like "After 30something months of marriage and <hopefully> one miscarriage, we are excited for the arrival of Baby Lastname in month!" 

    I've thought of doing this too - only after the baby is born.---> 'After "3-or-so" years of marriage & three <hopefully no more> miscarriages, we're happy to announce the arrival of Baby ___.' 

     

    Good call!

    Married since 7/25/2009
    BFP #1 9/25/2011 | EDD 6/1/2012 | M/C 10/26/2011 at 8w6d
    BFP #2 3/13/2012 | EDD 11/23/2012
    9DPO hcg: 45; Prog: 41 | 14DPO hcg: 694 | 17DPO hcg: 2733 | 28DPO hcg: 53,006
    First u/s 4/13 showed a beating heart! Second u/s 5/2 showed a HB of 163! Let's GROW, baby!
    He's here! Kellen born 11/16/12 - 8 lbs 8 oz 22 inches long via scheduled c-section (breech baby, gestational diabetes mama)
  • I put it on FB. I am super open and rarely DON'T post on facebook.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    imageimage
    imageimage
  • After our second loss I wrote something like "today we found out our sweet baby is in heaven. This is the second baby we've lost this year. Please keep us in your prayers as we don't really know where to go from here." (I almost can't believe I remember that.) Only a small handful of friends knew about our first loss and about our second pregnancy but I just had this overwhelming urge to talk about it. I think I just desperately needed the support. And thankfully I got a ton of support.

    I also wrote my story for Faces and shared it on FB. I've become pretty outspoken about it but it's still hard and occasionally awkward. But Im glad I'm "out".


    [spoiler] My Blog: Grow Baby Grow

    BFP #1: 12/2009 m/c 1/2010 BFP #2: 6/2010 m/c 8/2010

    BFP #3: 10/2011 ectopic 11/2011 (right tube removed, learned left tube was probably nonfunctional due to scar tissue from infection after m/c)

    3 failed IUIs, IVF #1: 18R, 12M, 10F, 3 poor quality 5d embryos transferred= BFP #4!!!!!

    Betas: 9dp5dt: 64 ~14dp5dt: 91 (expecting miscarriage, doubling time of 236 hours) ~16dp5dt: 200~18dp5dt: 500

    First Ultrasound at 6w2d revealed two sacs, only one with a heartbeat

    LK arrived after 42 weeks on August 14, 2013! Beautiful, healthy, and happy!

    TTC#2: IVF booked for April 2015

    Surprise BFP#5 February 19, 2015 EDD: November 2, 2015

    Betas: 10dpo: 10, 14dpo: 77, 17dpo: 270

    First Ultrasound at 5w1d showed a miracle UTE baby! And right ovary ovulation to left fallopian tube.

    JD arrived at 38 weeks on October 20, 2015.

    TTC #3: Since October 2017. BFP #6 July 2, 2018 EDD: March 16, 2019 [/spoiler]


  • I had put my story on my facebook, since our pregnancy was quite a roller coaster, and we spilled the beans as soon as we found out we were pregnant I felt it was only fair to our friends and family be made aware of what happened. I write notes about what happened and how I am coping on mine fairly regularly. I find healing when I write, and I wear my heart/emotions on my sleeve, so sharing my story, and my feelings for me has been therapeutic.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    BFP #1 - 8/28/11 -- MMC at 11w2d - Discovered at 13w5d on 11/7/11 -- D&C on 11/11/11
    BFP #2 2/3/12 - EDD 10/15/12 - Born 10/16/12 Lilypie First Birthday tickers ~*~Everyone Welcome ~*~
  • I have a story up on the faces website, I put it up after my second loss. I'm open about my losses and do discuss them on fb from time to time. My first loss was later on so everyone knew I was pg already.

    Jenn

    image 3 IUI's all BFN

    IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN

    Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10

    BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11

    Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11

    my blog

  • imageLaurakat81:
    After our second loss I wrote something like "today we found out our sweet baby is in heaven. This is the second baby we've lost this year. Please keep us in your prayers as we don't really know where to go from here." (I almost can't believe I remember that.) Only a small handful of friends knew about our first loss and about our second pregnancy but I just had this overwhelming urge to talk about it. I think I just desperately needed the support. And thankfully I got a ton of support.

     

    I also wrote my story for Faces and shared it on FB. I've become pretty outspoken about it but it's still hard and occasionally awkward. But Im glad I'm "out".

     

    what's your faces link? 

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers Follow Me on Pinterest blog: www.thesmoreslife.blogspot.com
  • imagelgmom2010:
    imageLaurakat81:
    After our second loss I wrote something like "today we found out our sweet baby is in heaven. This is the second baby we've lost this year. Please keep us in your prayers as we don't really know where to go from here." (I almost can't believe I remember that.) Only a small handful of friends knew about our first loss and about our second pregnancy but I just had this overwhelming urge to talk about it. I think I just desperately needed the support. And thankfully I got a ton of support.

     

    I also wrote my story for Faces and shared it on FB. I've become pretty outspoken about it but it's still hard and occasionally awkward. But Im glad I'm "out".

     

    what's your faces link? 

    I can't make it clicky on my iPad but here it is.

    https://facesofloss.com/2010/09/236.html#more-236


    [spoiler] My Blog: Grow Baby Grow

    BFP #1: 12/2009 m/c 1/2010 BFP #2: 6/2010 m/c 8/2010

    BFP #3: 10/2011 ectopic 11/2011 (right tube removed, learned left tube was probably nonfunctional due to scar tissue from infection after m/c)

    3 failed IUIs, IVF #1: 18R, 12M, 10F, 3 poor quality 5d embryos transferred= BFP #4!!!!!

    Betas: 9dp5dt: 64 ~14dp5dt: 91 (expecting miscarriage, doubling time of 236 hours) ~16dp5dt: 200~18dp5dt: 500

    First Ultrasound at 6w2d revealed two sacs, only one with a heartbeat

    LK arrived after 42 weeks on August 14, 2013! Beautiful, healthy, and happy!

    TTC#2: IVF booked for April 2015

    Surprise BFP#5 February 19, 2015 EDD: November 2, 2015

    Betas: 10dpo: 10, 14dpo: 77, 17dpo: 270

    First Ultrasound at 5w1d showed a miracle UTE baby! And right ovary ovulation to left fallopian tube.

    JD arrived at 38 weeks on October 20, 2015.

    TTC #3: Since October 2017. BFP #6 July 2, 2018 EDD: March 16, 2019 [/spoiler]


  • I had posted about being pregnant just a week (if that) before, so yes, I put the m/c on FB too.  I just said "apparently it's not time for us to have a take home baby.  Blood tests confirm I am no longer pregnant."  Luckily the friends on FB that are more like people I used to be close with rather than actual friends had the decency to stay off the post, or just post their condolences, and not say anything else about it.  Most of my FB friends that are actually friends emailed or texted me to say how sorry they were.  It meant a lot to have that support system, even if I wasn't ready to face them or talk to them.  Just knowing i *could* helped.

    image

    After 7 years of no ovulation...
    BFP#1 10/24/11 ~ EDD 6/29/12 ~ Natural m/c 11/2/11
    BFP#2 2/3/12 ~ Alice born 9/26/12


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Oct Angel Babies
  • Thank you for all of the responses!  After reading through them and talking with my husband I decided to submit our story to Faces and will post the link on fb. For us, we feel strongly that if our story will help just one couple now, years from now, or ones that only hear our story through word-of-mouth, feel less alone than we have done good. 

     I'm so sad any of us go through this and my heart breaks every time I see a new intro in this board. Why must this happen to so many?   

    BFP #1 on 10/2/11 - Bambishka's EDD 6/5/12, Blighted Ovum, D&C on 11/9/11
    BFP #2 on 2/10/12 - Little Nugget's EDD 10/23/12, Natural Miscarriage on 2/29/12
    BFP #3 on 6/7/12 - BB's EDD 2/19/13, arrived 2/18/13! <3<BR> Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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