Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Did you care if you had a boy or a girl?

When you were pregnant, did you hope for one gender over another? I seriously never did. I didn't care one way or the other. But I feel like I'm in the minority on this. I have a friend who's pregnant with her third (already has two boys), and she says she'd better get a girl this time so she doesn't have to try for a fourth. It just seems like one of those things that's out of your control, and what does it really matter in the long run? I also think it's dumb to keep having more kids, unless you really want a big family, just to get a girl or a boy.

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Re: Did you care if you had a boy or a girl?

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  • I didn't.  However, I was nervous when I found out we were having a boy because I came from a family of all girls.  My husband would really like to have a girl next but I don't care and I would never continue to have kids in the hopes of having a different sex.
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  • I really wanted a girl but would've been just as happy with a boy. I was team green so convinced myself baby #1 was a boy. Therefore, I wasn't at all disappointed.  LOL  With #2, I didn't care at all.  I figured if I had a son, great.  If Olivia had a sister, just as great. I love having two girls. 
  • We kinda wanted a boy. I was sure she was a boy. My mouth dropped at the anatomy scan...and then we went and bought a bunch of frilly socks. So, while I had a preference at the beginning, I adore having a daughter.
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  • I was shocked when I found out DD was a girl, but thrilled.  I didn't care either way, but had just felt so sure that she was a boy.

    I love having a girl and now can't imagine ever having a boy!

  • When I was pg with DS I honestly didn't care either way, but DH was really hoping for a boy.  This pregnancy, I wanted a girl.  I tried so hard to make myself not care because I knew I'd feel like such a bad mom if I felt disappointed when we found out the sex, but I knew I'd end up loving another boy just as much.  When the u/s tech said girl, I was so happy I was mad at myself.  Apparently I had let myself care more than I wanted to.

    Idk if I want another baby someday, but DH is pretty much just done with 2.  If this baby had been another boy, I would've had a better chance at getting a third down the line, but since we have one of each DH is set on being finished because our family is "complete".  I think it's silly for people to keep trying for a certain sex and I don't like when children's gender is a determining factor in the number of kids you have, but that would've been one of the only arguments that would convince DH to try for #3.

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  • I really, really wanted a boy. DH and I both did. I think, had we found out the sex, we may have been disappointed. Now we couldn't imagine it any other way. 

    FTR, once DD was here there wasn't an ounce of disappointment. But I do think it's easier to feel one way or the other when you're not actually holding that beautiful little baby.  

    DD1 4.14.10
    DD2 8.22.13
    MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
    Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18

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  • I am so happy with having both my girls! I want all girls (4 of them!). DH really wanted for DD#2 to be a boy so we would have one of each but that didn't happen. We really want 3 or 4 children. Depending on the gender of #3 will depend on if there will be a 4th or not. If we do have 4 I want the next 2 to be close in age like DD#1 and DD#2 are.
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  • I feel the same as you. We didn't want to know with DS, but the ultrasound guy told us(!!!!). We are now trying to get through this pregnancy without knowing - and so far so good! If we have 2 boys, great. If we decide to have a third and it is another boy, great! If this one is a girl, great! If we have another one and it is a girl, great! The number of kids will not depend on gender.

    Get the point? Wink

     

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  • I originally wanted a girl, had only girl names and nursery ideas. After two missed m/c, I just wanted a healthy child. Now I fit the cliche and can't see myself as anything but mom to a boy.

    My MIL actually wore pink to her third delivery, determined to have a girl; she ended up with 3 boys. However out of 4 grandkids C is her only grandson, so she's getting girls in a different way at last.

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  • I didn't really care since it took us so long to have a baby (5 years). But was kind of hoping to have a boy as DH and I have only sisters and both our last names will end with this generation so was hoping to use my maiden name as a baby boy's middle name just to carry it on (Franklin). But, I truly knew I would be happy with either.

    DH didn't tell me that he secretly wanted a girl so was extremely happy when we found out. He only has nephews (and one drugged out niece which we don't really count) so wanted a girl to spoil.

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  • Of course we wanted a healthy baby first...obviously.  We were team green the whole pregnancy so we never knew what we were having until we heard my sons beautiful cry in the OR.  My husband wanted a boy and I wanted a girl, but we both hope to have one of each one day.  I just see my little family as being one little boy and one little girl.  I know I can't control this and we are stopping after 2 children, no matter what happens.  I love my little boy so much and couldn't imagine life w/o him!  With that being said...I still hope to play w/ pink and hair bows one day! ;-)
    PPD/PPA Mom...it has been super hard, but I'm making it! Slow steps...
    Mom to Carter (6), and Calianne (1).  
    Proud VBAC, natural birth, breastfeeding, cloth diapering momma!


  • I wanted a girl, very badly, in fact.  I cried when I found out it was a boy.  I knew I would love my child no matter what (and I love him dearly, of course), but it was like the girl I imagined ceased to exist, which made me sad.  I very much hope this next one is a girl (I had always wanted one of each, but wanted the girl first), but if it isn't we may adopt to complete the family.
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  • I didn't care...but my family seemed bummed about my first being a boy (he was the 7th Great Grandchild, and the 7th boy) and I let it bum me out too, I don't know why and in hindsight it was awfully silly. The bum out only lasted about 2 minutes though.

    For #2 I didn't care...I knew if it was a girl I'd be excited since I didn't have a daughter, but I'd also be excited because I loved the idea of Nolan having a baby brother and I loved having a little boy already.

     

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  • Nope, I didn't. I guess originally I may have wanted a boy, just because I personally always wanted an older brother. But it didn't matter either way. We were Team Green and for the longest time I felt like I was having a girl, and was more than ok with that.

    With #2, since it will be our last, I do sort of lean more toward wanting a girl, just to have one of each, but I would be totally happy with a boy. I love having a boy. :) 

  • imageBFab11:

    Idk if I want another baby someday, but DH is pretty much just done with 2.  If this baby had been another boy, I would've had a better chance at getting a third down the line, but since we have one of each DH is set on being finished because our family is "complete".  I think it's silly for people to keep trying for a certain sex and I don't like when children's gender is a determining factor in the number of kids you have, but that would've been one of the only arguments that would convince DH to try for #3.

    DH says if the next is another girl he thinks he wants to try for a third, with the third being the last no matter what. I'm not sure I even want a next one, so...  

    DD1 4.14.10
    DD2 8.22.13
    MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
    Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18

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  • since this one was in all likelyhood our ONLY one, it didn't matter to me what it was as long as it was healthy. oh the things that first time parents in their mid to late 30's have to think about it.

    when i found out it was a girl, i was ESTATIC !!!

    Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes the eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker - Author Unknown

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  • imageShana419:
    I didn't care at all.  And when the time comes for #2 I think having another boy would be awesome and I would love for James to have a brother, but part of me does want a little girl.

    This exactly. 

    He's growing up, but he'll always be my baby!

    Nathan--11/4/10

    ...big brother to...???? Due March 2014!

  • I will say honestly, at first I really wanted a girl.  This is because I knew I was going to do most of this on my own and for some reason in my head I assumed a girl would be easier for me to relate to because I had gone through all of that myself.

    I worried about havnig a boy and not being able to fulfill the fatherly role enough for him. (This is a fear I still have..) I hope someday to have babies of both genders but since becoming a mom, I have realized that being lucky enough to have a healthy baby, is more than enough for me.
  • I honestly did not care either way.   We tried for so long, we were just so happy to find out we were going to be parents.  I had  a feeling one of the twins was going to be a girl, but I was sorely mistaken at the anatomy scan. 

    This time, I would love a little girl, but I'm not going to be sad if it's a boy, as long as it is healthy.  Cliche, I know, but it's true.

    After this though, we are DONE.

    TTC since Jan. 07
    6 IUIs,IVF #1 w/ICSI = BFP!
    Betas, 332 & 856 = twins!

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  • I didn't care at all.  But in my experience, no one cares for the first one, and they usually want the opposite for the second one.  I don't care for the second one either though.  I just don't want twins!

    I agree with you that people who keep having kids trying to get the other sex are CRAZY!   


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  • Yes!  I really wanted a girl  I have a sister.  I have only nieces.  All my friends have girls and I am a girly girl myself.  I am not gonna lie- I actually teared up when they said I was having a boy and I started crying the following day when I went out to look for an outfit for him and saw racks and racks of girls things I loved and not one baby boy outfit I liked.  Does this make me an awful person?  I hope not.  But what I have to say, is after the shock wore off- I never was so excited to be having a boy.  It just took a day to kick in.  And now that I have a boy I cannot even imgine having a girl.  I feel so complete with my little boy that we are now one and done!  If we went for number 2 for any reason I would now want a boy.
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  • The first time around I initally wanted a girl. Really really bad. Once I found out I was having a boy though, I changed gears and threw myself into all things boy-related.

    The second time around I didn't have a preference. I still wanted a girl, but was so used to thinking of myself as the mom of a boy, that it would have felt perfectly natural if I had another boy.

  • The first time around I didn't care.

    The second time I wanted a girl, that's what I got. : )

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  • I didn't care much the first time around and was somewhat relieved when we found out it was a boy since I knew that it made my DH a bit more at ease...  even though he was ready to start a family, I think he would've had even more anxiety about the whole thing if it was a girl.  I felt all along that it would be a boy anyway, so wasn't surprised when we found out.  For my current pregnancy, I was sure it would be a girl since things felt different to me, and of course the OWT predictors and charts said it would be a girl, so we were shocked when we found out it was another boy.

    I'd be lying if I said a part of me wasm't a little sad since I'd always hoped to have at least one of each and DH is pretty set on us only having 2 kids, but I got over it really quickly when I realized how cool it will be for my boys to grow up together, so close in age.  I was disappointed in my FIL's reaction though, b/c apparently he really wants a granddaughter to spoil as he only had boys of his own, and when we told him it was another boy he sounded all put out about it.  As if we could help it!  Anyway, I love being a mommy to my son and can't wait for another one!

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  • I wanted a boy but I wasn't against having a girl at all. I would have loved to have a daughter just as much as I love having my son. I have older brothers so my mind set was if I have more then they would have an older brother too. DH on the other hand was all man saying "It better be a boy" I would correct him with "well what if it is a girl?" and he would say that he would be happy any way. 
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  • imageShana419:
    I didn't care at all.  And when the time comes for #2 I think having another boy would be awesome and I would love for James to have a brother, but part of me does want a little girl.

    This is me.  I really do want a little girl, but another little boy would be great too.  I want a second child that is healthy.   

  • At first I was convinced that I wanted a boy.  We even tried Shettles the first couple of cycles of TTC. By the time I conceived I just didn't care.  I did have some anxiety when I found out she was a girl, though.  I had it in my head that boys are easier to raise than girls.  Of course I wouldn't have it any other way.
  • I didn't care at all for my first and had a boy. I actually kind of wanted another boy the second time around just because I felt like I knew what I was doing (ha) and had clothes. But now that we're having a girl I am so pumped!!

     

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  • I didn't care at all with the first two. Now, I would definitely prefer to have all girls (we want 4 kids).
    Anneliese Olive 11/5/09
    Hazel Dianna 1/8/11
    Luna Valentine 4/25/13


  • Had we had them one at a time, I'd have wanted one of each, not really caring who came first. Once we found out it was twins, DH wanted at least one boy. I wanted both to be the same gender. Seemed easier somehow. Thankfully, with two boys, we both got what we wanted. I sometimes wonder what my life would be like with a daughter, but there's no way we're having any more.
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  • Didn't care and don't care what we have next. Having  A healthy baby is all I'm worried about.
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  • imagehopecounts:
    Didn't care and don't care what we have next. Having  A healthy baby is all I'm worried about.

    This exactly.

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  • DH and I both wanted a boy and DH actually high fived the ultrasound tech when we found out at the anatomy scan.  I am done having biological children. When we start the adoption process next year we will try to adopt a girl.
  • I really, really, really wanted a girl and I think for about 5 seconds I would have been disappointed if I found out I was having a boy. If there is a # 2 I don't think I'll care one way or the other.

    TTC #2 July 2014

    Me: 35 DH: 36

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  • I didn't honestly care, and would go back and forth with "feeling" one or the other. I was probably leaning more boy preference, mostly because of the lack of drama I perceived as going with a girl and because MIL would try to make her into a Mini-her. Everyone guessed it was a girl, so i kinda got ingrained into thinking that (although I secretly thought it was a boy). But when we found out it was indeed a boy, a little part of me had to let go the thought of a girl.

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  • I wanted a boy first, and got one.  I plan on 3 children and always wante the oldest to be a boy,  This 2nd pregnancy I didn't care either way.  Actually thought it was another boy...but I was wrong.  Took a bit to wrap my head around that!  I didn't care if I had a mix of LOs or all of one gender.
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  • I hoped for a boy but I would have been fine either way.  I think it's silly to get invested in one gender over the other when you really have no control over it.  We are planning on having three kids and if we get to number three and I still don't have a girl then that's fine.  It's out of my control.

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  • No preference with DD but was sooooo excited when we found it was a GIRL!

    No preference with DS1 but I knew I wanted a 2 girls and a boy...

    I wanted a girl sooooo bad with DS2 but yeah....and while I was upset, it wasn't anything shopping couldn't cure and i adore DS2.  He's perfect and fits better in our family than a girl.   


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