Is it ok to ask the hostess for certain things I want at my baby shower?

creneedavis · November 2011

I'm very greatful for the awesome people throwing me baby showers (So far 4 small ones have been planned in multiple states and 1 BIG one), but there are certain things I want at my BIG one. Is it ok to express my desires for the baby shower such as a candy buffett for guest favors, catered finger foods, and a cake from a specific bakery? I don't want to seem pushy or be disrepectful and unappreciative, but I know what I want. Please help!

Bride2be123456789 · November 2011

I am in the midst of planning a shower right now so In my opinion I think certain things are ok the MTB that I am planning for mentioned a game she wanted to play so I incorporated it but as far as specific favors, catered finger foods, and specific bakers I would be ticked to be honest. It would sound both desrepectful and unappreciative IMO not to be rude. But honestly I made our favors and am buying foods to make myself as well having someone I know make the cake and this shower is costing over $1000, so I definitly would not request those things unless the person throwing the shower asks for your opinion.

ryry1977 · November 2011

I don't think it is right of you to ask of those things. Some imput is ok, but about the food I don't think so. At least to that degree. I think that your suggestions sounds pricey and wouldn't be welcomed imput.

Jim&Jaime · November 2011

MUD!

sanriobaby · November 2011

I only think these topics are appropriate to discuss IF AND ONLY IF they are asked of you by the host. Keep in mind that a baby shower is a gift, and for the most part, the reciever of a such a gift doesn't get to dictate the food menu or where these items should be purchased b/c you don't want to come off as unappreciative or distrustful of your host. But if your host asks you for your opinions and preferences, then by all means share, but don't expect that's it gonna be done exactly the way you wanted either.

Julia_JJ · November 2011

Jim&Jaime:
MUD!

Seriously. Five showers and you want to pick the catering? Ha!

girley75 · November 2011

I think it would be NOT OKAY to ask for these things.. I am having a shower in January and also throwing one for my friend in a couple of weeks. If my friend asked for specific things without my asking her(mind you I've asked her what she wanted) it would put me in a VERY uncomfortable position.. My budget is $250 for this shower, we are doing an evening BBQ, so you have to be considerate of what your host can afford...

Now if they ask, that is a different story entirely... But for my shower, I'm trying to stay out of it as much as possible.

FarmvilleLover · November 2011

I'd be fine with it. If I were host it means less for me to plan.

KaliChick · November 2011

In short, yes it's rude. Your friend(s) are doing a very nice thing by throwing you a shower. You are to be a gracious recipient, not demanding. If you want specific things than host your own shower. If they ask you for your input then you can gently suggest ideas, but otherwise, nope, it's rude.

My best friend is hosting my shower ... all she's asked me is if I'd rather have brunch or a potato/salad bar or sandwiches. I gave my general input and nothing more. I'm grateful she's doing it at all, not going to be picky. Plus I trust her judgement!!

klreese0213 · November 2011

i think it's rude to expect those things. if you are asked your opinion then mention them. or if your hostess is searching for ideas such as favors them mention what you'd like.

however, catered finger foods- really?? id definitely drop that real quick.

For my shower, my mom asked me if i wanted a cake from my favorite bakery. knowing it'd be expensive she still offered. i definitely made sure she was ok with it and that it was within her budget. it was a nice treat and honestly, my FAVE decoration to the shower.

If you are requiring these items- YOU need to pay for them.

Jess0619 · November 2011

Has the hostess asked for your input? If not, I wouldn't mention anything. The first two "requests" seem pricey, anyway. Considering a shower is a gift, you don't get to have a say in the specifics unless asked. It's nice enough that you're receiving a shower let alone FIVE of them.

BallSox · November 2011

creneedavis:
I'm very greatful for the awesome people throwing me baby showers (So far 4 small ones have been planned in multiple states and 1 BIG one), but there are certain things I want at my BIG one. Is it ok to express my desires for the baby shower such as a candy buffett for guest favors, catered finger foods, and a cake from a specific bakery? I don't want to seem pushy or be disrepectful and unappreciative, but I know what I want. Please help!

Holy entitlement. You mean to tell me that in your 5----yes, FIVE---showers someone isn't going to do things exactly like you want? It's a shower, not a wedding.

"Hey m2b, I'm thinking about your cake. Chocolate or white?"

"OMG--I'm so glad you asked!!! I want a 3 tear raspberry filled white cake with buttercream icing and hand-formed fondant baby rattles from Jane's bakery. I want it cut in exactly 1/2 inch wide pieces, except for mine which should be a solid 2 inch width. It needs to be served at room temperature with a glass of punch chilled to a brisk 45 degrees"

"So....white cake from Costco? Cool"

TAU1980 · November 2011

I think if you offer to help them by paying for/bringing some of these things you want, it's ok. Otherwise, it's just asking them to spend more money than they already are, which isn't very good etiquette. I think that the MTB should have some say in her own shower, but they'd have to ask you or solicit that response rather than you broaching the subject.

sfinchWed68665 · November 2011

BallSox:

creneedavis:
I'm very greatful for the awesome people throwing me baby showers (So far 4 small ones have been planned in multiple states and 1 BIG one), but there are certain things I want at my BIG one. Is it ok to express my desires for the baby shower such as a candy buffett for guest favors, catered finger foods, and a cake from a specific bakery? I don't want to seem pushy or be disrepectful and unappreciative, but I know what I want. Please help!

Holy entitlement. You mean to tell me that in your 5----yes, FIVE---showers someone isn't going to do things exactly like you want? It's a shower, not a wedding.

"Hey m2b, I'm thinking about your cake. Chocolate or white?"

"OMG--I'm so glad you asked!!! I want a 3 tear raspberry filled white cake with buttercream icing and hand-formed fondant baby rattles from Jane's bakery. I want it cut in exactly 1/2 inch wide pieces, except for mine which should be a solid 2 inch width. It needs to be served at room temperature with a glass of punch chilled to a brisk 45 degrees"

"So....white cake from Costco? Cool"

lol

SunMoon&Stars · November 2011

No.

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