Confused with my mom...

repedrick · November 2011

We live 6 hours away from my mom. With DD1 (her 1st grandchild) I called to let her know that we were headed to the hospital (at 11:30PM) but to not head down yet cause we didn't know anything (I was only 36wks). I called her again at 1:30AM (she wanted me to call anytime we knew anything) to let her know that they were keeping me but that it was going to be a long time cause I was barely dilating but my water had broke. She informed me that she was already on her way. She arrived around 5-5:30AM and I told her she could go to our house and rest and come to the hospital later when it was closer (I didn't want everyone waiting in the waiting room forever). She left and was back within 2 hours & stayed in the waiting room the remainder of the day. DD arrived at 6:44PM that evening so it was a very long day but my mom was first in the door to see and hold her.

This time, I told her that she didn't need to sit in the waiting room- that I would call and let her know what was going on and we could time it better with her driving (meaning- don't drive 6 hours in the middle of the night by yourself) and that if she got there a few hours after he was born that was good. She informed me that she probably wouldn't be making the trip down until the middle of March so depending on when he comes he would be a month old (I'm due 2/15).

WTH? I didn't say anything more but I'm just confused on why such the difference. She knew from the beginning that she was not going to be in the delivery room (no one except DH) so she shouldn't be offended by that.

Anyone else have parents some distance away and when will they be coming?

Aprilsies · November 2011

Hah! This sounds like my mother... I will ask her or want something specific as far as the baby is concerned and she gets all huffy about it if I don't want her up my a**!

mrsadamc 05 · November 2011

Last time I labored all night and delivered at 7:30am.

My MIL was in my room visiting by 10am. Oh, and she tried to take a picture of me nursing. Thankfully the lactation consultant was in there and totally took the bad cop role and was all "Helll no you won't take her picture while she does this!"

That will not happen again.

I have already told DH that if I labor all night again no one visits until I've had a nap.

My parents live a 4 hour plane ride away so they won't be in for a while. I'm due May 1st and my brother graduates from college at the end of May. They'll come in town for that.

Mrs_MBed · November 2011

We're in TN and our families are in CA. My mom is going to be coming out the week of my RCS to take care of the girls. That's the plan anyways. My MIL (who is awesome) is coming out in May for a few weeks to help us pack and to attend DH's graduation ceremony.

My problem is that I have a history of PTL and am now carrying twins (who are often born preterm), so we have to guess when she needs to fly out. Plus, I don't want her here for more than about two weeks - she'll drive me nuts and stress me out, which is not helpful when I'll be trying to figure out how to take care of twins.

ELF4321 · November 2011

Is it possible that last time she thought you might need her there because it was your first time, but now that you're on your second, she thinks you can handle things on your own just fine?

CMattus · November 2011

My hospital has a rule... you sign up the people that you will want with you during delivery (maximum of 4). After the baby arrives, noone except for Mommy and the people on the list can see the baby for 2 hours.... then the visitors can come. It just gives baby & Mommy time to recuperate. I'm loving this rule because I'll be signing in only my mom & DH so I'll have at least 2 hours before I have to deal with everyone else!

jp0129 · November 2011

My mom is 1,000 miles away. I told her that if I deliver naturally she can just book her ticket then. I have 90% chance of a c section due to health reasons. So she will just book her plane ticket about 2 days after wards so she can stay at home with me for the entire week she will have off.

My dad is 2 hrs away so he will just come down whenever. My MIL and FIL are about 10 min away. So I am sure they will be at the hospital from day 1

Tina272 · November 2011

Last time I called my mom around 9pm and let her know baby was definitely coming. She flies for free and was in my hospital room by 11am the next morning. We are in NY and she lives in TX.

Not really sure what will happen this time. My SIL's family lives two doors down so if I go into labor in the middle of the night one of them will just come sleep at our house with DD. My mom will probably just do the same thing as last time and come up once we know baby is coming. She will stay 3 weeks or so to help out.

baloneydisc · November 2011

My family all lives here (parents & brother/SIL/niece) about 30 min to an hour from the hospital. They will all be visiting us at the hospital. My MIL & her BF live in FL (I think it's like 15-18hrs away by car or something). MIL has already told us she probably won't be visiting until the baby is 2-4 weeks old because she plans to stay with us & doesn't want to disturb us too much when we're first home from the hospital.

I'm totally fine with that because I really don't want people staying with us as soon as we're home. I am a little surprised however, because my MIL is so very excited about this baby. It's her second grandchild, but the first is almost 17 & a boy, so she is going crazy getting to buy little girl things.

beachbunni307 · November 2011

We will probably call our parents when i'm admitted to the hospital and have information to give them, or my water breaks (if that happens)....then let them make the decision of when to come. My parents are about 45 minutes away and his parents are about 10 minutes away. Everyone knows that at our hospital the hour after delivery is mom, dad, and baby time so they will have to wait in the waiting room or go do something else during that time. I don't want to exclude them though. They are the grandparents and are just as excited as we are about this little guy coming into our lives.

Ya Never Know · November 2011

DH and I are going it alone. We'll update the family as to being in labour etc.. but only really want visitors once the baby is actually here. Not much point to them all sitting around in a waiting room if I'm in labour forever.

tinac535 · November 2011

ALL of our family are in Ireland!! We just had my parents over which was so great, but sad to think now that we wont see them until after the birth. We go home every Christmas but this year we are not going to as am due Mar 3 and feel like I will be very pregnant at Christmas. So we have decided to have my parents come after the birth as I could go way over with it being our first baby. We def want them here to see the baby

Cant wait!!!!!

sanriobaby · November 2011

My mom and siblings live about 2hrs away, so I will call them once we go to the hospital to give them all a chance to finish whatever they are in the middle of and depending how far along I'm in active labor, they can either decide to come down right away and just wait it out at my home til "it's time" or they can come down later that day/night. They won't be in the room while I'm pushing though, I really only want my DH and I to have that moment, but they can come in afterwards. I expect for them to stay the first few days and then return a few wks later but we'll see how that all comes along, lol!

kiarstin · November 2011

I have no idea when my mother is coming but I am sure its well after and my dad it could be months. MIL and all husbands side will visit baby probably in hospital and MIL will be at birth. As far as your mom goes, 1st baby is more exciting than 2nd. Chances are she was super excited and wanted to be there for every 2nd. Now shes been there done that. My sister has 3 kids already and my mom was nutso excited about her kids, I rarely even hear from my mom. And the weird thing is we get along better than her and my sister, its just excitement wears off. On husbands side we are first grand-kid and the only other child int he family is 11 so its been a long time, so everyone is super excited!

lcloffredo · November 2011

My dad lives far away and I don't get to see him very often. I'm due in March and I told him he should come down for a week or so in April and meet his first grandchild and what not and he said maybe next year...wtf? I'm an only child and this is my first, he seems really excited at the concept of being a grandpa but not to see her anytime soon, I just don't get it.

KRISTA555 · November 2011

When DD was born, my IL's came out about 10 days later. My parents didn't meet her until she was 5 months old and we visited them for Thanksgiving. That sucked. No one on my side of the family met her until then. It was hurtful but I got over it.

This time, we live near my family, but DH's family is scattered across the country. Pretty sure his parents will come out, but I don't think his other family members probably will.

All of this is kind of wierd because we are actually pretty close to our families. You wouldn't think so by how often they have chosen to visit us, though.

lalyssalou · November 2011

We live with my MIL, so when we rush to the hospital, she'll either tag along (though I hope she doesn't), or my BIL will swing by and pick her up on his way to visit once the baby is born.

My folks, however, live in a different state. I still have no idea when they will see the baby, but it will be their first grandchild, so I kinda wish my mom, at least, will hop on a plane as soon as she finds out the kid is here. It's likely that they will just wait until we have the baby blessed at church and come up for that (about a month later).

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