Single Parents

Feeling so much stronger already.

It's officially been over a week since H was arrested. In that time I have seen numerous friends, thrown my son his first birthday party, got a promotion and a killer raise, and spent time with my father who I haven't seen in over a year.

I didn't think I'd feel this way but I am so HAPPY. I am no longer stressed or constantly upset. Since he has been gone my eyes have opened up so much to how much he controlled and manipulated my life and tore me down and made me his victim. I am happy to come home at night and my mother/boss even mentioned I seem so much happier at work. She was expecting the complete opposite and is very relieved to see me with a smile on my face.

As of tomorrow STBXH's probation hold kicks in. Which means even if someone was dumb enough to post his $2,200 bail, he'd still be stuck in there with no way to be released. I feel free and safe. 

I almost feel (kinda) guilty about him being in there as he IS still my H and maybe I should miss him......but I don't. None of me cares and that right there goes to show I had already moved on even before he did what he did. It was just the final straw. I know some days will be harder than others but none will be as terrible and depressing as the days I spent being hurt by him. I feel like a boulder has been lifted off my back. Big Smile

Today, he called a mutual friend of ours as was back to being the "angry" guy. He was mad no one bailed him out and said he was done with his family. He was going to serve his time, get out and go far away from us. I doubt it will go quite like that when the day comes but it's nice to know that he's still an a$$ in there. Only made me feel better about making the choice that I did.

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Re: Feeling so much stronger already.

  • Enjoy the freedom and your new life! Happy for you! So awesome!
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  • I'm so happy to read this post.  That's a sure sign that you do feel better.  I just want to add a word of warning though, and I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer, but just be easy with yourself.  You are kind of on a "high" right now of leaving him which is the best thing in the world, but there will be somedays where you*might* miss him or at least things about being with someone and that is OK.  That does not mean you need to be with him or go back to him.  Just know that it's normal and will pass. 

    A lot of us have been where you are so we can offer the advice having gone through it before.  I'm so glad you have had so many positive things develop.  I also encourage the counseling, especially if/when there are tough times.

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  • I was smiling for you as I read this post. I'm so happy you've had a weight lifted and are starting to feel like your old self again. Enjoy your new freedom and take things one day at a time.

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