dear family and friends, ( a christmas letter from people who have lost a child)

kate6267 · November 2011

Here is that letter I told you about from my support group It is yours to change and chose to do with it. I just wanted to share! I will use the name Sam in this letter but obviously you would change it to be specific to your situation.

Dear family and friends,

Please do not expect too much out of me this Holiday season. It will be my first Christmas without my son, Sam, and I have all I can deal with in coping with the "spirit" of the holiday on the radio, TV, in the newspapers, and in the stores.

I do not feel joyous and trying to pretend this Christmas is going to be like Christmases in the past is impossible because my main hope for the future is gone.

Please allow me to talk about Sam if I feel a need. Do not be uncomfortable with my tears. My hear is breaking and tears are a way of letting out my sadness.

I plan to do something special in memory of Sam. Please recognize I need to do this to keep his memory alive, My fear is not that I will forget, but that you will. Please don't criticize me if I do something that you don't think is normal. I'm a different person now and it may take a long time before this different person reaches an acceptance of her sons death.

As I survive the stages of grief, I will need your patience, love and support, especially during this holiday season and the "special" days throughout the year.

This Christmas, please take the money that you would've spent on a gift for Sam and buy a special ornament for your Christmas tree. Each year when you hang it, please take a moment and remember Joey.

THe purpose of this letter was not to depress you, or diminish your holiday happiness, but to serve as a reminder of all those that are no longer with us. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday season. Thank you for not expecting too much from me this holiday season.

Peace and love,