Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: first baby c-section, second baby?
I had a c-section with my first baby. I plan to VBAC the one currently in my ute. It is a very personal decision and there are a ton of stats. I say do your research and ultimately, do what your heart tells you to do. There is a VBAC board on here if you want to check it out. I feel very passionately about the topic and will be driving 2 hours to deliver with a very VBAC friendly doctor so I have the best chance. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions!
Oh & remember, there are risks with BOTH a VBAC and a RCS.. As there are with just being pregnant, the birth process in general and just walking down the street.
I am a rookie to this site (as you probably noticed!) and am just learning the terms but thank you sooooo sooo much for your response and for telling me about the VBAC board on here. I am definitely going to read up on some stories on there and take your advice on researching as well as following my heart. Again, THANK YOU!
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
I had a VBAC with my second and I'm really happy with my choice. The risk of a uterine rupture is less than 1% if you've had one low horizontal incision. To put that into perspective, it's similar to the risk of having an emergency in any labor, so VBAC is not that much riskier than any other vaginal delivery. It is a serious risk you need to think about, but there are also serious risks with another c/s. You would have to do over 7000 elective repeat cesareans to prevent one fetal death from uterine rupture.
Of course there is nothing wrong with choosing another c/s. It really comes down to what feels right to you.
We have a VBAC board here, please feel free to post any questions you have there.
My doctor is very pro-VBAC for non-high risk patients!
I'm not a candidate. My first was an emergency c/s because LO's heart rate dropped into the 40's and he wouldn't fit through the birth canal. His head was actually a total conehead and they had to pull super hard to get him out of my pelvic bone during my c/s.
This baby has a serious heart condition and we're afraid that her heart can't handle the stress if the same situation were to occur. And the first one was terrifying for me, we didn't know if we'd be getting a live baby out of the deal. I'd rather feel like I have some control over the situation this time around, which may be flameful.
Not flameful at all! Good luck with your delivery and best wishes to your little one.
Not that this post applies to me (yet), but I just wanted to say there's nothing wrong with having a RCS, even if it weren't the best thing for you and/or baby. No flames here! GL and I hope your LO is born as healthy as possible!
I really, really wanted to vbac my DS but ended up with a RCS. I fretted the idea of taking care of 2 toddlers with major restrictions (no lifting, carrying, etc.) for at least 6 wks pp typically. My OB would only allow a VBAC if DS was vertex (which he was) but only let me go a few days past my due date. I went to 40wks and she had me schedule a RCS at 40w, 2d.
I'm very thankful I had a safe delivery and a healthy DS but I'd be lying if I said it hasn't been frustrating at times recovering from a RCS with my twins to take care of, too. It is what it is but and I'm learning to accept that a VBAC just wasn't in the cards.
I had DD1 via unplanned c/s in 2007. When I became pg with DD2, I was told that the choice was up to me and we discussed the risks associated with both - which is important as there are risks associated with both. I opted for a repeat c/s, based on my personal history. My BFF, on the other hand, is hoping to have a VBAC for her next child and has already started doing her research as well.
I think that it is awesome that your doctor is encouraging/supporting your decision to VBAC. There are a lot women with success stories. Be sure to also check out the VBAC board, I know that they have a bunch of resources to help you.
GL with your research!