Deciding to find out the sex?

brandenburdett · November 2011

My husband and I are having trouble deciding whether to find out or not. We still have a couple of weeks to think about it...

Initially, we thought that we would find out (even though we didn't with our first). We thought it would make it easier for us to connect to the new baby, to explain it to our daughter, and to decide if we should keep her clothes for hand-me-downs.

But yesterday, we both had a sudden change of heart. Does it really matter? We will find a connection, Paloma is excited about the baby (whether it is a boy or girl), and all of our newborn clothes will work.

How did you decide if you are finding out?

ELF4321 · November 2011

We're both planners and "information" people. There's no way we could not find out, when given the chance. I want to have a name picked out, the nursery completely decorated, and not all gender-neutral clothes ready to go when baby comes!

If you're on the fence, you could ask the tech to write it down and seal it in an envelope, then put it away somewhere in case you change your minds later.

theboki · November 2011

We did IVF, and had the embryos PGD tested for chromosomal abnormalities. So we know the sex of the one we transferred, as well as the two frosties we have for later. It really wasn't a big deal to us, but now we are enjoying looking at pink and girlie things.

jennasita · November 2011

ELF4321:
We're both planners and "information" people. There's no way we could not find out, when given the chance. I want to have a name picked out, the nursery completely decorated, and not all gender-neutral clothes ready to go when baby comes!

If you're on the fence, you could ask the tech to write it down and seal it in an envelope, then put it away somewhere in case you change your minds later.

What she said. Yes

GooglGirl · November 2011

We have 7 between us and really there is no surprise here I am dying to find out just so I can bond and feel that much closer

I think the biggest surprise was finding out I was pregnant to begin with ,,, hahaha

MelissaMiso · November 2011

I was sure at the beginning that I wanted to know. My husband too. Now, I'm not sure I want to know. Hubby still does. We've got a few weeks. I love the idea of having the tech put it in an envelope.

aurora1974 · November 2011

I second what Elf said. Plus, I love being able to call her by her name and not always having to refer to her as "the baby".

MrsJordanalmond · November 2011

we are both scientists and couldn't imagine NOT wanting to know available information.

bridekimmie · November 2011

I have always said I would not want to know the sex of my baby. And so far I'm sticking with that. I personally think that that is the last true surprise in life. I look forward to hearing the doc say "congrats you have a ...." DH is slowly getting used to the idea. Am a little surprised how other people feel though. Agree with the idea of having the tech write it down and sealing it an envelope. Best of luck with whatever way you choose. I am finding I am bonding with baby already, and not worried that we don't know the sex. I think it's kinda fun too.

Geeps2 · November 2011

We are not finding out the sex of the baby. My DH would love to know but was kind enough to forgoe his want to know and go with the surprise and now he is having just as much fun trying to figure out what the baby is.

We are so bonded with this baby it's crazy. I could care less if it is a boy or a girl, as long as he or she is healthy that is all I care about. Oh and I LOVE surprises!

As for the nursery it's painted a neutral color and I had my Mom make my crib set due to not being able to find anything that I like and I picked out fabric that will go for either a boy or a girl.

We plan on having at least one more baby if that is in the cards for us and I don't want a ton gender specific stuff that may or may not match up with a possible baby #2.

My sister has 2 girls and a boy so I have a ton of newborn clothes to use so I am not worried about the baby wearing yellow and green forever.

It is a personal choice. I get some people need to know but I love not knowing.

Owl38 · November 2011

I am at 34 weeks and still don't know. Though I feel like its a boy. The tech did write it down and seal it in an envelope for us. I didn't think I'd get this far, but now we like it. There are no expectations, just a bond with the baby.

mamasixpack · November 2011

We have so many kids that we needed to know just so we would be able to figure out who's getting a new room-mate!!

FyreFlyeRush · November 2011

I'm on the fence. I wanted to know with DD, but she didnt cooperate. I found out at 38 weeks. With this one, I figured if I can wait 38 weeks, I can wait two more. So, initially, I didn't want to find out. My (now) ex did. So, I thought, OK, we can find out. Then we broke up (not baby related), and I realized it's my choice alone. So, I keep thinking...I can find out with the amnio. Well, I don't want to know. Maybe I do...no, maybe I don't. Lol, in the end, I think I'm going to decide when I have the amnio and tell the doctor then. I'm leaning toward not knowing. I don't mind a green crib set or baby clothes. That's what happened the first time. I can have names for both genders picked out. I called my bump Jordan and ended up naming DD Jordanne. This time, I call it Jessie.

ChavayJakov · November 2011

I just plain wanted to know. Not knowing would have me building up hope or at least "seeing" one gender over another during my "mommy fantasy" about our upcoming life. I didn't want to enter that scene ... sure, we want a healthy baby, but I didn't want to daydream about pink looking at all the adorable things in the store if I wasn't going to have a girl. Turns out, we are having a boy and I'm over the moon ecstatic and love that my daydreams are more or less narrowed seeing a little version of my husband.

You know, if you aren't sure when the time comes, bring a card/envelope with you to the sonogram...have them right b or g and seal the envelope until you guys feel you are going to break. Or, wait for the later term sonogram to find out if you've changed your mind in the 2nd tri.

Mayfaerie88 · November 2011

bridekimmie:
I have always said I would not want to know the sex of my baby. And so far I'm sticking with that. I personally think that that is the last true surprise in life. I look forward to hearing the doc say "congrats you have a ...." DH is slowly getting used to the idea. Am a little surprised how other people feel though. Agree with the idea of having the tech write it down and sealing it an envelope. Best of luck with whatever way you choose. I am finding I am bonding with baby already, and not worried that we don't know the sex. I think it's kinda fun too.

I was always the same way about not wanting to know. DH kind of wanted to know, but now he is excited about hearing what it is on the day LO arrives! We had names picked out before we even got pregnant and we are in the process of trying to move, so a nursery won't be set up right away. We are older (41, 42 respectively) and our main concern is that the baby is healthy Everything else will fall in to place. We just call the baby-Bebe for now. Good luck to everyone however you choose!

Mehllers · November 2011

There was never any doubt that my husband and I would find out the sex of the baby as soon as possible. It was a great surprise on the day we did find out. Getting to meet her and see her face on her birthday will be another great surprise.

I am a huge planner. We already have chosen her name and call her by it. This pregnancy has also been hard on my body and full of physical complications as well as mental freak outs. I felt that knowing the sex gave me something concrete and positive to think about. And we are "one and done". I didn't want to have to get everything gender neutral when I know there will be no future babies. I can buy all the gender specific stuff I want.

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