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FyreFlyeRush
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Child Support Opinions
FyreFlyeRush
member
My friends think that I'm wrong that I want the father to be legally obligated to pay child support once the baby is born. They are telling me that taking him to court is the wrong thing to do, and I should just let him pay as he's able. He is vehmently against being ordered by the court to pay it. He thinks I should be content with him paying whatever whenever.
I believe that I should involve the Attorney General, as it keeps everyone honest. They make him the legal father. They set up custody and visitation. They deduct the payments via payroll. He can't miss one, and I can't say I never received it. I think this is the most intelligent and responsible thing to do. I think part of his motivation is that he doesn't want to pay the state mandated 20%. He wants to be able to pay less. The man makes 16K more a year than I do, and I while I don't exactly make bank, I do ok. Is it wrong to think that he can afford to pay a little more than 100$ a month? Is it wrong to get the AG involved when we were never married? Unlike my friends who would be getting divorced in a similar situation, I won't have a divorce decree to protect me.
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Re: Child Support Opinions
I agree with you. Have the courts decide. He doesn't get to just choose what to pay when to pay just because he wasn't the one who carried the baby for 9 months.
I am debating whether or not to go for CS for DS because I make 3x more than STBXH and we are doing joint custody. But if I do, you can be sure that I will have it documented through the courts. It's in everyone's best interest that way.
Your friends sound like morons.
There are CS calculators based on the state you live in. I would start there to get a general idea of how much you could be looking at.
I just finished my child support paperwork for my divorce and personally if you have ANY issue with what he's planning to pay (or if you think he may skip payments, etc.) then by all means file child support paperwork! Make sure to go through the child support calculators and put in all the information. That being said...
Because my ex-Husband and I are on speaking terms and working together on everything, I filed the child support paperwork stating that he would pay me directly. This made him more willing to work with me, but also allows me to go back to the court if he misses a payment or refuses to pay and get the paperwork fixed to have it taken out of his paycheck. Easy peasy. Just beware that depending on your state laws you will have to fill out other forms regarding the child (ie. parenting plans, etc.) and depending on the circumstances, you will be required to give him visitation if he's paying child support. My cousin refused child support so that she could keep her ex away from their son due to his personal issues.
Hope this helps!
P.S. Just an FYI: a divorce decree doesn't protect anything. We still have to fill out all the paperwork for child support like someone who's never been married. At least that's how it works in my home state. :-)
Just from my experience, definitely file for CS through the state. Ex and I weren't married, and I waited 3 years after we split up to file through the state for CS. He was paying regularly, but 50% less than what the state calculated. The program is there for a reason, to be fair to both parties and the children involved.
I regret filing immediately because we had so many back-and-forth issues about payments. All of that would have been a non-issue had he been paying the state (directly from his paycheck), and the state depositing it in my account. Idk what the AG does different from the state child support agency, but definitely check it out for your state.
Be careful with this...depending on what kind of parenting schedule you two agree upon, you could wind up paying HIM child support. Since your LO is so young, I"m assuming you'd be the primary caregiver. In my state, CS is calculated based on how many overnights the non-custodial parent has...so, for example, if you two had a true joint custody arrangement, since you make 3x what your STBXH does, it's quite possible you'd be ordered to pay him CS even though your visitation was equal.
We're in Texas, and it's 20% for one child. I went through this with my daughter, but the state sued him because at the time I was on Medicaid (I was all of 19). My friends aren't morons, though they seem to be on Team Dad and Team Hate Mom Because She Dumped Him. Which really sucks, because we've been friends for years.