And I thought I'd miss out on this! (MIL)

redheadinlove · October 2011

I've had such a great experience with everyone so far. Everyones known about the baby for 5 weeks now and not one person has said anything critical or over stepping.

Then I went to see my future in laws this weekend.

Everyone was great and wonderful except a small spat with my MIL. I'm not really complaining. More so laughing at the first occurrence. We intend on cloth diapering and when my MIL heard she told me "Well, go ahead and buy a couple but don't get a full stash. You'll learn it doesn't work." She then went on to explain her own experience.

I basically just told her calmly and firmly that we were committed to our decision.

Honestly, I will never argue with her because I don't even have to consider her advice. She was NOT a good mother and would not follow in her footsteps.

I'm so hot headed, I'm surprised at how well I handled it.

Any other recent conflicts?

gervaisj6 · October 2011

Ugh. I hate it when people say, it didn't work for me, so..I am not you!

LisaBea · October 2011

My MIL was also not such a good mom and she tries to tell me exactly how its going to be be and how I have (not should) do it. Ugh, its frustraiting.

redheadinlove · October 2011

gervaisj6:
Ugh. I hate it when people say, it didn't work for me, so..I am not you!

Right? But like I said, she was a bad mother. I won't be surprised no matter what she says she couldn't do. I'm a much stronger woman, thank you very much!

redheadinlove · October 2011

LisaBea:
My MIL was also not such a good mom and she tries to tell me exactly how its going to be be and how I have (not should) do it. Ugh, its frustraiting.

See, anytime I give someone advice (and I tend to give advice when it isn't asked for) I don't say they HAVE TO. I say it like advice should be given, "here's my experience, here's what people I know have been through, and here's what statistics and such that I've heard. I hope you find something that works for you."

Now on certain things I may be on my soapbox, but at least I recognize it's still their decision

annerz22 · October 2011

That would be annoying. Especially since so many older women don't realize just how MUCH has changed since they had newborns. CD's are awesome now and so much easier to use then even 5-10 years ago!

hopefulmom81 · October 2011

I made the huge error of telling my SIL who had an epidural for both births that I firmly believe I can do it med-free, at least I want to try for as long as I can.

She goes, "you won't be able to do it" !?!?!

I was like "thank you for the vote of confidence"

Seriously, just because SHE didn't prepare herself mentally and couldn't do it doesn't mean that I can't. I am TOTALLY open to getting an epi if needed, but I want to at least try on my own. Who says that?

jp0129 · October 2011

My brother is the only one who has tried to give me "advice" if you want to call it that. When I went to see my niece they gave me a bunch of books. I said thank you and tehy have been in my trunk ever since. I have several freinds with kids and several who are pregnant, If I dont know something I will ask them. I dont have time to read 15 books. I will say they did the cloth diaper thing and gave it up after about 2 weeks. THey live on the third floor and the laundry was killing them and costing a fortune. I guess if you live in a house or have a washer and dryer it is better. They are very "earth friendly" and have made several suggestions to me.

nlewis123 · October 2011

All of our family has known for weeks, but my dad and stepmom have been out of town for the past 3 weeks. I am defiantly starting to show. It may be bloat but it defiantly is not me gaining weight (I have not gained a single pound). She asked me what week I am (12 weeks) and then said "well you need to be watching how much you eat, gosh you are getting big" my immediate response was to tell her I hadn't put any weight on (not too calmy) and then walk away. I was soooo pissed! She has always been opinionated and extremely rude. I told my dad he better tell her to back off before I go off on her.

redheadinlove · October 2011

annerz22:
That would be annoying. Especially since so many older women don't realize just how MUCH has changed since they had newborns. CD's are awesome now and so much easier to use then even 5-10 years ago!

Right? That is the one thing I tried to tell her. But I didn't try very hard haha

My fiance still thinks we will use disposables for fishing and camping trips, but I intend on getting at least a few AIO even if I don't like them so that it's super easy for him. And he will learn how it's just as easy. "But what will we do with the dirty diapers on a camping trip?" Well...what would we do with disposable diapers on a camping trip?? haha

TBBrooks · October 2011

I love my in-laws, and I really shouldn't complain, but they are driving me up a wall lately. I mentioned that we are considering cloth diapers, and my MIL and SIL went OFF. They told me that Oh no, I will not, and they will buy my diapers if we're so broke (which is not the case in the least). They are well aware that it is not a financial issue, but a personal choice. They told me that I was crazy and that it was disgusting. I am extremely stubborn, and the conversation eventually came down to them saying that they're going to buy diapers for their houses regardless of whether or not I choose to cloth diaper. I kindly (or not so..) explained that these are MY babies and therefore MY decision, and if I so choose to cloth diaper them to avoid the chemicals in disposables, then they will either respect my decision or they won't be watching my children without me there.

My MIL has also informed me that she needs 2 carseats for her vehicle. We literally live across the field from them, so it really is not an issue for her to get the carseats from my car if she were to need them. I'm also interested in knowing where exactly, and how often, she thinks she will be taking my children without me. Enough to need her own carseats?!

Not to mention, if she calls them "her babies" one more time, I really should not be held responsible for my actions.

Wow... didn't know I needed to get that out! (End Vent!)

redheadinlove · October 2011

TBBrooks:
I love my in-laws, and I really shouldn't complain, but they are driving me up a wall lately. I mentioned that we are considering cloth diapers, and my MIL and SIL went OFF. They told me that Oh no, I will not, and they will buy my diapers if we're so broke (which is not the case in the least). They are well aware that it is not a financial issue, but a personal choice. They told me that I was crazy and that it was disgusting. I am extremely stubborn, and the conversation eventually came down to them saying that they're going to buy diapers for their houses regardless of whether or not I choose to cloth diaper. I kindly (or not so..) explained that these are MY babies and therefore MY decision, and if I so choose to cloth diaper them to avoid the chemicals in disposables, then they will either respect my decision or they won't be watching my children without me there.
My MIL has also informed me that she needs 2 carseats for her vehicle. We literally live across the field from them, so it really is not an issue for her to get the carseats from my car if she were to need them. I'm also interested in knowing where exactly, and how often, she thinks she will be taking my children without me. Enough to need her own carseats?!
Not to mention, if she calls them "her babies" one more time, I really should not be held responsible for my actions.
Wow... didn't know I needed to get that out! (End Vent!)

My dad and step mom don't care if we cloth diaper but they've said that if it isn't easy for them, and we ask them to watch the baby, they will use disposables. I'm okay with that simple because it's US asking THEM to take time to take care of a little one that isn't theirs. But they're also willing to give it a shot.

Ugh, my mom already has a carseat for when she watches my cousins daughter and has already talked about how often she wants the baby. Our biggest way to keep her off is keep the baby off bottles as long as possible. But I already don't want to use a bottle if I can help it.

ETA: I'm glad you have a place to vent about it =]

TBBrooks · October 2011

redheadinlove:
TBBrooks:
I love my in-laws, and I really shouldn't complain, but they are driving me up a wall lately. I mentioned that we are considering cloth diapers, and my MIL and SIL went OFF. They told me that Oh no, I will not, and they will buy my diapers if we're so broke (which is not the case in the least). They are well aware that it is not a financial issue, but a personal choice. They told me that I was crazy and that it was disgusting. I am extremely stubborn, and the conversation eventually came down to them saying that they're going to buy diapers for their houses regardless of whether or not I choose to cloth diaper. I kindly (or not so..) explained that these are MY babies and therefore MY decision, and if I so choose to cloth diaper them to avoid the chemicals in disposables, then they will either respect my decision or they won't be watching my children without me there.
My MIL has also informed me that she needs 2 carseats for her vehicle. We literally live across the field from them, so it really is not an issue for her to get the carseats from my car if she were to need them. I'm also interested in knowing where exactly, and how often, she thinks she will be taking my children without me. Enough to need her own carseats?!
Not to mention, if she calls them "her babies" one more time, I really should not be held responsible for my actions.
Wow... didn't know I needed to get that out! (End Vent!)

My dad and step mom don't care if we cloth diaper but they've said that if it isn't easy for them, and we ask them to watch the baby, they will use disposables. I'm okay with that simple because it's US asking THEM to take time to take care of a little one that isn't theirs. But they're also willing to give it a shot.
Ugh, my mom already has a carseat for when she watches my cousins daughter and has already talked about how often she wants the baby. Our biggest way to keep her off is keep the baby off bottles as long as possible. But I already don't want to use a bottle if I can help it.
ETA: I'm glad you have a place to vent about it =]

Honestly, it really isn't even the diaper issue that I have a problem with. I'm not even sure that I'm going to cloth diaper at this point. It's the fact that she feels like she is able to make parenting decisions for our children. For example, she has also basically told me that, although I intend to BF, she will giving our babies formula when they are in her care. We plan to discipline our children in one way, and she says that they won't be disciplined at all when with her. She seems to think that she knows best, and so she can decide what's best for my children if I'm not around (and sometimes even if I am). I feel like it's disrespectful to me, and potentially harmful for my kids. It makes me not trust her and not want her to watch my children. It also wouldn't be such an issue, except that she's decided that she should quit her job and stay home to watch them. My DH and I will certainly discuss this, and I'm very grateful for the option, but I also feel that their childcare is, again, our decision.

I may just be more cranky than I thought today. Feel free to let me know if I'm being irrational!

redheadinlove · October 2011

TBBrooks:
redheadinlove:
TBBrooks:
I love my in-laws, and I really shouldn't complain, but they are driving me up a wall lately. I mentioned that we are considering cloth diapers, and my MIL and SIL went OFF. They told me that Oh no, I will not, and they will buy my diapers if we're so broke (which is not the case in the least). They are well aware that it is not a financial issue, but a personal choice. They told me that I was crazy and that it was disgusting. I am extremely stubborn, and the conversation eventually came down to them saying that they're going to buy diapers for their houses regardless of whether or not I choose to cloth diaper. I kindly (or not so..) explained that these are MY babies and therefore MY decision, and if I so choose to cloth diaper them to avoid the chemicals in disposables, then they will either respect my decision or they won't be watching my children without me there.
My MIL has also informed me that she needs 2 carseats for her vehicle. We literally live across the field from them, so it really is not an issue for her to get the carseats from my car if she were to need them. I'm also interested in knowing where exactly, and how often, she thinks she will be taking my children without me. Enough to need her own carseats?!
Not to mention, if she calls them "her babies" one more time, I really should not be held responsible for my actions.
Wow... didn't know I needed to get that out! (End Vent!)

My dad and step mom don't care if we cloth diaper but they've said that if it isn't easy for them, and we ask them to watch the baby, they will use disposables. I'm okay with that simple because it's US asking THEM to take time to take care of a little one that isn't theirs. But they're also willing to give it a shot.
Ugh, my mom already has a carseat for when she watches my cousins daughter and has already talked about how often she wants the baby. Our biggest way to keep her off is keep the baby off bottles as long as possible. But I already don't want to use a bottle if I can help it.
ETA: I'm glad you have a place to vent about it =]
Honestly, it really isn't even the diaper issue that I have a problem with. I'm not even sure that I'm going to cloth diaper at this point. It's the fact that she feels like she is able to make parenting decisions for our children. For example, she has also basically told me that, although I intend to BF, she will giving our babies formula when they are in her care. We plan to discipline our children in one way, and she says that they won't be disciplined at all when with her. She seems to think that she knows best, and so she can decide what's best for my children if I'm not around (and sometimes even if I am). I feel like it's disrespectful to me, and potentially harmful for my kids. It makes me not trust her and not want her to watch my children. It also wouldn't be such an issue, except that she's decided that she should quit her job and stay home to watch them. My DH and I will certainly discuss this, and I'm very grateful for the option, but I also feel that their childcare is, again, our decision.
I may just be more cranky than I thought today. Feel free to let me know if I'm being irrational!

I don't think you're being irrational at all! Even if I don't agree with a certain persons parenting style, if I were to watch their kid, I'd follow their behaviors (unless it's harmful, of course). She's definitely starting to overstep her boundaries early. Hopefully she starts to accept things the way they are once the baby is actually here.

maybayb25 · October 2011

Ugh. Not only does my MIL literally roll her eyes at every name we tell her we like, but the other night she told me she hopes that our child doesn't have blonde hair (like me). My husband has brown hair. Angry

altachica · October 2011

My MIL actually suggested I quit my job after I have the baby. I asked her why I should have to, she never did. (She left my hubby to be raised by his grandparents while she partied and dated any man in the area).

That shut her up.

I hate that she assumes my job is less important. I don't protect the public everyday like my hubby does, but my job is important to me. Obviously, our child will be really important to me too, but my job gives me a lot of self-worth and I like contributing to our household.

kstopforth · October 2011

Go you for not snapping! I had a little spat with my FIL ...

My husband has a younger brother and sister (12 and 11) and his father tends to spoil the CRAP outta his little sister but screams at his little brother for every little thing. Now, I know it's not my place but I just snapped! My husband's little sister walked up and interrupted my FIL and I while we were having a conversation. When my FIL told her to hold on because we were having a conversation she stomped her feet and whined, "You didn't let me finish!" Normally, when she whines like that, my FIL is immediately at her side apologizing. This time, however, as she stormed off I looked him dead in the eye and said, "I swear on all the is holy that if you run off and coddle her for that I was slap you when you get back! She is the CHILD you are the ADULT! Act like one!"

My husband looked at me with the most confused look and my FIL was stunned as he said, "Yes ma'am." I later apologized and told him it was my hormones but it really felt so good that I finally came out with it! Though I know I shouldn't have said a word!

redheadinlove · November 2011

kstopforth:
Go you for not snapping! I had a little spat with my FIL ...
My husband has a younger brother and sister (12 and 11) and his father tends to spoil the CRAP outta his little sister but screams at his little brother for every little thing. Now, I know it's not my place but I just snapped! My husband's little sister walked up and interrupted my FIL and I while we were having a conversation. When my FIL told her to hold on because we were having a conversation she stomped her feet and whined, "You didn't let me finish!" Normally, when she whines like that, my FIL is immediately at her side apologizing. This time, however, as she stormed off I looked him dead in the eye and said, "I swear on all the is holy that if you run off and coddle her for that I was slap you when you get back! She is the CHILD you are the ADULT! Act like one!"
My husband looked at me with the most confused look and my FIL was stunned as he said, "Yes ma'am." I later apologized and told him it was my hormones but it really felt so good that I finally came out with it! Though I know I shouldn't have said a word!

Oh dear lord! I'm kind of glad you DID say something! Maybe he'll realize what he's doing is wrong.

Laxbugg1410 · November 2011

Get used to it-- this is what pregnancy and motherhood is all about: Unsolicited input from other moms. WOO HOO!

The best part is, you find yourself doing it (despite your best efforts not to) once your child is born.

;-)

blueshamrock7 · November 2011

nlewis123:
All of our family has known for weeks, but my dad and stepmom have been out of town for the past 3 weeks. I am defiantly starting to show. It may be bloat but it defiantly is not me gaining weight (I have not gained a single pound). She asked me what week I am (12 weeks) and then said "well you need to be watching how much you eat, gosh you are getting big" my immediate response was to tell her I hadn't put any weight on (not too calmy) and then walk away. I was soooo pissed! She has always been opinionated and extremely rude. I told my dad he better tell her to back off before I go off on her.

That is so obnoxious! My Aunt is usually very speculative about my weight so I was shocked when we went out to dinner with her & my uncle and I was at 6 weeks and they were encouraging me to EAT, EAT, EAT! Have dessert! Have an appetizer, have this, have that. I swear, I was shocked LOL!

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