Moms of 2+: how much harder is it??!!!

cs1007 · October 2011

Right now DS is 28 months and I am pg with #2. He will be almost 3 by the time LO #2 arrianother arrives... I am starting to have major anxiety about adding another one to the mix. I SAH, and some days with DS I feel like I am running around like a chicken with its head cut off. He is a good little boy for the most part, just a handful! I know he will be a little older and less dependent, but it seems a little scary right now. I cannot even imagine how I am going to manage. How much harder is life with 2????

justme04 · October 2011

DS1 was only 20 months (almost 21) when DS2 was born and I swear I had a panic attack during my whole pregnancy. LOL. I'm not going to say its super easy, it is deffinatly an adjustment. I'm a SAHM too so I know exactly what you mean about running around after one. So far DS2 is rather stationary so i'm not going in opposite directions yet...it is coming though I'm sure.

Just like having one baby it takes awhile to get in the swing of things and geting a routine down but it all works out in the end. Leaving the house for any reason (alone with the kids) is more work though. And it sucks that I have to take both kids to a doctors appointment when it is just for one of them. Last week DS1 was soo mad (because it was a month after his last checkup) and I think he thought he was there for more shots. He cried when the nurse came in with the tray of shots for DS2. Which then of course made DS2 freak out.

mavs_girl07 · October 2011

DD was 25mos when DS was born...It's definitely an adjustment, but it's gone much more smoothly than I expected it to. Don't get me wrong, we've had our fair share of days where I wanted nothing more than to lock myself in the closet. But the good days definitely outweigh the bad. You'll manage, without even thinking about it. Your mom instincts will take over, you'll take multi-tasking to the next level, and you'll have so much fun with the two of them that it'll be hard to remember what life was like without your new LO. Good luck, you'll do great.

Iamsmalls · October 2011

Ours are 21 months apart. DS is 6 months old and I just now feel like I'm figuring this out. I'm totally amazed at women who say it isn't that hard. DH travels a lot for work so many days I am a "single" working mom and those days are HARD. I feel terrible wishing away the baby time but I am really poking forward to a little more independence.

Jen&Len · October 2011

DS was 21 months when DD was born. The first year (or until the second becomes fully mobile) was really hard. I feel like after they're able to move around and entertain themselves it's easier. They started to really play together (and fight) a couple of months ago. DH does a lot of shift work, so he's on the overnight shift half of each month. I work full time, so those weeks are tough....I feel bad, but DD gets a LOT more alone time than DS did. But as a result, she is far more independent than he was at her age...either that or it's the boy/girl thing

chloephoebecali · October 2011

I expected the worst and it totally is not. I love having them close and DS was not planned because I was not ready. The worst days are when DD is teething or is extra cranky, but for the most part we function well. It takes much longer to get out of the house, but we still do it. DD LOVES DS, so I think that helps. She loves babies in general. DS is a very easy baby now that we have him on reflux meds and Elecare. DD was miserable most of her infant life. As a mom of 2 little ones, I find I have to pick my battle and not nit pick. I also have to let some stuff go that I would never have otherwise, because I cannot follow through with discipline at the time (never safety stuff, though). My house is a bit messier, but life is good. I love cuddling a baby, yet having the company of a 2 year old to keep it interesting and extra fun. GL!

Smores730 · October 2011

My kids have a 28 month gap and it hasn't been bad. It's longer to get out the house, longer getting in and out the cars, someone always needs something, and less me time. They are each others' source of entertainment so sometimes it's easier on me in that regard (also a SAHM) My #1 is old enough now that I don't need to watch her diligently when we're out at functions because she's so busy playing with her friends. It allows me to play "chase" with the baby. You have to remember that you get a good 5 months of the baby just sitting around for the most part which allows your oldest child to mature and become more independent too.

ABMcKinney · October 2011

Mine are only 15 months apart and I honestly think it's easier than having only one kid. They keep each other occupied and are best friends!

DesignsOnYou · October 2011

For me, it was coming to the realization that one of them will be crying, and I have to be okay with that and not get frazzled.

When you just have one, you're used to being able to immediately tend to their needs and pacify them as necessary. With two, you have to prioritize. Sometimes, LO #1 has to wait until I'm finished nursing LO #2. Sometimes little sister has to fuss while I'm getting LO #1 ready for bed.

I would say we're in a good place right now though because my older one has learned a little more patience and they play and love each other so much. They really are best friends and my oldest loves taking care of her little sister.

There are definitely hard days but as was already mentioned, the really good days outweigh the bad. Just make sure to secure a babysitter at least one night a week to relax a bit or you will go insane ;-)

SailorGray · October 2011

My guys are 25 m. apart. I was nervous, but have been very surprised at how much my 2 year old has "stepped up". Yes, he has taken things up a notch to make sure he isn't forgotten (like that would happen), but he is so, so helpful. He absolutely loves his brother and is always giving hugs, patting him, giving DS2 his paci, etc. One thing is that I have had to do things some moms may frown upon, like using tv to babysit DS1 while I nurse, but it works and you gotta do what you gotta do.

soapymk · October 2011

My daughters are spaced out 7 years so the oldest adjusted pretty well, she was pretty helpful with the little one, but now my youngest is going to be 3 and we are exoecting #3 in May, I know since LO's an attention hog this will be difficult for her, so I'm trying to get her to have some play time to hersele, and educational shows on tv to get her used to being by herself a little more, and not climbing on me all the time, but I know the green monster of jealousy will make itself knows when the baby arrives

Soap1 · October 2011

Mine are 15 months apart. I'd say the hardest part is just the logistics... getting two kids out of the car, bathing two kids, feeding two kids, putting them down for naps. How to take DS1 potty in public (I just let DS2 sit on the dirty bathroom floor... antibodies!).

DS1 was still such a baby when DS2 was born so that was tough, and it still is, but now DS1 can help so much more. I can ask him to get a pacifier or a towel and he'll do it. We want one more and I'd like them to be 20-25 months apart because DS1 is at such a great age to be a big brother!

Basically two kids is hard, no matter how far apart they are, but it's also great. The cutest thing is when they make each other laugh!

*LrCg* · October 2011

Mine our 15 months appart and I never felt it was hard- but I also never thought having one was an adjustment. I will admit I am a very organized person- I'm the type of person that has my meals planned out for the week and posted on the fridge and today's meal is already prepared as is part of tomorrows. One days that I work, I set the dinner table prior to leaving the house. Sitting cloths out the night before, packing the bag for the DCP, schedule of events/activites on days that I am home with the kids, etc. It may sound like a lot of planning but its second nature to me and it really makes it much much easier. Having a 3 year old now, I can say that I think it will be easier with a 3 year old vs. a 15 month old. I think you will be surprised that its not as bad as you are thinking.

Popple123 · October 2011

Well, I have a 1 week old and a 2.5 year old so take this with a grain of salt-- so far- it's been easy! I had a ton of anxiety during my pregnancy about managing 2 children but it really just works itself out. I found that toward the end of my pregnancy I was not able to do as much with DD1 and it forced her to become more independent. By the time the baby came she was used to not getting 100% of my attention all day. Really, the adjustment has been very smooth.

bim38106 · October 2011

My girls are 20 months apart. To be honest, I felt like having 2 was almost easier then having 1! For the first...oh, year and a half at least. I was busy, and it was more to juggle at least... but they kept each other entertained and we quickly got into a new routine and it was great. DD2 was also a super laid back, easy baby and a good sleeper. So that made a huge difference!

What I'm finding is that it gets harder as they get older...but again, that could be their close age difference! They fight a LOT now. Individually, they are great at playing alone and so easy. But put them together and walk out of the room, and they're fighting and hitting and biting each other w/in 30 seconds. That's enough to make me lose my mind

Overall, now that they're older, I have to agree with the saying that having 2 doesn't double your work, it multiplies exponentially... but it's also amazing and wonderful and I wouldn't change it for the world and would do it all over again in a second!

etude de la vie · October 2011

Soap1:
Mine are 15 months apart. I'd say the hardest part is just the logistics... getting two kids out of the car, bathing two kids, feeding two kids, putting them down for naps. How to take DS1 potty in public (I just let DS2 sit on the dirty bathroom floor... antibodies!).
DS1 was still such a baby when DS2 was born so that was tough, and it still is, but now DS1 can help so much more. I can ask him to get a pacifier or a towel and he'll do it. We want one more and I'd like them to be 20-25 months apart because DS1 is at such a great age to be a big brother!
Basically two kids is hard, no matter how far apart they are, but it's also great. The cutest thing is when they make each other laugh!

This Mine are 16 months apart and it is very hard because you have 2 babies. Our next will be when DS is 3 years old!

GoombaGirl_79 · October 2011

I've been having anxiety about this too now that DS 2 is due in just over a month! DS 1 is also really hitting the "terrible 2's" so I keep thinking "oh dear LORD what am I going to do with a newborn on top of Mr. Crazy Pants?!" At least when DS 2 is getting to be 2 years old, DS 1 will be 4 1/2.

HockeyWife4Life · October 2011

Mine are 19 months apart and is way easier than I ever expected it to be. It was a small adjustment in terms of getting two kids out the door in the morning or going grocery shopping but overall it isn't much different. It is getting way easier now that DD is getting older because she is such a little helper. She picks up DS's sippy cup when he drops it, brings me diapers when I need them and helps entertain DS.

khagan9368 · October 2011

I'm in the same boat - starting to freak out a little but I know when the baby arrives we'll adjust (please god)

iteachk · October 2011

Popple123:

Well, I have a 1 week old and a 2.5 year old so take this with a grain of salt-- so far- it's been easy! I had a ton of anxiety during my pregnancy about managing 2 children but it really just works itself out. I found that toward the end of my pregnancy I was not able to do as much with DD1 and it forced her to become more independent. By the time the baby came she was used to not getting 100% of my attention all day. Really, the adjustment has been very smooth.

The first week was incredibly easy. DH was home, and the baby slept all the time. After that, the next 6 wks were miserable. I seriously wanted to jump off a cliff. My toddler was horrible - throwing constant tantrums and requiring so much extra attention. It's finally settling down now & it's not bad at all.

Ivana_Stolichnaya · November 2011

I'm scared! My friend just had #2 on Oct. 14th and she has a 22 month old. The 22 month old was a terror when we went over to visit. He was starving for attention and pulling it on strong with the parents by climbing into the baby's swing head first from the back...several times. He also came close to smashing a toy car on the little sister's head. They have yet to get a picture of their kids together because they don't trust the older one around the baby yet. I caused my anxiety to raise a little. I know I can't compare apples to oranges between their family and ours but I couldn't help but freak out a little.

Soter1 · November 2011

Like another poster said I think the logistics of actual "well being" care is the hardest part. Feeding, bathing, dressing and getting out he door on time for anything is the hardest. If you don't have to go anywhere it is nice, they play together and entertain eachother. I think it is easier at home with two because they entertain eachother.

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