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From the Mouths of Babes

maxsommaxsom
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

My sister had told her kids (10 and 8 y/o boys and a 3 y/o girl) about my pregnancy.  My sweet little niece was all excited when she told her.  "Aunt Miranda's gonna have a baby?!"  Well, when I miscarried, how do you explain something like that to a 3 y/o.  Besides, she hadn't mentioned it since she was told about it, so one might assume she'd forgotten about it.

I was babysitting tonight and, out of the blue, my niece asked me "Do you have a baby at your house?"  I just said no.  Then she said "Where'd your baby go?"  I just said that my baby went bye bye.  She asked where, which I wasn't sure how to answer cause I'm not sure what my sister has explained to her about death, if anything, so I just said I don't know.  She continued to ask questions until I finally just told her that Aunt Miranda will have a baby in a little while, we just have to wait.  Then she went right back to playing with her memory game we were working on setting up.  

Can't say that didn't sting a little bit.

BFP #1 9-15-11; EDD 5-28-12. US 6w2d, growth

BFP #2 12-6-11 and 12-7-11; EDD 8-17-12. US 6w6d measuring 5w6d. Misoprostol Assisted m/c 1-16-12 at 9w3d.

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Re: From the Mouths of Babes

  • VineyardMelVineyardMel member
    Oh, Miranda. I'm so sorry. That's so hard. They are so sweet and precious and mean the absolute best...but wow can they make it sting like no one else. I don't think my brother and SIL told their kids (6/4/2), but I'm still worried about whether or not they'll say anything at Thanksgiving because we just got married in June. Ugh. ((Hugs))
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  • RedRose84RedRose84
    I'm sorry, that does sting. :[  I had a parent conference today and the mom asked me if I had any kids.  After I said no, she asked me if I was planning on having them.  It was really hard for me not to cry, but I just smiled and finished the conference.  It totally stings!  But we will have our time to be moms...hopefully soon. :]
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  • FutureMrsDrew73110FutureMrsDrew73110 member
    I'm so sorry Miranda. Little kids are always so blunt and honest, Sometimes its a good thing and other times it's not.  I know that's hard to hear. The day before my D&C we went to tell my SIL & BIL the bad news. My niece (4) proceeds to tell everyone "Aunt Mammie has a belly baby" and we had never told her anything. We said "No, Lorna, mammie doesn't have a baby in there" It was so hard to hear knowing that there was but he/she was going to be out of there the next day. 
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    TTC OUR first
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  • msmeliss411msmeliss411 member
    I'm sorry Miranda.  I think you handled things incredibly well.
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  • FreyaWin2382FreyaWin2382 member
    I'm so sorry you were put in that position. It sounds like you handled it well, even though I am sure it hurt.
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  • mijakachmijakach member
    Aww, I'm so sorry. I can imagine that must have been a rough conversation. It must make it harder when they're so young and you just don't know how to explain it to them.
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    BFP #1 ~ EDD 5.20.2012 ~ MC 10.1.2011
    BFP #2 ~ EDD 11.15.2012 ~ CP 3.7.2012
    BFP #3 ~ DS born 12.03.2012

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  • habishophabishop
    I'm having a hard time figuring out what to tell my step son. He is 7 years old and knows that we were pregnant. We haven't mentioned the baby around him lately but he knows I had surgery. I guess if he asks we will just say something similar to what you said that the baby went bye bye and that we will have a baby again soon.
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  • lrwilson1lrwilson1
    What a rough conversation you had to go through :( worse because she was little and couldn't understand.  I'm sorry you had to do that, it really stinks :( Looks like from the board we have all had some of those recently.  I ran into a woman today I went to high school with but haven't seen in several months and she asked me if we were planning to start a family soon *groan*.  I didn't know what to say!  Do I say yes or no or we just had a miscarriage??  I finally settled on 'we are thinking about it'.  But at least I didn't have to go on trying to explain like you did.  Hang in there!!
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  • hopeful16hopeful16 member
    *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
    "Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it" 
    --Helen Keller 

    4 miscarriages: Nov 2009,  Jan 2011, Sept 2011,  Oct 2012
    IVF Round 1:
    3/4/15: Egg Retrieval
    16 Eggs Retrieved -- 15 Fertilized via ICSI -- 10 Blastocysts Biopsied for PGD & PGS -- 2 (male) Blastocysts Remain for Transfer
    5/13/15: FET -- 5/26/15: BFN
    CANCELLED IVF Round 2.

    Living a happy, child-free life with my best friend.
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  • maxsommaxsom
    Aww!  Thanks, Hopeful!  This is perfect for me.  Charlie Brown and Snoopy have always been my favorites!!  :)
    BFP #1 9-15-11; EDD 5-28-12. US 6w2d, growth

    BFP #2 12-6-11 and 12-7-11; EDD 8-17-12. US 6w6d measuring 5w6d. Misoprostol Assisted m/c 1-16-12 at 9w3d.

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