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Unable to lift toddler

cletkocletko
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

I recently am fully recovered from having vaginal prolapse surgery but for life am not able to lift more than 15-20lbs on a routine basis and my 13 month old son is 24lbs (can lift up to 40lbs in emergencies/occasionally only).I am a SAHM right now looking to go back to work part time. During my surgical recovery we hired a nanny, but it is too expensive for us to afford one permanently. We want to avoid daycare and I really would love to continue to be a SAHM part time. I wanted to know if anyone thinks it is feasible to continue to be a part time SAHM when I can't lift my little one, and/or if he will soon be big enough that it will no longer be an issue.

We have him trained to use a set of mini stairs to get on the couch for diaper changes, etc. We also have him eat at the coffee table instead of a high chair, and we have his crib rigged so I can remove the main railing and put it back on after he crawls into the crib. I am mainly concerned about him throwing tantrums and controlling them, and any other safety issues possibly involved with the lifting restrictions.

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Re: Unable to lift toddler

  • melody921melody921 member
    My DS is almost 20 months, and I still pick him up fairly regularly, so I'd think this will be tough on you. How do you get him into a carseat or stroller? What if you're somewhere with a lot of traffic and you need to pick him up to keep him safe? What if he falls and requires cuddling? I'd be worried to be alone with a LO knowing I couldn't pick him up, and I wouldn't leave him with a sitter who couldn't pick him up either.

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  • celiabwatsonceliabwatson

    I've been sort of dealing with this idea lately. I'm 34 weeks pregnant and exhausted. I'm completely allowed to lift my son, but it's uncomfortable when I do and I prefer not to. Also, I am at risk for pre-term labor so it's recommended I avoid lifting him when possible. He's a great climber and will climb in and out of his car seat, stroller and high chair by himself with no trouble (as long as I convince him that that's where he wants to be). We generally get down on the floor together to play, and when he wants cuddles I'm able to tell him to go to the couch and he'll walk in there so we can cuddle. I do still pick him up semi-regularly but if I really wasn't allowed to I think he's independent enough that I could avoid it.

    The only exception I can think of is if he falls asleep somewhere (like the car seat) and I'm alone and need to move him inside. It doesn't happen often but when it does there's not really a good alternative other than waking him up, which seems like a bad idea.

    Tantrums aren't an issue since I generally don't hold him then anyway. 

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  • bgf1bgf1 member
    I would go for the surgery if you need it.  I had surgery this summer and was on crutches and was not able to carry LO around ( he wasn't mobile yet).  It was really really hard so I can empathize with your concerns.  Not being able to lift LO really sucks, but it sounds like you have been proactive, in teaching him to use the step ladder etc...  If he falls or needs comforting are you allowed to get down to the floor to comfort him?  If so I am sure he will just crawl up onto your lap.  As for you concern about being a SAHM without being able to lift your kids I think that it will be an adjustment but you will both be OK.  There are a lot of adults with disabilities who have kids who cannot lift them.  Do you know anyone that you could ask about this?  A friend's husband became an amputee when their child was a toddler and was unable to lift him I know it was an adjustment but they managed and came up with some really neat ways to get around his inabillity to lift his son.
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  • cletkocletko
    Thank you to everyone for your great tips and advice! I definetly have some new ideas to start working with. It is nice too just to be able to talk to someone who knows what it is like to have a little one around and all the challenges that can be presented day to day. I really appreciate it! (:
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