Babies on the Brain

What does BOTB think? "judgemental non parents" debate from FB

So last night a girl I went to HS with posted this on her wall...

"I saw the grossest thing on the RTA (public transit bus) today. A mom, doing a full blow diaper change. How completely uncalled for an inappropriate. Change your kid's diaper before or after the bus but not on it."

I, of course, had to reply about not passing judgement b/c you don't know the situation. & that this mom was doing what was best for her child by changing him/her. 

The conversation snowballed from there when NIP came up. I believe the comment was, "that's why they make breast pumps and bottles b!tch."

Ha, it all ended this morning when she unfriended me after I posted on MY wall that I hated judgmental non-parents and several of my friends commented.

SO--what does BOTB think?

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Re: What does BOTB think? "judgemental non parents" debate from FB

  • I think she deserves a throat punch. 

    I would never judge someone for changing their kids diaper or NIP. Good lord.  

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  • imageKtB0605:

    I think she deserves a throat punch. 

    I would never judge someone for changing their kids diaper or NIP. Good lord.  

    This. 

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  • Oh heeellllll no. I already posted on your FB about the diaper (nicely), but if I would have known she said that about NIP I would have lost my mind. Since she defriended you and won't see it I'll save my energy. Stupid f-ing people...
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  • BOTB, you trained me well, I C&P the whole conversation last night after it took place :-)

    Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} "Well considering both of you have children in YOUR fb pic, you obvi have no life of your own. And FYI it is YOUR choice to have a child, not mine or stefanies. I do not appreciate seeing poop or hear screaming children out in public. It is uncalled for. Dumb Midwest wives, get a life and leave my BFF alone. She is justified.  Oh and I forgot, saggy boobs in public are f*cking gross, that's why they make breast pumps and bottles ***."

    Another C&P from the convo

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  • I don't judge parents because I'm not one. So, yeah. She's a moron.

    image

    CJ 05/29/2013

  • Maybe its just because I have a baby now, but I really think that a screaming baby is far more bothersome to people than NIP or whatever you need to do.
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  • imageMee83shell:

    BOTB, you trained me well, I C&P the whole conversation last night after it took place :-)

    "Well considering both of you have children in YOUR fb pic, you obvi have no life of your own. And FYI it is YOUR choice to have a child, not mine or stefanies. I do not appreciate seeing poop or hear screaming children out in public. It is uncalled for. Dumb Midwest wives, get a life and leave my BFF alone. She is justified.  Oh and I forgot, saggy boobs in public are f*cking gross, that's why they make breast pumps and bottles ***."

    Another C&P from the convo

    This person has some serious pent up anger issues.  Wow.

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  • imageMee83shell:

    "Well considering both of you have children in YOUR fb pic, you obvi have no life of your own. And FYI it is YOUR choice to have a child, not mine or stefanies. I do not appreciate seeing poop or hear screaming children out in public. It is uncalled for. Dumb Midwest wives, get a life and leave my BFF alone. She is justified.  Oh and I forgot, saggy boobs in public are f*cking gross, that's why they make breast pumps and bottles ***."

    WHOA

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  • How old are these girls?

    image

    CJ 05/29/2013

  • People are idiots, plain and simple.  If she didn't de-friend you, I would have hoped that you would have de-friended her!  If I had friends who thought like that and I knew about it, I would be ashamed to call them my friend.

    Just curious...what is her age...and her friends age?

  • imageScout2005:

    I think changing diaper and NIPing are completely different - I would personally probably wait, if at all possible, to change a diaper in a bathroom. That being said, maybe the kid was leaking through the diaper, and you do what you have to do. It wasn't a restaurant (I draw the line at changing a diaper where people are eating. You will never convince me that isn't gross and inappropriate.)Um, yes, I agree with that. Not at the table where there are adequate changing facilities available.

    I probably wouldn't blink at someone changing a diaper on a bus, but it is a little gross. And I have a kid. Right! I agree. Idk how long the woman had BEEN on the bus nor how long she was going to BE on the bus. So yes, I'd wait too unless i couldn't--then I'd change away.

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  • imageBacon+lettuce+tomato:
    How old are these girls?

    Late 20's

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  • imageTheOriginalSP:

    People are idiots, plain and simple.  If she didn't de-friend you, I would have hoped that you would have de-friended her!  If I had friends who thought like that and I knew about it, I would be ashamed to call them my friend.

    Just curious...what is her age...and her friends age?

    I was planning to do that later today after the debate was over. We weren't "friends" just aquaintances from high school.

    & we're all in our late 20's

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  • imageMee83shell:

    imageBacon+lettuce+tomato:
    How old are these girls?

    Late 20's

    Old enough for a good asss kicking from a "Midwest wife."
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  • imageMee83shell:

    imageBacon+lettuce+tomato:
    How old are these girls?

    Late 20's

    I'm slightly surprised they acted so childish. I'm still in my early/mid 20's and I wouldn't act like that. I think it's a good thing she defriended you. I'm not sure I'd want that kind of friend anyway. I don't think it's a parent vs. non-parent thing, I think it's a douchebag thing.

    image

    CJ 05/29/2013

  • imageMeg 'n' Eric:
    imageMee83shell:

    imageBacon+lettuce+tomato:
    How old are these girls?

    Late 20's

    Old enough for a good asss kicking from a "Midwest wife."

    amen sista!

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  • imageMeg 'n' Eric:
    imageMee83shell:

    imageBacon+lettuce+tomato:
    How old are these girls?

    Late 20's

    Old enough for a good asss kicking from a "Midwest wife."

    HA!  No joke.  I'll get my ass kicking shoes on.  Meg and I are taking them down!

  • imageTheOriginalSP:
    imageMeg 'n' Eric:
    imageMee83shell:

    imageBacon+lettuce+tomato:
    How old are these girls?

    Late 20's

    Old enough for a good asss kicking from a "Midwest wife."

    HA!  No joke.  I'll get my ass kicking shoes on.  Meg and I are taking them down!

    Best leave the asss kicking to me my dear pregnant friend. I'm good as Long as she doesn't kick me in my "saggy nursing boobs."
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  • imageBacon+lettuce+tomato:
    imageMee83shell:

    imageBacon+lettuce+tomato:
    How old are these girls?

    Late 20's

    I'm slightly surprised they acted so childish. I'm still in my early/mid 20's and I wouldn't act like that. I think it's a good thing she defriended you. I'm not sure I'd want that kind of friend anyway. I don't think it's a parent vs. non-parent thing, I think it's a douchebag thing.

    AGREE!

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  • imageMeg 'n' Eric:
    imageTheOriginalSP:
    imageMeg 'n' Eric:
    imageMee83shell:

    imageBacon+lettuce+tomato:
    How old are these girls?

    Late 20's

    Old enough for a good asss kicking from a "Midwest wife."

    HA!  No joke.  I'll get my ass kicking shoes on.  Meg and I are taking them down!

    Best leave the asss kicking to me my dear pregnant friend. I'm good as Long as she doesn't kick me in my "saggy nursing boobs."

    I just choked on my coffee! lol

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  • As a non-parent I can say I would be far less than pleased if someone was changing a diaper near me on the bus, especially if it was a poop diaper.  Yuck.  However, I understand there are circumstances when the diaper needs to be changed right away, or they may have waited as long as possible...whatever.  Still gross, but hey, it might be me some day.  I have absolutely no problem with NIP.
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  • imageScout2005:
    imageMee83shell:

    BOTB, you trained me well, I C&P the whole conversation last night after it took place :-)

    Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} "Well considering both of you have children in YOUR fb pic, you obvi have no life of your own. And FYI it is YOUR choice to have a child, not mine or stefanies. I do not appreciate seeing poop or hear screaming children out in public. It is uncalled for. Dumb Midwest wives, get a life and leave my BFF alone. She is justified.  Oh and I forgot, saggy boobs in public are f*cking gross, that's why they make breast pumps and bottles ***."

    Another C&P from the convo

    Well, obviously this person is an ass. I'm not sure parent vs. non-parent is even relevant. 

    I agree.

    I think as time goes by I become more and more aggravated by the "you aren't a parent you wouldn't understand" bullshiit than most though. I probably would have not even thought twice about "judging" a woman changing a diaper on public transit because it is disgusting. Necessary, perhaps, but still disgusting. Don't see that changing if I were to have a kid.  

    Just because crotch fruit have not sprung from my loins doesn't mean I'm not entitled to that opinion. Either was that chick. Granted she went off the deep end but her initial judgement isn't that outrageous.  

    Fuuck TTC - I'm moving on.
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    image
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  • This is why I'm glad that I really don't give a shiit what people think if my kid is screaming in public or if I have to change a diaper (though I do my damnedest to mitigate either situation). 
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  • Okay, on a bus, get over it.  On a table where people eat, not cool.  Yes I have seen this, and yes I almost threw up.

    She needs to get over people BFing in public.  I think you guys do need to jump her.Stick out tongue

  • I also think it is pretty gross to change a poop diaper on a public bus. There are emergencies, though, like if it were a blow out and it was all over his clothes.

    I NIP w/o a cover, so I obvs have no problem with that.  If people don't want to see my saggy boob, look somewhere else!

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  • imageMandyBrownNoser:
    imageScout2005:
    imageMee83shell:

    BOTB, you trained me well, I C&P the whole conversation last night after it took place :-)

    Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} "Well considering both of you have children in YOUR fb pic, you obvi have no life of your own. And FYI it is YOUR choice to have a child, not mine or stefanies. I do not appreciate seeing poop or hear screaming children out in public. It is uncalled for. Dumb Midwest wives, get a life and leave my BFF alone. She is justified.  Oh and I forgot, saggy boobs in public are f*cking gross, that's why they make breast pumps and bottles ***."

    Another C&P from the convo

    Well, obviously this person is an ass. I'm not sure parent vs. non-parent is even relevant. 

    I agree.

    I think as time goes by I become more and more aggravated by the "you aren't a parent you wouldn't understand" bullshiit than most though. I probably would have not even thought twice about "judging" a woman changing a diaper on public transit because it is disgusting. Necessary, perhaps, but still disgusting. Don't see that changing if I were to have a kid.  

    Just because crotch fruit have not sprung from my loins doesn't mean I'm not entitled to that opinion. Either was that chick. Granted she went off the deep end but her initial judgement isn't that outrageous.  

    I have to agree. She IS entitled to her own opinion--absolutely 100% for sure. & I did say at one point during our "convo" that I did agree that changing a diaper in public, especially on a bus, is gross BUT sometime, you have to. It's not something we LIKE doing as a parent, it's just something that you have to deal with at times.

    I felt that way before having kids & now after having them. Unfortunately, it's just the way of the world.

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  • imageMandyBrownNoser:
    imageScout2005:
    imageMee83shell:

    BOTB, you trained me well, I C&P the whole conversation last night after it took place :-)

    "Well considering both of you have children in YOUR fb pic, you obvi have no life of your own. And FYI it is YOUR choice to have a child, not mine or stefanies. I do not appreciate seeing poop or hear screaming children out in public. It is uncalled for. Dumb Midwest wives, get a life and leave my BFF alone. She is justified.  Oh and I forgot, saggy boobs in public are f*cking gross, that's why they make breast pumps and bottles ***."

    Another C&P from the convo

    Well, obviously this person is an ass. I'm not sure parent vs. non-parent is even relevant. 

    I agree.

    I think as time goes by I become more and more aggravated by the "you aren't a parent you wouldn't understand" bullshiit than most though. I probably would have not even thought twice about "judging" a woman changing a diaper on public transit because it is disgusting. Necessary, perhaps, but still disgusting. Don't see that changing if I were to have a kid.  

    Just because crotch fruit have not sprung from my loins doesn't mean I'm not entitled to that opinion. Either was that chick. Granted she went off the deep end but her initial judgement isn't that outrageous.  

    I agree with you.  Her initial judgement was something that she was entitled to no matter what.  But when she started throwing in the other stuff, that made it about parents vs non parents.

    I will say, even being a parent there are things that I do not find acceptable.  For example:  when friend change their kids diapers on my floor or on my cough with no changing pad!!!!!  I find that to be very gross and it makes me want to smack them. 

  • imageMelaneigh1:
    As a non-parent I can say I would be far less than pleased if someone was changing a diaper near me on the bus, especially if it was a poop diaper.  Yuck.  However, I understand there are circumstances when the diaper needs to be changed right away, or they may have waited as long as possible...whatever.  Still gross, but hey, it might be me some day.  I have absolutely no problem with NIP.

     Right. This is 100% what I said to them last night. I agree that it's not ideal BUT sometimes ya have to.

    I can't leave B in a poopy diaper for long or his bum is just RAW & then he'll be screaming & miserable. Better just to change the diaper and move on.

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  • Holy Sh**balls! I would have freaked out on her!

    I have changed my sons diaper in public - sometimes you just don't have a choice. Granted, the only times I can remember doing it were in the backseat of my car but it was still visible if anyone peaked in my windows. You gotta do what you gotta do.

    And for the record I will whip out my saggy boobies whenever I damn well please. If my kid is hungry then he is going to get fed. End of discussion.  

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  • Your (former) FB friend is a biitch.  Changing a diaper in on the bus is kind of gross, but maybe the baby had a blow out.  That NIP comment makes me stabby.

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  • I would have to biotch slap here. I mean come on...my kids don't want to sit in their own *** and if i have no other choice (hello, who knows how long the ride was) then I am changing them. If we are somewhere and there is nowhere for me to change them, then I just go to the car. (restaurant for example, not everyone has a changing table) This girl was on a bus....people need to give others a break and not worry about omg, she's changing/BFing. Babies don't wait for food nor like I said, want to sit in a wet/poopy diaper.
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  • And I think it's time I take another nest break. 
    Fuuck TTC - I'm moving on.
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  • imageSookieFrackhouse68:
    I hope when she has kids, the kid shiits all over her on the RTA and then some non-parent biitch judges the fvck out of her on FB.

    Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} I hope that one day you ARE a breast feeding mother & that your child has a massive blowout in public & you are forced to change a diaper in front of the world. & when that happens, I hope & pray that you remember what a selfish person you used to be. Being a mother forces you to think about yourself LAST. There is nothing more wonderful than the gift of a child.

    That's what I said to her last night! You & I think a lot alike lol

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  • imageEmie28:

    I also think it is pretty gross to change a poop diaper on a public bus. There are emergencies, though, like if it were a blow out and it was all over his clothes.

    I NIP w/o a cover, so I obvs have no problem with that.  If people don't want to see my saggy boob, look somewhere else!

    What she said. Also, I see far more boob from people who are "dressed" and not nursing than I ever see from women NIP. also, I don't think it's a parent/nonparent thing. It's an asswipe/non asswipe thing. 
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  • imageScout2005:

    I do want to reiterate that I don't see how NIPing and changing a diaper on a bus got roped into the same conversation. One I have no issue with. The other...frankly, I think it's gross to change a diaper on a bus, unless we're talking dire, dire emergency. And in that case - it's still gross, it's just also unavoidable.

    I don't blame someone for not wanting my kid's excrement right next to them. I don't want THEIR kid's excrement next to me, so it goes both ways. 

    It was stupid to put that on FB in the first place, because it's stupid to be THAT bothered by it, but eh. FB is where stupid goes to flourish. 

    NIPing is a non-issue and people need to just get the hell over it. And I don't think, again, being a parent has anything to do with that. I FF, and I feel that way now and did before DD arrived.

    Yeah, Idk how NIP got roped into a conversation about changing a diaper. 

    & i totally agree-gross, but sometimes unavoidable. Doesn't make it any LESS disgusting but life goes on :-)

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  • imagegreenclown:
    imageEmie28:

    I also think it is pretty gross to change a poop diaper on a public bus. There are emergencies, though, like if it were a blow out and it was all over his clothes.

    I NIP w/o a cover, so I obvs have no problem with that.  If people don't want to see my saggy boob, look somewhere else!

    What she said. Also, I see far more boob from people who are "dressed" and not nursing than I ever see from women NIP. also, I don't think it's a parent/nonparent thing. It's an asswipe/non asswipe thing. 

    I started to bring this up last night & then got distracted & forgot. But you're 100% right. Her argument would probably have been " but those boobs aren't saggy" lol

    & yes definitely asswipe/non-asswipe thing! FOR SURE!

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  • imageMandyBrownNoser:
    And I think it's time I take another nest break. 

    Oh gosh, I hope I didn't offend you at all!!!!

    Now I'm sad :( b/c I didn't mean to piss anyone off...just wanted to share a fb crazy story/debate :(

    CafeMom TickersCafeMom Tickers
    1/1 Spotting, 1/3 beta 36,000, 1/5 u/s empty sac measuring 7w (9w5d), 1/6 d&c
    You will always be loved & missed our sweet angel.
  • I am a mom and there is no extreme emergency with a diaper change.  Come on it is a bus ride. The diaper could have waited until the next stop.  Poop or not.  There is no reason to expose a kid on a bus with a bunch of wack-a-doos. Exposing people to poop is nasty too.  I don't think I have ever changed A out in the open.  There are bathrooms everywhere. 

    As far as the NIP.  I think the chick was looking to cut below the line, because she is butt hurt.  

    image
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