When your dc gets in trouble...do they do this?

Mrs Manners · October 2011

Whenever I get onto ds for anything, he's constantly trying to "gauge" my feelings. If I put him into timeout or correct his behavior then he spends the next few minutes saying, "Mama, are you happy?" "Are you sad?" "Are you angry?" "Are you scared?" "Mama...what ARE you?". He does this over and over. If a answer anything other than happy, he starts crying/whining and saying, "Mama, be happy!".

I typically say something like "I'm happy when you are a good listener? Are you being a good listener?" but this never works.

How do I address this?

KathrynMD · October 2011

LOL - they are so funny.

DD doesn't do this, but I think I would be honest and say "I'm a little grumpy right now b/c you weren't listening when I asked you to ____, but I think I'll be happy when you ____"

MrsLeanna · October 2011

DD does this too and she gets upset if I say I'm anything other than happy. I usually ask her to apologize and give me a hug and then tell I her I'm happy again. But I tell her I'm upset because of whatever she did that upset me so she understands that her behavior has consequences.

June2007 · October 2011

What do you mean 'this never works'? Are you trying to get him to stop crying/whining during time out by answering him? DD would pull stuff like that during time out and I would say "you cant talk for __ minutes. We will talk when you're dOne with time out" then I ignore her until time is up. Then I would talk to her about feelings. For my DD she was very into feelings and was delaying her time outs by chatting.

Mrs Manners · October 2011

June2007:
What do you mean 'this never works'? Are you trying to get him to stop crying/whining during time out by answering him? DD would pull stuff like that during time out and I would say "you cant talk for __ minutes. We will talk when you're dOne with time out" then I ignore her until time is up. Then I would talk to her about feelings. For my DD she was very into feelings and was delaying her time outs by chatting.

Sorry...I should have been more clear. He's quiet and sits out his timeout. This happens AFTER the timeout or correction is over.

DragonflyBelle · October 2011

KathrynMD:
LOL - they are so funny.

DD doesn't do this, but I think I would be honest and say "I'm a little grumpy right now b/c you weren't listening when I asked you to ____, but I think I'll be happy when you ____"

I agree with this. DD does not do this, but I am getting the "I'm not your FRIEND!" sass-back when I scold her or put her in time out.

treble_clef · October 2011

I think my son does a similar thing. After his timeout or when I'm done talking to him, he says, "I want you to smile... I like your smiley face..." I tell him it's not about me. If he wants me to smile, he has to have good behavior. I don't smile when he behaves badly. It's really cute, though:)

franciscaz · October 2011

Yup. Harmon does it. He especially wants reinforcement that I still love him. I will tell him, "Harmon you are a good boy and I will always love you but when you "hit" that is bad and that is why you have to go for time out. BUT I love you!!!"

pea-kay · October 2011

That's so funny! Miles (in particular) does this to me. If I get mad, they'll all ask "Mommy, are you mad?" and I'll say yes, or "no, I'm just irritated" or frustrated or whatever.

But Miles is always saying, "Mommy, be happy!" which helps.

FortMyersBride · October 2011

Yep, DS does that exact same thing! If he gets in trouble, he just asks over and over "Mommy, are you happy?" and gets very upset if I say anything other than yes. He will keep checking in with me and trying to do/say things until I say I'm happy. I guess it's nice that he cares about my happiness.

VTbride05 · October 2011

Yesterday in the car I heard "I am so sorry Mommy but I peed a little in my carseat but DONT be frustrated".

June2007 · October 2011

Mrs Manners:
June2007:
What do you mean 'this never works'? Are you trying to get him to stop crying/whining during time out by answering him? DD would pull stuff like that during time out and I would say "you cant talk for __ minutes. We will talk when you're dOne with time out" then I ignore her until time is up. Then I would talk to her about feelings. For my DD she was very into feelings and was delaying her time outs by chatting.

Sorry...I should have been more clear. He's quiet and sits out his timeout. This happens AFTER the timeout or correction is over.

Oh that makes more sense. DD was over emotional like that for a phase, it was quite annoying. Tongue Tied I guess she out grew it or got over it but I would just say over and over "I love you very much but when you act like it makes me grumpy. Now that you're being nice I'm happy again!" If she kept whining/crying I would tell her that we could talk when she could use her big girl voice because I couldnt understand her, then leave her by herself or tell her she could go spend alone time in her room until she calmed down.

Mrs Manners · October 2011

Thanks ladies. I just thought this was such an odd thing for him to do and he's been at it for months. We get the funniest looks if I correct him in public and he immediately starts quizzing me on my feelings. I handle the corrections quietly and calmly so it's not like I'm acting angry or annoyed or anything.

Want a personalized experience?

When your dc gets in trouble...do they do this?

Re: When your dc gets in trouble...do they do this?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards