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2nd Trimester
The Ol' Breastfeed vs Bottle feed debate...or something
Does everyone plan to breastfeed? I'd love to learn the perspectives of others on their feeding rationale. This is my first (and last) pregnancy, and I am likely going to bottle feed...still would like some good food for thought - I am not completely inflexible in my thinking. Thanks!
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Re: The Ol' Breastfeed vs Bottle feed debate...or something
I plan on breastfeeding for as long as possible (my cousins have had a lot of problems with their milk ducts, I hope I don't!!) but our child will have to be in daycare when I go back to work so we're going to do a little bit of bottled breast milk feeding as well.
Bottom line: any medical problems aside, when the baby is with me, s/he will be exclusively breastfed.
Let me preface this by saying, it is entirely your decision. I will not judge either way. I've been on both sides and I like to think I understand both sides.
With my first, I went into it thinking I would bottle feed. I had a job that wouldn't let me pump so I knew I would switch eventually anyway. After doing research, I decided the health benefits in the first few weeks were worth it to me to try.
I loved it. I loved the bonding, I loved the feeling that I could provide something to him that nobody else could. I ended up BFing for 7 months. Once I went back to work I formula fed during the day and BFed at night.
This time around, my goal is to never give formula. It's funny how my perspecitve has changed so much.
Your child won't grow 2 heads if you bottle feed, but statistically breast milk has health advantages over formula.
It is very hard and pretty painful for the first month or so, but I wouldn't have traded my BF for anything. I work and pumped for 13 months and being able to do that for him helped me overcome the "I'm such a bad mother for leaving my baby" feelings that some working mother's experience.
When I got home I would nurse him and I nursed him at night as well (about 15 months). That time was extra sweet because it was our cuddle time that we both looked forward too. He wouldn't cuddle otherwise. He never cried during the night for more than the 60 seconds it took me to get him out of bed and stick a boob in his mouth ;p (WARNING: NOT ALL CHILDREN ARE THIS LAID BACK). I'm not saying mother's can't bond and cuddle without the boob, but it made it easier for me plus I used it as an excuse to be a baby HOG.
I will be breastfeeding again. I did with my first 2 and plan to for this one as well, for at least 18 months again.
Like pp have said, I would never judge anyone because it is a very personal decision. For me, the benefits are well worth it. My kids are rarely sick, especially DD who I just weaned in July. She has never had an ear infection, stomach bug, cough, etc...never more than a runny nose
I actually looking forward to BFing this one!
I never had any doubt that I would breastfeed - it's natural, free, and I can't ever forget my boobs at home when we're out and about
I plan to exclusively BF while on maternity leave, and pump to stockpile milk for when LO goes to daycare. I want to BF until 6mo, and hopefully have a good amount frozen so he gets some breastmilk after that as well. We will see how it goes, I'll try not to get disappointed in myself if we don't make it to 6 mo, and I'm not ruling out BF longer than that either.
If you're not liking the idea of having a baby at your boob every 1.5/2 hrs, you could still pump some, and bottle feed the baby. Everything I've read has said that even some breastmilk is better than none. I think it's worth a try. Your boobs will make the milk anyways, so why not use it? If you don't like it after a few weeks so whatever your cut-off mark would be, then you can always stop and switch.
Married April 1st 2017
DS #1: May 2009
DS #2: Jan 2012
I'll breast feed and pump for as long as I can. I made it 11 months last time when the goal was a year. We added in formula for a couple months after that.
I don't get the whole debate, feed your baby that's what important, who cares if it come from you or a can.
I planned to BF DD#1, but developed mastitis twice in 3 weeks and gave up. I plan to try again with this one, but know that I may have to change plans.
I noticed a couple of comments where women said they could not breastfeed at work/were not allowed. I hope everyone knows that per federal law: "[your employer must] provide reasonable break time and a private, non-bathroom place for nursing mothers to express breast milk during the workday, for one year after the child?s birth." It is not an option and if you choose to bf, you have the right.
I will definitely breastfeed. With DS, I breastfed/pumped for about 7 months. I would have liked to go longer but I had to start traveling for work again and it got really stressful (which also caused my supply to go down). Honestly I wasn't one of those who just really loved breastfeeding (and especially did not love pumping 3 times a day at work!), but it definitely was convenient and cheap, in addition to the health benefits. With the next child, I hope to go a little longer - maybe 9 months to a year.
Just do what works best for you and your situation. I feel like there is a lot of pressure now to exclusively breastfeed for a year, but that is just not possible or feasable for everyone.
My plan is to exclusively feed the twins breast milk, and I would like to try to exclusively BF for the first 2-4 weeks and then start a schedule where I BF one while H bottle feeds the other breast milk (then we'll switch babies the next time). I have to go back to work after 12 weeks (if not sooner, depending on finances), so I want to make sure that they're used to a bottle at that point and I hope to get up enough of a storage to be able to get away with pumping 2-3 times a day while at work and still have enough for them both. For me, not only are there health benefits for me and the baby, but financially speaking buying formula for twins would be a huge expense.
Although that's my plan, I certainly don't judge people for using formula. My sister's milk supply is awful (even after taking fenugreek, drinking Mother's Milk tea, trying to express, trying to pump, etc.), so even though she EBF for two weeks, she had to start supplementing because he wasn't gaining weight. If I have to supplement or use formula exclusively, I'll do so without feeling guilty. Even though I think BM has more health benefits, I think formula is a great option and don't fault people who don't want to try breastfeeding.
I think it's really hard to say what you're going to do when you don't have a baby here yet. A lot of moms have good intentions when it comes to BF (especially if this is their first baby), but it won't work out in the end, and they have NO idea yet how hard it can be. And a lot of moms will change their mind once the baby is born, give BF a shot, and love it. I don't think it's predictable, and you just have to go with what works at the time.
My advice, give it a shot once the baby arrives. If you like it and it works, do it. If you don't, then don't. If you only last 3 weeks, that's great. If you don't do it at all, that's great too. My son was mostly FF, and he's the perfect sign of health.
It is absolutely a personal decision and one I am currently struggling with.
I had a horrible time getting started with DS #1 and about gave up but ended up getting the hang of it and BF for a year which worked out for us. BF'ing is not easy. I had several bouts of mastitis which is extremely painful, and had to use a shield for a while because of damage from a bad latch (early on). DS did get every allergy I have, plus some, even though BF'ing is supposed to help with that and he also has asthma like I do. I had to be put on additional allergy meds while pregnant and the doctor said that is what probably caused him to be so allergic but it still disappointed me greatly to know I had struggled with BF'ing, stuck with it so that he had a chance of not getting my allergies/asthma and it didn't "work".
BF also takes a lot of time which I hadn't accounted for. I was able, last time, to pump at work with no issues, etc and while it is your right to be able to do so, my job duties have gotten significantly more demanding to where I know, this time, I won't be able to pump as I feel I need to. Yes, I lost weight, bonded with baby, he's not overly sick, etc. and I'm happy that I was able to provide something for DS that no one else could.
NOW, I "think" I've decided to FF this time mainly because I want DH to be more involved in feedings and it absolutely exhausted me last time. With my work schedule, keeping up with DS1 and school, etc., I think it's the better decision for me and my family. Like you, I feel like everyone BF's and that people will look down on me for FFing but I believe I will be a happier, more relaxed mommy if I am able to FF so that is best for my family especially since DS #1 is there and requires my attention. All being said, I MAY (stress may) attempt a few weeks while I'm at home on maternity leave but I will most likely switch quickly to FF.
Shew..that ended up long....Sorry! Good luck with your decision!
I went into having DS with the mentality that breastfeeding was the ONLY way to go. I convinced DH that it was gods gift, blah blah. Fast forward to DS 1 month old and in the hospital on an iv from severe dehydration. I was SO convinced I had to breast feed that I was starving my child and thought he was just a really fussy kid and a bad sleeper.
My point is, make a plan of course... but know it just does not work for everyone. I worked my butt off to exclusively breastfeed but the combination of DS being a lazy nurser and my poor milk production, it was just not going happen. I tried to continue pumping but it took me an hour and a half to get 4 ounces... torture!
DS is now 2 and a half and the smartest, healthiest kid I know (literally he knew his abc's at 18 months old!) So, formula is NOT the devil, there have been many advances in it and as long as you buy a quality brand with DHA and ARA your baby will be just as healthy as a breast fed one.
Point being... either way is fine in my opinion.
I have nothing against formul-feeding. If you are feeding your baby a good, nutritious meal, then you're doing a good thing.
For me, breastfeeding was just easier. In the beginning it is super hard because you're both learning how to do it, your nipples hurt, and it's very time consuming. However, once the baby starts eating less frequently, and you get into a rhythm, it gets a LOT easier. I nursed for 14 1/2 months, and I wasn't even sure if I would make it to 6. But, after we got through the beginning, I literally would just lift up my shirt and let her do the work. It was actually quite relaxing because she was happy and I could just sit there with my feet up for a few minutes.
The longer you go, the easier it is.
It's basically free (I wasn't able to pump, so it was really free for me), and it's a GREAT "off" button for when your child is crying. I put my daughter to the breast after she got her shots, if she got hurt, if she got scared, if I needed to get her to calm down, etc. It was great.
As much as I was ready for her to wean, I do miss the closeness. Toward the end, it was the only way I could get her to sit still and let me hold her close.
I also miss the "off" button that I mentioned..lol
I will respond to this since I made a comment that might have led to this. I COULD have pumped at work. However, at the time I was at a different client every week and I did not want to have to work with a new location each time to figure out when/where to pump. Asking (usually) male clients how to make it happen was not something I was interested in.
I BF both girls for 12.5 mo. and hope to do the same with our son. I actually found BFing easy. It's convenient and cheap. I'd much rather roll out of bed, offer a breast, and then go back to bed 15 min later than go into the kitchen, turn on lights, make a bottle, then go feed DS before getting to go back to bed. As others mentioned, its great being able to offer nursing other times when needed. I didn't have to worry about bringing enough bottles, etc. And although formula is fine, it's never going to top what's available naturally. Formula companies are trying to mimic breast milk but from what I've read, there are hundreds of compounds in BM that vary with the age of the child and whether fore or hind milk that's going to be next to impossible for one formula to mimic it exactly.
I work full-time and will again pump 2x a day when back at work so DS will still get BM when I'm not around. Assuming DS and I have no issues with Bfing this time, I plan to BF for another year again.
DD #1 passed away in January 2011 at 14 days old due to congenital heart disease
DD#2 lost in January 2012 at 23 weeks due to anhydramnios caused by a placental abruption
Originally I was sure I was going to FF, and got very defensive about some people getting judgy over it. Now, I'm thinking that I might give BF a try, at least while I'm on maternity leave.
Not sure why I'm starting to change my mind. It could be peer pressure, or the selfish thought of losing weight faster while BFing. I think I'm one of those that's going to have to wait and see what happens when LO gets here.
This is hugely a personal decision. I dont' judge others for their choices.
However, breastfeeding is the choice for us. I nursed DS a year and hope to reach at least 18 moths this time. The benefits to baby and me are huge, and the cost is a big factor. I always found it esay and convenient as well. I am lazy and cleaning bottles, preparing formula etc is just not appealing to me. I was always comfortable nursing in public, in bed at night etc so it was an easy choice for us.
In order for this to happen at my office we would have to move to a different location... We have ONE room with one bathroom. We don't even have cubes or half walls... just open space. There is nowhere except a TINY bathroom.
This is only true if you work for a company that falls under FMLA rules, which many small companies do not, including mine. We have no maternity requirement either.
breast... this is my 5th and all have had breastmilk... either pumped or nursed
Lucky friends. I lost my baby weight, but it wasn't until DD was 11 months or so. And then I got pregnant again. Figures. lol
Yep. My post below explains my situation... It was easy for me to decide bottle. I have nowhere to pump and my "company" is 4 people. I am lucky the boss does give PTO for maternity but that is his choice. They can't up and move so I have somewhere to pump.
I suppose I could BF and pump for a few weeks, but to me that is just not worth the pain and frustration (and cost of the pump) knowing it won't be possible for more than those few weeks.
I plan on breastfeeding again, but it probably will not be for much longer than my maternity leave. My work is not a good environment for pumping. I figure some breast milk is better than none.
I will add that once I switched to bottle feeding with DD, my life was so much easier. That sounds terrible, but if were not for the benefits to the baby, I probably would not bf at all.
I would also just like to add that breastfeeding did not really help me lose the baby weight like many people say. Also, even when my DS was exclusively breastfed, he did get sick several times. He goes to daycare and I think it's unavoidable for them to not catch what's going around.
I still think breastfeeding has many benefits and I am going to do it again, I just wanted to throw it out there that it is a little different for everyone