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April 2012 Moms
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Religion - looking for advice, kinda long...

MsCat19MsCat19 member
in April 2012 Moms
My DD had a unique opportunity for a child - she chose her own religion.  I was raised Roman Catholic, my ex Jewish but neither of us practiced.  DD went to temple with one grandma, church with the other... she chose to be christened last year and will be getting her communion this year.  I do not practice, and neither does DH - he was kind of raised Roman Catholic.  I have some fundamental differences in what I consider to be vital points with the church.  That being said, there is something amazing about the sense of community you get from being a member... I don't know what to do with this baby - do I go ahead with the Christening and just go that route and teach the baby the same things I have taught my daughter as far as the things I feel differently about?  I just don't know what to do... I know DH will respect my decision either way, but would prefer that I stayed away from church... I just don't know what to do!  Any advice?
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Re: Religion - looking for advice, kinda long...

  • mertensemertense member
    DD goes to church with me when I go. I haven't found a church I'm comfortable with here yet. She hasn't been baptized yet and it is a point of contention between dh and I. He was raised Catholic and has been turned off from religion due to the issues within the church. I was rasied Lutheran and loved the church I grew up in and would do anything to live close enough to attend it. I would follow what you believe and think is right. You can look at attending a different church if you think it would better suit your beliefs. Your dd would probably enjoy you attending church with her.
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  • eav2ceav2c member

    I have been back and forth in the church myself. Raised Roman Catholic... I feel my faith has tested me a lot through the years but I do plan on raising my LO as a Christian. I like that you allowed your LO to make her own decision. I think that says a lot about you as a parent... I think maybe making the same decision for LO #2 would be good. Giving them the option makes their personal thoughts and beliefs more valid. Likewise, you are not wanting to be apart of the church... So, I feel that's all you can do, is give this LO an option and go from there.

    GL... I commend you on your decision, actually. As I said, I think that says a lot about you allowing your LO to make decisions. My parents and many others, just threw me into it. My parents were both of different religions and I was very sad and torn within the church and never found my place. I'm just now finding it... I wish my parents would have been more open.

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  • MarxieVonTrappMarxieVonTrapp member
    I'm a Roman Catholic (lapsed) and have very strong feelings about the stance of the Church in many, many ways.  As a result, I plan on christening my child in the Episcopal church, which is similar enough that it won't be strange for me, but welcoming that DH and I--and our child--will always be welcome.

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  • dixee.deluxedixee.deluxe

    I'm Agnostic (raised Catholic).  I have real issues with all religions especially the Catholic Chruch.

    My family is Catholic.

    My mother really wanted DD baptized.  As you know, if you are a sponsor (parent) and you baptize your child, you have to take an oath that you will raise that child Catholic. I couldn't WOULDN'T make that promise.  So, I let my mom stand in as the sponsor and act where the parent normally would.

    The point is, remember that if you are taking that oath, you are promising that you will raise your child with the values held by the Catholic Church.  That also includes the ones I consider questionable (views on abortion, homosexuality, and womens issues in general).  I could have taken that oath and lied.  But I think it cheapens it for the people who take that oath and mean it.

    Maybe that will help you make your decision? 

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  • CourtneyM09CourtneyM09
    I was raised Catholic and my husband Baptist, but neither of us are strong believers or into organized religion. I did not get my daughter christened, and feel like down the road she can choose what she wants in that department. She does attend church and Sunday school on most Sundays with my inlaws, so I feel like she is getting some religious education, which I do think is healthy so she can make a decision when she is older. If my in laws weren't taking her, I would probably do so for that reason. I don't want my beliefs to influence her, I feel strongly that she should explore religion and come to her own decisions in that area.
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  • Mjmksb04Mjmksb04 member
    If you don't practice, personally I don't see the need to get either child involved or christened with the church and let them make the decision on their own once they are old enough. I have never understood doing the whole church thing if it isn't something you truly believe and practice.
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  • KDeolaKDeola member
    This is such a difficult topic for me.  MH and I have some painful discussions about it.  He is Catholic, but doesn't really practice.  I was raised in a very strict religion that many outsiders now use the term "cult" to describe.  I left the religion at 25 years old and my parents followed shortly thereafter. Needless to say, I have some issues.  I'm pretty opposed to organized religion, but do feel that I have a strong faith in God.  That being said, I'd like to raise LO with a love for God and good strong morals.  DH believes a child needs the structure of a relgion.  He is open to exploring religions with me to find one we both like, but I have no desire to do that.  I also feel like it would be ok to raise the baby Catholic, since that is his and his family's religion.  His family knows nothing about my background - I think they assume I'm Catholic - and I'd rather not have to explain it to them. But like a pp said, I don't know if I can stand up there and take that oath, I feel like I would be lying and that is horrible. I also don't think I could stand by all of the teachings of the church, nor do I wish to attend.  UGH!
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  • MsCat19MsCat19 member
    Thank you all for your thoughtful advice - I sure do have a lot to think about and talk with DH about... I really appreciate it!
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  • mystiandcaseymystiandcasey member
    I feel like as long as you raise him or her to be a Christian, the denomination really isn't too important.  I would definitely go to church.  Try out different ones and see where you feel more at home.  Then he or she can decide if they want to be something specific when they are older.  The rest of my family didn't go, but I just always felt close to God and wanted to go so I went by myself growing up.  DH and I tried out Baptist and Methodist churches, then decided on one that is nondenominational and just a little more laid back and upbeat.  As long as you encourage a relationship with God, that is what matters.
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