March 2012 Moms

It may be a stupid question, but humor me please :)

Sorry in advance for the length ... I'm a self-admitted rambler Huh?

Okay, so apparantly I've reached that point where worrying about the unknown will keep me up for hours on end at night ... and I am hoping that some of you can help educate me on the unknown and alleviate my fears.

Some background:

When I had my daughter (16 years ago) I was only 20, clueless and trusted the doctor/nurses implicitly, so when they assured me three times that my water had not broken, to go home and not come back until I was certain I was dying because of the pain, I did just that. I returned to the hospital about 30 hours later after my father found me in the morning curled in a fetal position on the kitchen floor-- I don't even remember how I ended up on the floor, I was just in so much pain I was literally out of my mind.

Anyway, I went to the hospital and had to have an emergency c-section because my daughter's heartrate was so low and then seemed to stop. It turned out that my water had broken, as I had thought, and I had an infection in my uterus, my liver was no longer functioning properly and dd was in serious distress.

All worked out fine, and I have learned to follow my instinct and fight to be heard, however I am worried about one thing with this pregnancy ...

My doctor has told me that I can go either way--c-section or vbac ... here is the fear that is keeping me up at night. I have no idea what the damage/healing is like following a vaginal birth. My husband and I have always had a very healthy sex life that I thoroughly enjoy Embarrassed (I cannot believe I am talking about this and asking questions ... but I need to know...) I am one of those women who is blessed with easy orgasms (tmi, I know ... sorry Embarrassed ) and wonder, no WORRY, that having a vaginal birth may change that.

I realize I am a 36 year old woman in the modern world and some of you may think this is a completely assinine question (I'm sure there are fewer here than on the Tri-boards which is why I'm asking my fellow March Mommas Wink ) but, really ... does it change the way things feel, etc. after the healing of a vaginal birth? Or will I be back to my same old self?

I literally woke up at 3 am this morning worrying about this ... and then I had to wake my husband up at 5 to ask him what he thought ... of course he was clueless but thanked me for giving him something to worry about as well Confused LOL

Thanks in advance for all your help Smile

Re: It may be a stupid question, but humor me please :)

  • It all goes back just the way it was :-) You will be fine :-)
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  • I just skimmed your post, but hit on some of the highlights that seemed to be the major points. I had a 3rd degree episiotomy with my vaginal birth. I do feel like it changed my vagina some, the part where I was stitched isn't as stretchy anymore, if that makes sense? Ultimately though, everything still feels fine. I'm also blessed with easy orgasms and they still come just as easily for me. 

    On the flip side, in June I had my gallbladder out. I felt terrible, my whole abdomen hurt and any kind of moving sent pain through my body. I imagined a c section to feel the same way and I thought, man I'm avoiding that at all costs!

  • The healing can take awhile and the first few times can be anything but enjoyable because of the pain or fear of pain, but you should eventually be back to normal.
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  • I don't have any personal experience, as I've only had c/s, but my friends who have had vaginal deliveries all report that things have returned to normal.  You can also do Kegel exercises, which work to strengthen your vaginal muscles, making vaginal deliveries easier and help you "get back in shape" afterwards.

    Yes, there are other things that would be better to worry about at 3am, but that doesn't mean it isn't a legitimate concern/something to think about.  

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  • You 100% recover from a vaginal birth - I had a huge tear even and everything is back to normal.  Rest peacefully my friend Smile
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  •  It did take several months for it to feel good again, but it did get completely back to normal, and I had very bad tearing.  

    Now if only sex could stay as good as 2nd trimester sex, I'd be one happy lady!  DH basically can look at me and I'm good to go.  

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  • imagenamcgee:
    The healing can take awhile and the first few times can be anything but enjoyable because of the pain or fear of pain, but you should eventually be back to normal.

    This exactly. It all goes back to normal, it may take a little while, but you'll get there. But then again, I'm completely terrified of a c-section and going to do anything to avoid it, so take my advice with a grain of salt.

  • <Huge sigh of relief> Thank you so much ladies Smile I figured it must go back to normal ... but how the heck am I supposed to know how much everything stretches out or how elastic it all is down there ... I don't know what I'll decide to do ultimately, but this definitely reassures me on this fear!
  • imagenonasimonsen:

    My 32 year old friends didnt heal as fast or as well as I did and took a year to have sex again with her DH (it took me 4 weeks). 

    Yay for you ... boo for her! I cannot imagine a whole year ... Tongue Tied

  • imagekmhunt11:

    Now if only sex could stay as good as 2nd trimester sex, I'd be one happy lady!  DH basically can look at me and I'm good to go.  

    Agreed! Wink

  • IT ALL RETURNS TO NORMALYes
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  • Everything returns to normal.  I don't know if I agree with the age thing though.  I was 30 when DD was born (my 1st child), had an almost 4th degree tear (big 9 pounder) and was ready and able to enjoy sex after I was cleared at 6 weeks. 
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  • imageLisichka:

    imagenamcgee:
    The healing can take awhile and the first few times can be anything but enjoyable because of the pain or fear of pain, but you should eventually be back to normal.

    This exactly. It all goes back to normal, it may take a little while, but you'll get there. But then again, I'm completely terrified of a c-section and going to do anything to avoid it, so take my advice with a grain of salt.

    This times a million for me. The first time it was a little painful, and then after that I think it was more nerves than anything else. It goes back to normal. It may not be as frequent as DH may like, but it definitely heals itself. When being stitched up, I almost made a crack about making sure it was good and tight, but the local they put there didn't take so I just didn't have the heart...

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  • It all goes back just fine! IMO, the PP poops were worse than sex the first few times PP! (And we broke the rules and had sex the first time only 3 weeks after delivery... everything was fine.) I had a 2nd degree tear, and agree with the poster who said that the skin seems less 'stretchy' there- it's from scar tissue. But all the same, internally the feeling is right where it should be. If you have the energy for it, you can still have a great sex life after baby. Wink
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