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very sad

karebear57karebear57 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

I was pregnant with my 4th child and had no problems with my other 3 pregnancies. I went for an u/s  11days ago and they couldn't find her heartbeat. I was 25 wks along and the doc. thought she might have passed about 2 wks earlier.The doc. said it was an inflamed placenta that caused her death. I went for induction a few hrs. later and Brianna was born at 0255 sat.morning Oct.8. She was 1lb5oz and 11in. I have 3 boys that I love so very much. This was going to be my little girl that I've always wanted. I just can't stop thinking about her, what I'll be missing out on from routine baby firsts to the special firsts when she gets older like her first bf and kiss to marriage and her own kids. And what if I don't get a chance to have a baby girl again? This was going to be our last one since the boys are 8,9,and 10 yrs old. So I'm pretty sure my hubby will only want 1 more child then be done no matter if its a boy or girl. And what if something like this happens again? I just feel like I'm such a failure. Some may miss being preg after they have a child but you miss it so much more when you have to stop mid-way thru a pregnancy. I haven't been back to work yet I told them I'll be back nov.1st but I feel real bad about that and I think I should go back sooner. My hubby thought I was only going to be off 2wks but I decided on 3wks and so now I also feel guilty for that too. I think I'm going to lose my mind soon, I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm just so lost...

Tim 12/30/00 Brad 4/30/02 Alex 9/29/03 Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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Re: very sad

  • jerseyleojerseyleo
    I am so sorry for your loss. I feel guilty too when missing work but it's not fair to be there if you can't give your 100%. Just take the time for yourself that you need. You are in my t&P.
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  • TA110980TA110980 member
    Words cannot express how sorry I am for your loss.  Take the time that you need away from work.  If you're feeling ready before the 1st, you can always go back sooner.  But do what's best for you.  
    image
    BFP#1 - 09/12/11, EDD 5/18/12 - Stopped growing at 6w3d, m/c induced 10/14/11
    BFP#2 - 04/01/12, EDD 12/12/12, Arrived 12/4/12!!
    BFP#3 - 12/31/13, EDD 09/10/14 - Grow baby, grow!

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  • VineyardMelVineyardMel member
    Oh, I am so very, very sorry for your loss. I don't have words that can make it better, but just wanted to tell you that you'll be in my thoughts and prayers as you survive the loss of your sweet daughter. And I don't know you, but I can tell from your message that you WILL survive. ((Hugs))
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    Married my love 6/11/11 | MMC 10/11/11 | Eliza Frances born 9/18/12 | Rhett Garland born 2/24/14 

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  • BenzGrlBenzGrl

    I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girl. Huge hugs to you. Don't beat yourself up about not going back to work yet. You need time to grieve. I know it's easy to feel like you failed your baby, but this wasn't your fault. I hope you can find some support on this board and that your husband will be there for you during this difficult time.

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  • traciec84traciec84 member
    So, so sorry about Brianna.  You have to remember that nothing about it was your fault.  Take the time that you need to grieve and do what's best for you.  No one knows what the future holds, just do the best you can and take it one day at a time.  I know you must be hurting so much right now. Praying for you.
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