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Stay at Home Moms
susanmosley
member
Alright, I wasn't going to but I changed my mind
susanmosley
member
So there is a post on the WMs board (some regulars here have already replied to, as have I) about the nanny falling asleep while home with the child (who was taking a nap). The strong majority seems to think this mom is nuts for being bothered that the 19 year old-been working for them for 4 weeks-girl fell asleep on the job.
I'm not talking about a family member sitter, or a late night sitter when the kids are in bed for the night. I'm talking about the paid gal who takes care of your child. Do you think it is a-ok for her to sleep on the job? Maybe I am just really uptight - and that is just fine - but I don't think my hired babysitter should be sleeping at work.
Thoughts?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Alright, I wasn't going to but I changed my mind
I read that. She was reading and fell asleep while the baby was napping. I can't imagine that I would care at all.
I have sitters at night who have fallen asleep. It doesn't bother me. I have fallen asleep babysitting before. If the sitter was done with any chores she had to do, it wouldn't bother me. If she was scheduling a nap on a daily basis, it probably would. I have *gasp* slept while my kids were asleep.
Edit: I read the OP. The mom was home and awake, working. I don't see what the big deal is at all, unless she should have been twiddling her thumbs. I would rather have a nanny who occasionally napped than one who drug herself through some of the days I drag myself through.
I really don't think that is relevant. I'm not getting paid and I know that my child's safety is lies on my shoulders when I am the adult at home whether or not I am asleep.
I'm obviously in the minority on this - which is just surprising to me, that's all.
If I were working for someone, I am positive I wouldn't think it would be okay for me to be asleep in the middle of the day at their home while they are paying me. I am too paranoid, I suppose - but I would think about fire, intruders, something happening to the child in their sleep that I wouldn't be privy of if I were conked out, other things around the house I could do, the fact that I was getting paid! I think it shows poor judgment for a girl who has been working for a family for 4 weeks to fall asleep on their couch!
I would agree that at night, after the kids are in bed for the night, it may make a little more sense.
I'm enjoying reading all of the opinions/thoughts that differ from mine.
Additionally, I had no idea that "please don't sleep on the job" should be something I should specify if I hire someone to stay with my child. Seems so odd to me!
My first boss, who owned the company I worked for, took a nap every single day. He had a large collection of studies and other evidence that he would whip out if anyone commented on it about the benefits of napping. That was 20 years ago. He is 70, still works, and still naps everyday.
I worked for a doctor that was this way. Our 30 minutes for lunch weren't paid, but we all got an hour after lunch that was paid for us to rest and/or sleep. She had nice comfy couches set up for all of us in the break room. It was fabulous!
Susan, I am with you and am kind of surprised how many people are ok with it. I can see others' reasoning, but I just can't get past the sleeping while getting paid
I don't even nap during the day, so I would expect a paid nanny not to sleep while caring for my children in the middle of the day. I think a late night is different
In the OP's situation, it seems like the nanny just dozed off without intending to take a nap. I would definitely mention it though
DS 3.12.08
DD 7.11.09
DD 8.01.13
I just think this is different - the child is still your responsibility while they are asleep. I used to sleep in my car between clients. I'm all for naps - but not when I am responsible for someone else's kid - or getting paid.
Let me clarify - I'm not up in arms and wouldn't go nuts and fire someone on the spot, I just don't think it is best practice. And as I said, I would never do it if I was the nanny, so I would probably question my nanny's judgment if she thought it was a good plan.
I've consumed a bottle of wine while my kid was awake (and asleep) - i really would prefer my babysitter not do so, you know?
I don't think it's that big of a deal. If she happen to fall asleep but she had a monitor or something in the room so she could hear the baby then I would be fine with it. If she is only being paid to watch my kid and not to clean my house and the kid takes a long nap....what do you expect her to do. If I found out that my baby was upstairs screaming for a half hour because the nanny was passed out, then yes that would be an issue.
I didn't read the OP so I don't know the exact circumstances but maybe the nanny was exhausted and legitimately fell asleep while reading. It happens. I definitely wouldn't fire a nanny over taking a rest while my kid was sleeping.
When we hire a babysitter to go out at night, they are almost always asleep on the couch when we got back. It never occurred to me to be upset over that.
I don't see the difference between falling asleep at night or during naptime.
Depending on the exact circumstances it may not bother me. If she had all her other work done and fell asleep while reading for a few minutes - not an issue for me. If the house was a wreck and the baby was crying - yep, it would bother me. I think I would be more upset if she was talking on the phone and texting while the baby was awake.
The nanny is very young and didn't sound very experienced, so she may just be exhausted with the job. I would question the OP's decision of hiring a 19 year old and expecting her to be 100%. That is why experience is valuable.
yeah, I guess I don't know either - I would prefer my paid sitter to not sleep while at work - when I come home and my parents are asleep on the couch late at night, I am fine with that.
This!
LOL! Water just came out my nose. Thanks a lot Susan!
DD#1~8/17/96------DS~10/24/05
DD has a babysitter. My family doesn't babysit while I am at work - they have jobs.
"You don't believe in preschool" is not a true statement about me.
I have slept while DD is here and not asleep - I AM HER MOM AND NOT GETTING PAID AND GET TO MAKE THE PARENTING CHOICES I WANT TO MAKE. Sorry to yell - I just don't get that argument. Nor do I think parents shouldn't sleep. I don't give a flip when/how a parent sleeps or doesn't. I was simply asking what others thought about BABYSITTERS sleeping on the job.
Dial down the sass, Andrewsgal, I'm not telling the world that you shouldn't let your babysitter sleep. I'm not even up in arms about this. I am just having a discussion....and fascinated that I am in the minority.
I just don't think it's a big deal to stay awake during the day. There were tons of times when I was working 12 hour days that I would have loved to put my head down on my desk and take a little nap. But I didn't, because I wasn't getting paid to nap and was pretty sure my boss wouldn't appreciate it
DS 3.12.08
DD 7.11.09
DD 8.01.13
I don't think I would have a problem with my nanny sleeping on the job. My condo is small. There isn't much cleaning that you can do without waking up DD so I wouldn't expect a nanny to be able to do much during nap time. As long as the nanny is a light sleeper and would get up the moment that DD got up, I don't think I'd mind.
I don't mind paying someone to sleep. I figure if she isn't sleeping she'd likely be playing on the internet/reading a book or something else that isn't directly related to caring for my child. Sleeping isn't the worst thing in the world ::shrug::
I didn't read the OP.
I wouldn't have a problem with my babysitter sleeping while my kid sleeps. There have been several times when we have stayed out late and when we came home the babysitter was sleeping on the couch (anytime between 9pm-2am).
And I don't understand how it's ok that your parents sleep on the couch while "watching" your kid, but the teenage girl next door can't sleep while your kid is sleeping? I don't expect a babysitter to stay awake until 11pm or midnight...
If it were unintentional like in the OP, then I would just let it go. If it started happening frequently, then I'd take issue with it.
For me, personally, I think it would depend on a host of other factors, like how dependable I thought she was, if we had discussed it beforehand, if she read to the girl in bed and just happened to fall asleep, were the doors locked, etc.
I have no problem with a nanny being fired on the spot for doing it if the parents are uncomfortable. It is kind of common sense that you don't sleep on the job, ever, in any workplace.
I would have to go with everyone else Susan and say it wouldn't bother me all that much. Usually I am in the minority on here but with this one I think I'm with everyone else.
It's not to say it might rub me the wrong way. It would all depend on who my babysitter was, if it was a friend, teenager, family member etc. There would be a lot of factors. And if it was an everyday thing that might make me feel different too.
But in this case, if it was the first time it happened and she just fell asleep reading and was in complete earshot of the kids I would probably not be appalled by it.
I also don't think it's a big deal. Yes, she is getting paid but when I worked full time,I got a 30 minute lunch and two 15 minute breaks during the day. If I wanted to put my head down and nap, I could do that. One employee used to go out to her car, set an alarm and take a 15 minute nap every day!
The child is safe in the crib and it really seems that she was caught up with most everything else. I agree that taking a 15-20 minute nap would only benefit the child in the long run because it would give her some more energy. Sometimes I close my eyes for a few minutes when I put DD down for her nap and DS is playing quietly. On the days I do that, I do it because I know I am tired enough that I might become a hazard in the afternoon without the rest. And I don't expect a nanny to be superhuman.
Alright, well you are all crazy.
I AM KIDDING.
I get the other point of view. I'm sticking with mine. I respect yours
Clarifying one more thing for someone who asked the difference between my parents here sleeping at midnight while DD is asleep and a babysitter sleeping midday - I guess not much except that they are family, 70 years old, it is late at night, and they aren't paid. Other than that, no difference at all.
My poor babysitter who has to stay awake during work - she has no idea what she is missing out on!!
I agree with you. A normal, healthy 19 year old person should be able to stay awake for an 8 hour job during normal working hours. An occasional night time sitter is different then someone being paid to do their full-time job as your nanny.
I also find it odd that the nanny fell asleep right in front of her employer. That is bizarre to me. If I were the nanny, I would be extremely embarrassed and take it as a sign that I need to go to bed earlier at night.
As my kids' mom, I get to sleep while they are sleeping if I want (which never happens since older DD doesn't nap), but I'm their mother 24/7. I don't get a break unless I make one for myself. And their awake time is a lot longer than a normal working day. And no one is paying me to do a job. When I was a teacher, I did not go to sleep while the kids were at PE or music, I found something productive to do. If I was exhausted and just didn't feel like grading papers, I surfed the internet for a few minutes, then got back to work. That's what responsible grown ups do.
I get that sleep is important for your health, and I am someone who needs sleep to function normally. Some nights I am in bed by 8:30 just to make sure that I'll have a full eight hours before the kids wake me up in the morning. But I still don't condone sleeping on the clock.
personally i think that whole entire post got blown out of portion-
the nanny was sitting on the couch in a smallish (2 bedrm house) with no monitor and closed her eyes while reading a book.
I agree, Stacy. It didn't sound like she put her jammies on and hunkered down under a down comforter. I don't think any person can say they have never zoned/closed their eyes (if not really sleeping) at a job during a break. And FWIW, I am sure she DID feel stupid doing it in front of her employer, but to suggest it makes sense to threaten to fire her seems so insane. Just because she is paid and I am not does not give me the right to close my eyes for a few minutes while she has to be somehow more alert- as if money makes you more awake. I don't know, I was always the one at my old job pushing my employers to institute mandatory siestas, so maybe I'm biased:-)