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Single Parents
susanc07
member
question for you ladies
susanc07
member
I'm pretty deep in the divorce process, but honestly I can't even imagine dating again. I read the intro post and it seems like everyone in a new relationship is like, "I've never been happier," etc.
Is that true? I mean, when I was dating my H, I felt pretty darn happy. My wedding day, blissful. Is it really better this time around?
I guess I'm just nervous. Why would things turn out any different than with the 1st marriage? I can guarantee I did not see my life turning out like this when we married 6 years ago.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: question for you ladies
I saw several red flags, but chose to ignore them. I'm a fixer by nature, and thought I could fix my ex-husband. I wasn't blissfully happy on my wedding day, and I purposefully didn't change my name legally after our wedding.
I knew better this time around.
but i'm also a fixer; the realization of that also revealed my codependency on MH and our relationship.
I learned that I am only responsible for me and not for others so we have no control over what others choose to do. I don't know why things turn out the way they do but we can choose to learn whatever the lesson was and move forward with that new knowledge.
I loved my stbxh and still do but he did not in return and he chose to walk away. I decided to think that as much as I loved him, when someone does not love me and they chose to walk away, that itself is a gift because it open the opportunity for me to hope to find that mutual love that I desire in a relationship.
It's different for everyone and it sounds like you had a good experience with your H, but for whatever reasons things ended, so I can't really give you advice based on what happened with me, because things were different. I knew that I was settling with XH, in my gut, and on my wedding day I definitely was being fake. I know next time around I won't settle and I will follow what my gut instincts are telling me. That's how I know my situation will be different.
Honestly, it sounds like you just aren't quite ready to date yet, if you are worried about these things.
There were good times, but there were also a lot of bad that I just overlooked for a really long time.
And you're right about me not being ready to date. I'm just wondering if I'll ever get there. I guess it takes time.
This is me 100%. I have only seriously dated one person since my divorce. That breakup affected me more than the demise of my marriage. Now, I am just not interested (or that is what I am telling myself!)
::waves:: Hey, Susan!
I'm not much help since I honestly don't see myself dating for a very long time.
I have high hopes for you though. You're gorgeous, funny and a good person. I hope the 2nd time works out better.
thanks, lady.
I agree with most of the other posters. It was never right with my XH. I certainly wasn't blissful on my wedding day. I was incredibly close to running out the door actually (I wish I had...). I cared about him but it was never "in love".
I'm smarter now and am truly in love. We treat each other wonderfully, have amazing communication, and couldn't be happier. I hate to admit this but I always knew this is where X and I would end up.
Me too.