The club I don't belong to...

buckeyebaby814 · October 2011

You know. The Pregnancy Club. Let me preface this vent/ pity party just by saying, my frustration and sadness is not that I am not happy for them, but always asking the never answered question, 'When is it my turn?'

Both of my SILs are pregnant, my cousin's GF is pregnant, a co-worker is pregnant and the only other two of child bearing age just had newborns this spring. Now, a friend I made through my husband, happily bounces up to me at church yesterday. She's pregnant. She told me in August they were going to start trying after her yearly exam at the end of August so the pee is still fresh I'm guessing.

There's really no point to this other than I need to get this out. I'm actually going to look for a counselor or a support group near me. This sadness is taking over my life and I hate feeling this jealousy and bitterness.

Thank you for listening ladies, I can only let it out so much to my husband.

ETA: The pee is not fresh, she's 11 weeks along, just must have gotten lucky that very first time

charmedgrl517 · October 2011

I am sorry your having a hard time......I don't have much advice since I am also having a hard time right now too

I have a coworker at work, a previous close friend, and a cousin's gf who are all pg right now and it sucks. I am happy for them deep down but also bitter and jealous that I am not pg and would be

I went to talk to a grief counselor and it did help....I recommend it. I still have my moments and it seems like the past couple weeks I have had alot of bad ones

Hope it gets better for ou soon and you get your take home baby very soon

hungryhippo · October 2011

(huge understanding hugs) It sucks. I hope it is your turn very soon.

csuperstar02 · October 2011

You know we know what you mean and don't mind listening at all! One coworker is due next Monday and two others (with kids around 6 or older) recently announced their pregnancies. They weren't trying/maybe not preventing, but it was still more of a, "wow, guess what" it seems.

My aunt's sister is pregnant.

She's 59.

Like you said, very happy for them. Just, still. Tongue Tied

kevinandmonica2011 · October 2011

I'm so sorry you are both having a tough time. ((hugs))... we will get through this together and we will all be a part of the super awesome Pgal club. Waaay cooler than plain old KU FH club, in my opinion.

peloquinJ · October 2011

So sorry you are having a hard time right now! I am glad you are looking into your options and I hope they will help bring you peace until you get your take home baby.

Carolee · October 2011

Big (((HUGS))). I can totallly relate.

BenzGrl · October 2011

Just wanted to say I know what you mean. A lady at DS's preschool told me about a week ago that she's expecting. Now all I want to do is avoid her. I also had to stop going to my Bible study group due to a few other ladies that are expecting. I couldn't even concentreate on what was being taught because I was/am so wrapped up in my feelings of jealousy.

We'll can and will get through this! And I'm so thankful that we have this board to help us. Hugs to you!

LaTi07 · October 2011

(hugs) I'm sorry you're having a rough time right now.

buckeyebaby814 · October 2011

Thank you ladies for your 'empathy' and understanding. I just spent the last half hour trying to find counselors in my insurance network and I found one that works with women dealing with loss and IF issues. I'm too chicken to make the first step, I filled out a questionnaire online requesting them to call me.

LaTi07 · October 2011

buckeyebaby814:
Thank you ladies for your 'empathy' and understanding. I just spent the last half hour trying to find counselors in my insurance network and I found one that works with women dealing with loss and IF issues. I'm too chicken to make the first step, I filled out a questionnaire online requesting them to call me.

Sweetie, admitting you need a counselor and trying to find one IS the first step and the hardest one. Great job on taking it and I really hope you are able to find someone who you can share your feelings with.

CashewsMommy · October 2011

{{{{{hugs}}}}}

ccam · October 2011

Hugs to you! I'm sorry you're having a hard time, it's not easy.

[Deleted User] · October 2011

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linfor2 · October 2011

((hugs)) We all know how you feel! Hang in there!

csuperstar02 · October 2011

LaTi07:
buckeyebaby814:
Thank you ladies for your 'empathy' and understanding. I just spent the last half hour trying to find counselors in my insurance network and I found one that works with women dealing with loss and IF issues. I'm too chicken to make the first step, I filled out a questionnaire online requesting them to call me.

Sweetie, admitting you need a counselor and trying to find one IS the first step and the hardest one. Great job on taking it and I really hope you are able to find someone who you can share your feelings with.

This is what I was thinking. And you filled out the questionnaire. I hope it is something that is helpful for you!

Cherry1111 · October 2011

Echoing others in this post, that we all know how you feel. I feel like every single person of child bearing age that I know is pregnant right now. A coworker was scheduled to be induced on my EDD (tomorrow) and thankfully had her baby on Saturday. I just don't know if I could have handled the birth announcement tomorrow.

I honestly don't know how to deal with it. I've disconnected myself from situations that make me sad and I know it hasn't been the best for my relationships. I just don't think I'm going to be able to be fully happy for other people's pregnancies until I have my baby.

mikeANDjen448 · October 2011

I'm so sorry you are going through all of this! I have pg people around me, but not like that I can only imagine the frustration when they JUST started ttc and the very first time she POAS she gets the BFP that we've all wanted for so long...... You are not alone and you can always vent here with us!!!

Big squishy {{{hugs}}}

kbhaynes · October 2011

I know how you feel sweetie. I have been thinking about doing the same thing myself. ((big hugs))

KJsbabe · October 2011

((hugs)) I'm sorry you're having a hard time right now.

butterfly843 · October 2011

((hugs)) I can completely relate.

bwe1100 · October 2011

buckeyebaby814:
Thank you ladies for your 'empathy' and understanding. I just spent the last half hour trying to find counselors in my insurance network and I found one that works with women dealing with loss and IF issues. I'm too chicken to make the first step, I filled out a questionnaire online requesting them to call me.

Many hugs, b. I just started counseling a few days ago - the first meeting was difficult, to be honest, but I'm incredibly glad to be beginning a new stage in my healing process. I hope this will be productive and very positive for you. Congrats on making the first step.

bluebonnetmeg · October 2011

I am so so sorry. ((hugs)) I know how you feel. I hate feeling like I am in a race.

Lilac33 · October 2011

Ugh...I'm so sorry. I'm going through the same thing right now. My SIL and I are very close and she is due in December. It honestly felt like we were in the club together during my pregnancy. Now, I feel so left out and sad that she's going on with her journey when mine had to end. (((hugs)))

amandachs · October 2011

kevinandmonica2011:
I'm so sorry you are both having a tough time. ((hugs))... we will get through this together and we will all be a part of the super awesome Pgal club. Waaay cooler than plain old KU FH club, in my opinion.

I'm sorry you're having a rough time Buckeye. I wish I had a magic wand that would take all of the hurt away. I love the outlook from kevinandmonica though, being part of a super awesome pgal club sounds waaaayyyyy better than the KU FH club. We'll get there one day... remember, "when not if" as once said by the very wise SweetTurnip Smile

buckeyebaby814 · October 2011

amandachs:
kevinandmonica2011:
I'm so sorry you are both having a tough time. ((hugs))... we will get through this together and we will all be a part of the super awesome Pgal club. Waaay cooler than plain old KU FH club, in my opinion.

I'm sorry you're having a rough time Buckeye. I wish I had a magic wand that would take all of the hurt away. I love the outlook from kevinandmonica though, being part of a super awesome pgal club sounds waaaayyyyy better than the KU FH club. We'll get there one day... remember, "when not if" as once said by the very wise SweetTurnip

I know, I know. I just feel like every conversation I sit through lately is full of rubbing bellies and talking symptoms, movement, etc. After trying for 15 cycles and two losses, I feel like it's not going to happen anytime soon. I also feel some degree of stress because if this or the next clomid cycle do not work, we will have to go to a RE for IUI (via referral and recommendation from my OBGYN.) I just feel like we don't have that much extra money right now to throw at IUI. I feel like the end of our road (for now) is near and it scares me, KWIM?

jerseyleo · October 2011

I know exactly what you mean. Also, I have been thinking of seeking some help because I get so sad and angry whenever I see a pregnant woman. I have good days and bad days but i am getting so sick of the bad days.

mrsgaines100 · October 2011

I understand! It really sucks! Not sure why some people in life get to have their blissful happy pregnancy when they want to and some dont. Hoping we all get to "graduate" soon to PGAL.

LS50 · October 2011

I am right there with you! Trying SO hard not to be jealous but sometimes jealousy just creeps right in. It's tough when everyone is I know either just had their baby or is pregnant 5 seconds after deciding to TTC. Just remember that you are going to have good days and bad days with this...and for the bad days you can vent here;)

I just keep reminding myself of the following: 1. nothing that happens around me...like none of the pregnant ladies or newborns has anything to do with me or my ability to have a beautiful healthy baby. 2. I can be both happy for these people in my life and separately sad for me because of my loss...I am not sad because of their good fortune. 3. someday it WILL be my turn!

hang in their girl...better days ahead:)

jerryliljess · October 2011

((BIG HUGS))

I'm so sorry you're feeling excluded. It's so hard not to feel those emotions when everyone you know is getting pregnant.

1220winterbride · October 2011

((hugs))

Twizzle · October 2011

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way, I can totally relate. I think it's great that you have made the first step towards counseling. I did 5 sessions with therapist and it was really hard but it helped so much. I'm also going to start going to a support group because like you, one of the hardest things for me is that I feel left out of the pregnancy club. I'm hoping this support group will help me feel more included even though it's still not the group I really want to be in.