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Your thoughts on nickname usage
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Re: Your thoughts on nickname usage
We chose DD's name based on a not too common nickname that we liked for it and the intent to call her the nickname. But if someone calls her by her full name (which I don't EVER do except occasionally when introducing her because otherwise people misunderstand her nickname and think it's a differnet very common name) I don't mind at all and don't think it's weird. I say "we call her X" but that's just it - that's what WE call her, I don't care if others don't. I wouldn't be surprised if as an adult she reverts to the full name since the nickname is a bit cutesy.
FWIW, my parents always used a nickname for me instead of my full name and I HATE it. I think it's a fat girl name (and being fat, that makes it more annoying) - no offense to anyone else with the name, LOL! I really wish they'd stuck with the full name or let me choose my own nickname, but it's too late for that. Hoping Boodle doesn't feel the same!
If you wanted to just call him call, you should have named him Cal.
People are going to fall into certain habits when they use a name or nickname, and I have no problem with it. Sometimes it just happens, and I'm not going to force someone to call a kid Jack instead of Jackson if that happens to be what they call them. One day said kid may really want to be called Jackson. Or a completely different nickname may arise for said kid.
This is so not a big deal to me.
ETA: DD has a unique Irish name that very few people even pronounce correctly on the first try. DH's grandmother still just calls her "the baby". My mom "threatened" to call her by some made-up nickname. As soon as my mom met her, she used her full name and everyone else does too.
Well, this brings me back to why I had asked my original question...one of our top boy name choices is a name that everyone in my family likes, but my sister & her wife have both expressed that they don't like the nickname that goes w/ it (that we intend to use). So, I think if they choose not to use the nickname simply because they don't like it, it's sort of a slap in the face b/c we DO like it, and we will use it, and we intend for others to use it.
Similarly, their son has a long name that over time very naturally morphed into a very feminine-sounding nickname - I won't say the actual name, but let's use "Jackson" as an example, and say they started calling him "Jackie." It wasn't anything they planned on, it just developed into that. In this case I do think there's a little more leeway since it wasn't a nn that was established from the beginning. Still, I adopted it b/c it's how they always referred to him after a certain point. I don't like it much, but I still use it because they do. But others in our family really dislike it b/c of how feminine it sounds, and they go out of their way to not use it. I don't really think that's cool - I think if the parents use it and that's the only name they use for their kid, then the rest of the family should too. That said, he is now 5 and I asked him recently (they had just moved back to the East Coast after living on the West Coast), what name he would like me to call him and he said, "Jackson." So, I am back to calling him that.
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!
I think b/c it's such a popular post it's seeming like a MUCH, MUCH bigger deal than I ever meant it to be. Trust me, it's really not a huge deal to me in the whole scheme of things.
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
haha - nope!
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!
Dammit! LOL
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
Well our LO's name is Jasper and we call him Jax. We do this because he is the "V' and my husband is the "IV" and my husband goes by Jasper so I wanted LO to have his own name. Our situation is a little unique so I wouldn't like if someone called him Jasper because to me, that is DH's name and Jax is my LO's name.
If DH didn't have that name I wouldn't mind as much if others called my LO by his full name.
After two losses, third time was a charm.
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I agree with this. And in fact, that's what we did with our 2nd. His name is the nickname, not the full version. I don't like the full version and never considered it.
This is also an issue that is relevant to me, personally. I don't use my full name and never have. I was named with the intention of only using the shortened version of my name. Frankly, it kind of p!sses me off. I wish my parents had just named me the "nickname" that I go by. It has been a huge annoyance my entire life. And I don't like the full version of my name, either!
So, understand where this is coming from, but my feeling is, if you aren't going to call your kid by it, don't name them that. If you are fully planning to call them something else, do everyone a favor and name them what you're going to call them.
(Sorry, clearly this is a sensitive issue for me!)
LOL Richard is my FIL's name and also DH's middle name. WHen I am pissed at him I call DH Richard but what I am really is D! Ck and he knows it LOL! I partly do this so my kids don't hear me say that work LOL!
This is how I feel. And why I named my son Jack. No confusion, no formal name, no nicknames.
Problem is that I am having a hard time coming up with other boy names that I like that can't be shortened into a nickname. I like Miles, but that is my boss's name.
If DH knew that you named your son Callum, he would call him Callum no matter what. He can't stand nn's and feels so strongly about it that he would probably do it no matter what you thought. He is of the camp, "if you like Cal, then name him Cal." Stubborn German.
My brother's name is Marcus. Growing up, everyone called him Marc. Sometime around highschool, people started calling him Marcus. I am not sure if that is how he wanted it or not (I was in college). I thought it was the strangest thing that everyone but immediate family were calling him Marcus. His friends didn't know who I was calling for one time when I called on the phone and asked to speak to "Marc". They almost hung up until I realized that he went by Marcus and I then asked for Marcus. At first i didn't like it, but now I am fine with it. I still call him Marc for the most part but have switched to Marcus on occasion- especially since that is what his wife calls him.
I think I don't think this is a big deal, but I get how you can feel that people are referring to someone else as I certainly did after all of those years hearing my brother being called by a nn and then all of a sudden the rest of world calls him by his given name. But, I think I would be more offended if I called my son by his given name and people shortened it then I would be if people called him by his given name. My mom tries to call Patrick by nn's and I correct her all of the time. It irks me and I know it would REALLY irk DH!
I am the opposite...I find that often, when I introduce my son, Jack, people say, "Oh, Jackson! I love that name!" And it puzzles me because I just said his name is Jack.
It is important to me because Jack is named after my grandfather (his first AND last name!!) and I just LOVE the name Jack. Not Jackson.
So I always make that clear. However, if I had named him Jackson, and wanted him to be called Jackson, it would bug me if people called him Jack.
I wouldn't give Daniel the middle name James because I'd hate it if someone called him DJ!!!
I don't really get why people use a name if they're not going to use it either. But if I'm introduced to someone a certain way, that's the name I use. I think it's weird when someone asks me LO's name and I say "Daniel" and then they say "Hi, Dan". Why ask me his name? Why not just call him Larry or whatever else you feel like right off the bat? So I imagine it's the same if you use a nickname and other people won't. But I'd have a hard time if the name was DJ!
I call her by her full name, nn #1, nn#2 and all sorts of other silly stuff!!! lol
But there is one nn we use more often and that is what most people call her. I would never think it is disrespectful if she is called by her given name. In my head it would be disrespectful to call him anything other than his given name.
What does bug me is when DD is called nn that we have never used
But it wouldn't upset me too much.
I think if a prior poster had a great idea to announce your child with the name you want him to be called and not the given name...maybe that will work
And boy is the post getting some action!!!
Well, that makes it challenging. Just remember that it is okay if not everyone, including your immediate family, doesn't like your son's name or nn.
If you HATE the formal version of the name, then I think you'd be better off using the nn as the official name and your sister and SIL will just have to get over themselves. (Example while I don't care for Ellie, if my friend had named her just Ellie rather than Elizabeth I certainly would only call her Ellie. Calling someone by the formal version of a name which they know for a fact isn't the child's name is disrespectful.)
But if you like the formal version as well as the nn, I see no harm in giving him, and others like your sister, options of what he can be called.
Ultimately the version of the name will be entirely up to your child.
Exactly. Sounds like getting input from your family is causing more stress than it's worth. I can't imagine not using a name (given or nickname) b/c someone in my family didn't like it, that would just piss me off (and is a good reason why we never shared or discussed names with anyone before birth).
Oh, I do think it's okay for someone not to like a name we are considering...the rule we go by is if we love it we'll use it unless a family member strongly dislikes it. if they're only so-so about it, we're okay with that. And by family member, I only mean my immediate family - my mom, dad, sister, & sister-in-law.
So, while I do think it's okay not to like it I guess I just feel that if we choose to use the nn and always refer to him as that, then it wouldn't feel right for someone in the family to NOT use the nn simply b/c they don't like it very much. Likewise, that's why I, until my nephew recently told me he preferred the long version of his name, always called him by the nn his family had given him over time ("Jackie" in this fictitious case) even though I didn't care for it. But others in my fam stayed away from it b/c they didn't like that it was feminine-sounding. And I always thought that wasn't really cool of them.
Funny how when you spend a long time discussing the finer points of something it makes it seem so much more important/dramatic than it really is. I hope no one thinks I am as hung up on this as I may appear to be.
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
This Cluttered Life