If this is your first...

tknaus1 · October 2011

When do you plan on having your 2nd child (if you have plans to continue)? This has been on my mind a lot. Obviously not knowing what it's even like to be a mommy yet, I'm not 100% sure on ANYTHING. However, I do anticipate wanting to try for our 2nd child within a year of having our first. Does anyone else feel this way? When do you think you'll start trying for your 2nd? If you've already had a child and are expecting another, when did you start trying for your 2nd?

murph317 · October 2011

tknaus1:
When do you plan on having your 2nd child (if you have plans to continue)? This has been on my mind a lot. Obviously not knowing what it's even like to be a mommy yet, I'm not 100% sure on ANYTHING. However, I do anticipate wanting to try for our 2nd child within a year of having our first. Does anyone else feel this way? When do you think you'll start trying for your 2nd? If you've already had a child and are expecting another, when did you start trying for your 2nd?

I'm also pregnant with our first and although this plan may change, my husband and I plan on having our second before this baby is 2 or 3. Neither of us want there to be too much of a gap between the children but we also want to be able to enjoy everything with baby number one before I'm exhausted with number 2 on the way. We will probably start trying once this baby is about 1 1/2-2 years old.

MrsStephanieDunn · October 2011

I would like to have our babies 2 years apart (if all went to MY plan...) But who knows what the future brings. DH and I want four kids, (this is our first) but he teasingly told me it really was up to me and how many times I think I could handle being prego! So far so good

. Good luck with your Pregnancy!!

LilyPotter218 · October 2011

I used to want two, but after this pregnancy do not think I will ever be doing this again. There has been nothing but tears/stress/panic/emergency dr apps/hospital visits, to ever do it again, especially while taking care of another child.

Right now, DH does not have a great job, and with 2, I would absolutely want to stay home. That may not be an option for us for quite some time and by then I won't be having more. I have nothing against it, but I will not be having children past 35.

Irisheyes1247 · October 2011

This pregnancy is my second. When LO #2 arrives, DD will be 16 months. We really were not planning on trying until next summer, I was hoping to have DD be a little more "able" as right now she is not even walking. But someone had other plans for us! I think I was kind of sensitive about it to begin with (and even still) because I am the oldest and I really wanted DD to have a little more time of being the "only" or the "baby," probably because I felt more was expected of my from my parents and it is hard to be the trailblazer in your family. But now I am happy to have them so close too, because I know Charlotte will love the baby and having a buddy around all the time. It will definitely be an adjustment, but so is anything.

KatieMarie27 · October 2011

I plan on trying for #2 sometime in January 2013, when LO is about 9 months old. I figure then the baby will be born that fall and the kids will be 2 years apart in school. My sister and I were only 1 year apart and it was difficult sometimes cuz we were compared to one another in everything! I figur having a 1 year gap would help. I'm also planning on having a few kids (i want 4-5) so I can't space them out too far or I'll be prego when I'm in my 40s. (nothing wrong with that, but personally I want to be done by the time I'm 35)

countrygrl5533 · October 2011

Mar11th:

I'm also pregnant with our first and although this plan may change, my husband and I plan on having our second before this baby is 2 or 3. Neither of us want there to be too much of a gap between the children but we also want to be able to enjoy everything with baby number one before I'm exhausted with number 2 on the way. We will probably start trying once this baby is about 1 1/2-2 years old.

This. But it will be closer to 1.5, probably a little younger. We want 3, maybe 4, and it took about 7 months to get pg with this one. Not a long time but I want my kids to be fairly close in age. Plus, the women in my family start menopause in their late 30s. I'm 25. I want to have plenty of time in case we have a hard time getting pg again or anything.

kmiller1012 · October 2011

This is my 2nd. But when I was pregnant with #1, we said we would just let it happen when it happened. But once DS was born, I wanted more time with him. So I wanted about a 20 mos age difference. We were trying to prevent using the natural family planning, but I gave in to DH one morning and ended up pregnant again. The 2 will be 15 mos apart. It took some getting used to the idea, but now I think it is going to be great having them so close in age.

We are still up in the air about a 3rd, but I know I want at least a 2 yr age difference between this baby and a 3rd. DH just doesn't want to be completely done with diapers and have to start over again.

salt78 · October 2011

We are one and done.

If I had met/married my husband earlier in life then I might feel differently about this, but as it stands right now, I will be just about 34 years old when B is born (I'm due three days before my birthday) and it is my personal choice to not want to have any children past 35.

MsHenry30 · October 2011

After our first we thought we wanted a 3 year gap and ended up trying again when our DS was one. We got pregnant the 2nd month of trying and my first 2 are 21 months apart. So far this has been extremely manageable and my DS is actually really helpful.

When we agreed that we wanted more than two we decided to try again almost right away. I come from a family of 5 and we're all pretty much 4 years apart, my oldest sister being 12 years older than me. I want my kiddos to be closer in age.

DD and baby #3 will be about 15 - 16 months apart. I am a little more nervous for this but very excited at the same time!

waltzingmatilda13 · October 2011

If we have another one it will be at least 3-4 years before the 2nd. The financial strain we're going to be facing with daycare is enough to make us wait until the first is fully potty trained and pretty self-sufficient. We both work full time so daycare is a must.

stacey1279 · October 2011

My DD is 8, so I would like to try for LO#3 when this one is a year old. If all goes my way then there will be a 2 yr age gap with the younger ones.

As of right now my DH wants to stop with this baby, but I think he might come around after we have the baby and all... Wink

huskerDG · October 2011

This is our first. Ideally, I'd like for the kids to be 2-3 years apart, for several reasons:

1. My sister and I are 3 years apart (to the day!) and I think that has been pretty perfect.
2. It gives us plenty of time with just LO #1 (and vice-versa)
3. As long as the kiddos are at least 24 months apart, then their ages will never be "next" to one another (ie, LO #1 is 7 years old and LO #2 is 6 -- just a personal preference)
4. If we wait 2-3 years for LO #2, I'll *probably* be able to stay home.

Based on how many we want (3-4 for now - that could always change after #1 actually gets here) and when I want to be done having kids, our babies might be closer to 2 years apart than 3 years apart, but I'm fine with that.

526SadieSadie · October 2011

This is our first and we know we want one more (possibly two more, more than that is out of the question!) We'll try getting pregnant with the second child when we're financially comfortable with having two children. If that means one or two years apart, great - if that means four or five years apart, great.

dfoley1111 · October 2011

We are planning to start trying after LO's first birthday that way I'll be able to breastfeed for 12 months (God-willing of course).

kiarstin · October 2011

we want one. But if I had chosen to have to I would probably want to bang them out as close together as possible

HoneyBee522 · October 2011

This is my first and I've always wanted 3 or 4. I'm thinking more like 3 these days. I'd like them to be pretty close in age so we'll probably start trying when this LO is 8 or 9 months. My sister and I are 16 months apart, and while that can be a huge PITA sometimes, the good definitely outweighed the bad. That's the "plan" but I know that can change at any time.

LilyPotter218 · October 2011

salt78:
We are one and done.
If I had met/married my husband earlier in life then I might feel differently about this, but as it stands right now, I will be just about 34 years old when B is born (I'm due three days before my birthday) and it is my personal choice to not want to have any children past 35.

I am so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. DH and I have only been married a year! Starting sooner was not really an option. Ill be 32 when this one comes, but we can't afford to jump right back on the baby train (if I even decided I would do this again).

sfinchWed68665 · October 2011

DH really wants at least 2 kids but I think we may be one and done. He really wants a boy so if it's a boy Im not having any more but if it's a girl Ill give it another shot just for him. I have been nothing but miserable this pregnancy from the non stop M/S, to going to the ER and finding out my esophagus is strained from throwing up so much, to losing almost 20 lbs. I am so not wanting to go through this again.

So Im not sure what the future holds but if it's up to me, we are done after this LO.

mrs.gee · October 2011

We started trying for #2 when DS was about 21 months. It was earlier than we wanted, but were instructed to "go and get pregnant" by my RE so I could have a large cyst removed afterwards. We got pg in 4 months, then m/c. We got pg again the first month we tried, then m/c. Then it took 7 tries after that to get this pregnancy and DS was 3+ years old when we got pg again. So, it took us a year and a half to get pg with #2 (and hopefully hopefully have it stick).

LuckyInIreland · October 2011

We THINK we'll start trying for #2 within 2 years of the birth of this little one. I've always pictured having at least 2 kids within a few years of each other. If we decide to have a third, maybe 3-4 years from the birth of LO#2

salt78 · October 2011

LilyPotter218:
salt78:
We are one and done.
If I had met/married my husband earlier in life then I might feel differently about this, but as it stands right now, I will be just about 34 years old when B is born (I'm due three days before my birthday) and it is my personal choice to not want to have any children past 35.
I am so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. DH and I have only been married a year! Starting sooner was not really an option. Ill be 32 when this one comes, but we can't afford to jump right back on the baby train (if I even decided I would do this again).

Yeah we will have been married two years when she gets here. I have no regrets on not getting married earlier though. The thought of marrying any of the guys I dated in my 20's makes me want to hurl actually.

It is nice to find someone on the same page!

wordslikeswords · October 2011

I plan on trying for #2 when this baby is 18 months. We did IVF, and have 3 frozen embryos. I feel like I need to use them all. I figure not all of them will work, but I'll be 31 when this one is born and I don't want to be much older than 35 having our last baby, so we don't want to wait too long, even if only 1 works. With that said, I have craptastic kidneys, and I need to try a new medication to fix them before we try again, so we'll have to wait at least a year since it's not compatable with pregnancy.

alz · October 2011

Why do so many people not want to have a baby after 35? it's just a number! I'll be 35 when my first is born. We did IVF b/c I have PCOS, so no birth control for me after this one. I want to see what happens, and if I actually get periods maybe try when this one is a little over a year old. If nothing happens, then back to the RE. We still have 10 frozen embryos left!

Lanatir · October 2011

I don't want to cramp anyone's plans for their kids, but DH and his 2 siblings are 2 years and 8 months apart. The youngest one has so many problems that (whether true or not) doctors say could be linked to the fact that she was the third born in less than 3 years. Apparently the human body needs time to recover to adequately deal with the stress or something. She ended up getting all of the genetic disorders in their family (including mental health ones...) and ended up with both Acid Reflux and IBS (which means she can't eat anything like ever without medicine).

That being said, DH wants at least a year between each kid (for however many we decide to have... I want even numbers, so we'll see what happens between those two feelings lol).

It's a good thing I have you ladies, as there are so many things I never think about until I see questions posted about it on our board!

salt78 · October 2011

alz:
Why do so many people not want to have a baby after 35? it's just a number! I'll be 35 when my first is born.

As I said, it's a personal choice. You do what you want to do and I'll do what's best for me.

Charlyne · October 2011

We plan to TTC #2 once LO is 1.5/2 years.

Zilly13 · October 2011

I would like to have #2 fairly close after this LO arrives.

In a perfect world, I would like to get all the diapers, bottles, sleep-less nights and potty training done in one chunk. I can't imagine having a LO who is just finished in diapers only to have to start over with a newborn.

kclg10 · October 2011

We will probably start, depending on how everything goes, when LO is 6-9 months old. Only because it took us so long to get pregnant this first time (18 months) and DH also has low morph. We were very lucky to get pregnant on our own.

jajsundevil · October 2011

We would like more and in a perfect scenario we would start trying and get pregnant when DH graduates residency which would put #1 around 15 months. However, we had trouble getting pregnant with this one due to my PCOS so I wont be going on any hormonal birth control after. Since we want more I don't want to fiddle with my wonky hormones in a way that could make it more difficult.

SassyRedhead · October 2011

We started TTC for #2 when DD was 1....she'll be 4 when this baby is born. I lost two babies in between. So my advice would be to not have your heart set on a specific timeframe in case the universe has different plans but maybe plan to start earlier than expected if you are older or have had previous issues.

KatieMarie27 · October 2011

LilyPotter218:

I am so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. DH and I have only been married a year! Starting sooner was not really an option. Ill be 32 when this one comes, but we can't afford to jump right back on the baby train (if I even decided I would do this again).

My cousin had a high risk pregnancy the first time with an incompetent cervix and went into labor ar 30 weeks to have a healthy baby girl. They waited 4 years before trying for #2 and had a perfectly normal pregnancy with no issues.

Abby7 · October 2011

We're not going to TTA at all after this baby is born. Hopefully as soon as AF returns we will start trying again. I'll be 34 when the baby is born (33 now) and I don't want to leave much left up to chance.

Before my BFP I had a blood work-up at an RE and my AMH was really low (0.6) so I am not messing around. Turned out an HSG was all I needed (I got PG that cycle) but I am still worried about my future fertility.

Cholzmei · October 2011

tknaus1:
When do you plan on having your 2nd child (if you have plans to continue)? This has been on my mind a lot. Obviously not knowing what it's even like to be a mommy yet, I'm not 100% sure on ANYTHING. However, I do anticipate wanting to try for our 2nd child within a year of having our first. Does anyone else feel this way? When do you think you'll start trying for your 2nd? If you've already had a child and are expecting another, when did you start trying for your 2nd?

I originally thought that I would want to try for the second very soon after because I don't want to go back on birth control (I was using Mirena) only to have to come off and have my body go through that adjustment period all over again before we could truly TTC. However, 1st trimester was not fun. I wasn't puking all over the place like a lot of people, but I felt like a slug. All I did was sleep. I can't imagine feeling like that AND chasing a toddler around at the same time. So I'm not sure right now.

psychgirl33 · October 2011

Ideally we would like our kids to be about 3 years apart. We'll see though. Depends on a lot of factors that I'm sure I can only foresee a very small portion of!

FinallyMrsBMW · October 2011

We really wanted to have three years between our kids (and wanted a spring baby) so we planned on starting to try in July but wound up pregnant in June...so DD was 2 years 5 months.

*Viola* · October 2011

I switch insurance in May to DH's job insurance (I'm on my grad school insurance right now) after the baby is born and have to wait a year before TTC again so the insurance will cover a pregnancy. We want our kids at least 2 yrs apart if possible and want 3-4.

paintme · October 2011

We would like to have two and I always thought my sister and have a good age difference. She is 3 1/2 years older but four school years so when she was a freshman in college I was a freshman in high school. We were far enough apart to have different friends as kids but close enough to be friends as adults. That being said I will be 33 when the baby is born so we will probably try sooner. It would be nice to have only one in diapers at a time but we may have to start trying before that.

krispy83 · October 2011

This is our first and we'd like to have two. We haven't talked about timing yet, but I'd like to have them about 2 1/2 years apart. I think that's a pretty good age gap, but I don't want them tooooo far apart.

Mattel · October 2011

We will start trying when LO is around 10 months old. We would like 3 or 4 and we don't want to have them too late. When Reese arrives, it will be right as I'm turning 28 and DH is turning 32.

MrsJetSet · October 2011

Loolaide:
Lanatir:
I don't want to cramp anyone's plans for their kids, but DH and his 2 siblings are 2 years and 8 months apart. The youngest one has so many problems that (whether true or not) doctors say could be linked to the fact that she was the third born in less than 3 years. Apparently the human body needs time to recover to adequately deal with the stress or something. She ended up getting all of the genetic disorders in their family (including mental health ones...) and ended up with both Acid Reflux and IBS (which means she can't eat anything like ever without medicine).
That's pretty strange. Genetic disorders are caused by chromosomal issues with the egg or sperm, or during conception. Since eggs are held in the woman's bodies since birth, they would not be affected by two pregnancies in a row. Obviously the sperm wouldn't be affected by multiple pregnancies. I'm not sure how random issues at conception would be caused by pregnancies that are close together, but I'm not an expert.
I know that you're just repeating what doctors are saying, which is fine, but I just wanted to respond in case people are taking this as the truth without talking to their own doctors first.
DH and I are thinking of trying again starting 6-9 months after LO is born. I'm also in the camp of not wanting to have kids past 35. I'll only be 31 when LO is born, but I want to give myself a cushion.

Kaiser did a pretty detailed research study recently that said you should have your kids, I think, 3 years apart to minimize risk of autism. I read the study at the time but it has been a while..

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