- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
C-sections
Does this sound normal, or would it piss you off? (hospital stay)
After reading the post below regarding holding your LO after surgery and all the responses, I am beginning to question whether or not I got the best care. My c-section was unplanned after a stalled failed induction at 41 weeks, and I was unable to see my son for about 2 1/2 hours after the surgery. I had meconium in my fluids, so he had to be checked immediately, but he had no problems and was fine - never went to the NICU. Even so, I got to give him a small peck on the cheek before they took him away. I found out later that from DH that the nurses in the OR who checked him weren't even told about the meconium - he told them inadvertently when he asked what they had to check for because of it. But my sister, who had two c-sections, didn't get to stay with her babies either, so I thought it was par for the course.
The hospital's recovery room was stupidly right next to an exit, so no babies are ever allowed in due to the security alarms going off if a baby gets too close to an exit. Grrr. Next, I was not given any pain meds until about 20 minutes after I was in recovery. The spinal had long since wore off, and when I asked the nurse why I hadn't been given anything she said that they had to fax the prescription down to the pharmacy and then they would fill it and bring it to me. But she didn't fax it until after they had me all set in recovery. She acted like it was no big deal and I thought I was just being a baby about it, but my sister said that she was given pain meds before she left the OR. I was hurting so bad that I couldn't even watch the video that DH had made of our son for me because I had to close my eyes and tune everything out just to concentrate on not crying, cause who knows how bad that would have hurt then. I was upset about it, but the staff acted like it was no big deal.
When I was finally given something wheeled back to my room I finally got to see my son, who was just perfect by the way. Even though I'm sure they fed him before he got to me, he was able to latch on beautifully and we never had any problems with breastfeeding. Once I had my baby I didn't care about anything else, but reading some of these posts have brought things back into the light. My body wasn't even ready for an induction in the first place, but my dr wouldn't let me go past 41 weeks. The induction falied of course, and was the start of many interventions that I did not want. My recovery was terrible once I got home, but the part that makes me the most upset is that I did not get the skin to skin contact with my child right after birth. I didn't get to "know" my child right away, if that makes any sense, and that is the whole reason I want a VBAC next time around. Knowing that other women got to have that even though they also had c-sections hurts, and I feel very cheated. Now I know that many other women have had experiences that make mine pale in comparison, but I am just getting more and more irritated and upset about my experience.
If you've made it this far, I commend you. Tell me, would some of that stuff piss you off, or am I being a baby and all this is normal?
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Does this sound normal, or would it piss you off? (hospital stay)
Wow, I'm so sorry you had a bad experience. I'm not even sure where to begin...
If your son didn't go to NICU, where was he while you were recovering? In my hospital, the baby has to stay with either mom or dad the entire time, so my DH had my daughter while I was on my way to recovery, therefore there is no possible way they could have fed her or anything before she got to me.
I also, didn't get meds for 15-20 minutes, but wasn't in pain, maybe the epidural hadn't worn off yet, so that might be normal.
I also had an unplanned c-sec and afterwards felt some resentment toward DH, because he held her first etc. Delivery isn't something we can plan, but at least you are aware of things you would like different with the next one.
I am right there with you. My experience was very similar and it breaks my heart.
I did have plenty of pain meds though. That isn't just crappy policy, that is malpractice. File a complaint.
I agree it is a waste of energy to just sit around being angry. That's why I wrote a letter. I've kinda started to turn into an advocate. Redirected anger is good energy!
I'm sorry. I think you have every right to be upset by that. I am so thankful my unplanned c/s was at a hospital that did not separate moms and babies and if I had not been able to see my baby for hours I would have been miserable. Not giving you pain meds right away after major surgery is not acceptable.
While it may be "useless" to be angry about the past, sometimes you have to let yourself feel that anger or sadness in order to heal and move on. So it's OK to be upset for some time about how your birth went. You will be able to make peace with it and move on.
I like the idea of writing a letter. It may feel therapeutic and maybe they will change the policy so other women won't be treated that way.
With both of my girls (who are 4.5 and 6.5 years old) I did not get the immediate skin-to-skin contact. When they were born, they were quickly assessed, wrapped up, DH got to hold them for a few minutes and I got to give them a couple cheek to cheek snuggles but I did not get to hold them. DH could follow them back to the area where the nursed did the next round of evaluations and gave them their shot (Vitamin K I think). When I was brought to recovery I was able to hold them again. (Luckily that area allowed that, it wasn't near an exit like yours.) Family members could come back, two at a time, and we had the baby with us for about 30-45 minutes to bond/ nurse. Then they went to the nursery for about two hours while I was being observed.
The hospital now has become more "baby friendly" and I've been told that the baby will stay with us the whole time as long as our medical states are good after the birth/ surgery. I'm sorry your experience wasn't what you hoped for, but you're right, you can become an advocate. And you can relish in the fact that you have a beautiful baby to love.
Yep, this was one of my big reasons to VBAC. My first son was unexpectedly hospitalized after birth, and his birth was such a giant mess that all I wanted was a straight-forward vaginal birth in which my baby stayed with me, and we got to go home after a night or two.
Have you considered counseling? There are therapists who specialize in birth and maternity issues. Is there anyone in your family or friends you can talk to and who'd understand what you went through? It took me about a year to come to terms with my first son's birth (and then when I got pg again, a lot of the same feelings came back). So be gentle on yourself, and give it some time. You're not alone!
Also: Maybe check out this forum for women who've had traumatic births, it might help too? https://www.solaceformothers.org/mothers-forum.html
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
I agree with this. Not giving you your pain meds is just inhuman.
I didn't read any of the other responses, but as an L&D nurse...it sounds normal to me. People don't get to hold their baby right away after surgery, well, because your in the OR. The best they can do is keep the baby in the OR and let the dad hold the baby. At our hospital the baby needs to go to the nursery an hour after birth for their bath and assessment. It's our policy. If the baby is doing well, and in your case would depend on how thick the meconium was, the baby can stay for the remainder of the surgery. Some doctors are quick at c-sections and the baby stays for a while with the parents in the recovery room. Some babies we take from the OR because the surgery takes longer.
As far as the pain meds go...you said you had a spinal? Most times anesthesiologists will do a spinal that has pain meds in it. With this spinal, we as nurses aren't allowed to give any other meds for pain for 24 hours. It has to be ordered by anesthesia. It does take time to process orders, so , 20 minutes doesn't seem that bad. On the other hand, as a patient who had a c-section and was in a lot of pain, 20 minutes feels like an eternity.
I'm not trying to justify your experience, but it doesn't sound like these things should be pissing you off, just how things go. I think for people who have a vision of a vag delivery and skin to skin contact and being with your baby right away are upset about the experience that comes with a c-section, It's very, very different and most people don't even think of getting one or think about how different it would be from a vag delivery. I hope you can have a VBAC next time!
I didn't read any of the other responses, but as an L&D nurse...it sounds normal to me. People don't get to hold their baby right away after surgery, well, because your in the OR. The best they can do is keep the baby in the OR and let the dad hold the baby. At our hospital the baby needs to go to the nursery an hour after birth for their bath and assessment. It's our policy. If the baby is doing well, and in your case would depend on how thick the meconium was, the baby can stay for the remainder of the surgery. Some doctors are quick at c-sections and the baby stays for a while with the parents in the recovery room. Some babies we take from the OR because the surgery takes longer.
As far as the pain meds go...you said you had a spinal? Most times anesthesiologists will do a spinal that has pain meds in it. With this spinal, we as nurses aren't allowed to give any other meds for pain for 24 hours. It has to be ordered by anesthesia. It does take time to process orders, so , 20 minutes doesn't seem that bad. On the other hand, as a patient who had a c-section and was in a lot of pain, 20 minutes feels like an eternity.
I'm not trying to justify your experience, but it doesn't sound like these things should be pissing you off, just how things go. I think for people who have a vision of a vag delivery and skin to skin contact and being with your baby right away are upset about the experience that comes with a c-section, It's very, very different and most people don't even think of getting one or think about how different it would be from a vag delivery. I hope you can have a VBAC next time!You were the bitchy nurse I had weren't you? The one who told me to stop crying because my baby was just fine. You piss me off.
You are completely WRONG that she should not be pissed off. You are completely wrong to tell her how she should feel at all. The policy is ridiculous and that is made evident by the fact that many hospitals have already changed this ridiculous policy and many others are changing as we speak.
Whew...now...learn to be sympathetic to your patients and their needs-and being with your baby after any kind of birth is a need. It isn't just a touchy, feely vision. Go back to school for some sensitivity training. HTH!
Re: the pain meds, you absolutely should not have had to wait. Speaking as an RN, faxing it to pharmacy is important, but 1. it should have been done as soon as it was apparent you were going to have a c/s and 2. pharmacy holds can be easily over-ridden if the order is already there.
Other than that, your experience does not sound "normal," but it sounds fairly standard. That doesn't make it ok. Maternity care in this country is a joke. You are absolutely not being a baby, I would be livid too.
I'm so sorry your experience was not good.
I didn't have a c-section, but I just wanted to offer my sympathies. Really, as long as the baby is okay, mom should be able to hold/touch/see the baby after delivery! I get the "OR policies' and whatnot, but why not allow mom to see baby's face and touch the baby? It's really stupid that they would not allow even the mom to look at or touch the baby (I get not holding her if her arms are numb or she is really out of it, of course).
I'm really not a biitchy nurse, and I do sympathize with my patients. And, no I have never told a patient to stop crying. I'm honest with my patients and tell them what's going on. I never hide anything from them.
I didn't mean to come across as rude, but her experience sounds like it went like a normal c-section delivery does at my hospital. You don't get to hold the baby right away, you don't get skin to skin contact, and some babies need to be taken right away to the nursery and some can stay with the parents for a bit. Do I agree that most that want to keep their babies with them and not be separated? Of course. I don't think our hospital does things perfectly, but I wouldn't be pissed off, maybe a bit upset about how things went...
As far as the pain meds go...at the hospital I work at, the anesthesiologist writes the orders for all c-section patients. We don't get them till the surgery is over and it needs to be faxed and processed by the pharmacy...it just takes a bit of time. I don't want my patients being in pain, and I've had 2 c-sections, I know it hurts. As a nurse, we can't pull meds out of our butt, so as soon as we have access to them, we get them.
People get upset when they hoped for a vag delivery and end up getting a c-section, especially after days of being induced and things not working out. I believe people have to mourn their experience in a way. The deliveries are COMPLETELY different.
Policy =/= need
Just because it's policy to routinely separate healthy mothers and babies does not mean it needs to happen. Healthy babies can be assessed at the mother's side. The nursery care can be delayed for a couple of hours so the mother can spend time with her baby. She will never get those first hours back.
Maybe at your hospital you can lobby to change this policy.
The deliveries are of course different. NSS! There is no reason the aftermath has to be. There is no reason not to have skin to skin and BF right away. There is no reason mom can't hold baby in recovery if she is feeling well enough. And there is certainly no reason why the baby has to go to the nursery for three hours for observation just because. That is the point.
And if mom is fine with the way things went, then that is her choice to feel that way. Obviously from this post and the one a few below...this is not normal for most hospitals and is not okay with most moms. Otherwise the posts would read very differently.
Your hospital is as backwards as mine was. I'm glad they changed their policy. I wish they had done it three months sooner. You need to be a good nurse and start advocating for your patients instead of following a blind policy that has no basis in the health of patients.
I agree with you and they have started to look into doing things differently. I didn't deliver at the hospital I work at, and my baby never left my side. The nurse took her for her bath and assessment 5-6 hours after she was born. I loved having them stay with me.
We have many mothers where their baby follows them to recovery. They can breastfeed and have skin to skin contact there. Even though our hospital requires a baby to be in the nursery at 1 hour old, if a mom is breastfeeding, I don't take the baby. I let her and her husband have the time with their baby. Some babies don't go back to recovery for various reason, some babies need to go to the nursery sooner, so the parents don't get that experience. Sure, there are ways that things can be improved at any hospital. Every situation is different with what needs to be done with the baby and mom.
I hope that I can make everyone's birth experience the best it can be for the particular situation that they are in. That's why I became a nurse...I really didn't mean to sound biitchy or uncaring. Sorry.
I'm a L/D RN..and yes, we do sometimes have a wait before pain meds..but normally moms don't have pain right away because the anesthesiologist should be covering that until we reach the recovery room. As soon as we are there, I take the orders from him and fax them to pharmacy..I cant override pain meds because they aren't life saving meds..however, if you're super uncomfortable..you can bet I will send them down STAT so we get them ASAP (15 min at most)..or call pharmacy as many times as it takes to get you relief right away. (thats what im there for..as a patient advocate).
At my hospital, we never separate mom/baby. Yes, when they are stitching you up, you really don't get to hold the baby..but I always have the dad help support the baby so its either on moms chest by her..or right by her face..so she can touch and bond with her baby (as soon as you get to recovery room, you can do skin to skin or whatever you would like to do). Truly even if it was a policy to whisk them away, I dont think I could do that.
I'd write a letter to the manager of the unit about your experience..that is the best chance that something can be done to not ruin other people's birth experiences. On that note, I'm sorry your experience was less than great...I hope you can make a difference in this particular hospital's policies and procedures
Ladies, I appolgize for opening a nasty little can of worms here. I just had to vent to people who would understand - DH listens but just doesn't get it. I really am okay with everything in the end, just upset by a few. I have a beautiful son thanks to the hospital where I delivered, I just wish some things had been different.
Thanks ladies
You don't have to apologize or explain anything. Of course you are thankful for your baby.
There is no need to apologize! It really makes me angry when someone tells someone else how to feel about their birth experience. If you are angry, go ahead and be angry and vent here. That's part of why this board is here.
Obviously, I am still upset about my birth experience (not so much the c/s as the separation) and my passions run high. I should apologize for hijacking your post!
What she posted was not normal for my experience... My baby was placed in my arms as we rolled back to recovery. I was able to hold her and bond with her for a bit. There, she stayed in the same room with me as the nurse assessed her and gave her a bath. She remained in the same room with me until we were taken to PP unit where she was only taken to the nursery for the pediatrician assessment or by request.
As for pain meds, I had a spinal and still received additional pain medications. If no narcotics can be given per your hospital's protocol then why not Toradol? I received this in recovery and it helped so much with my pain.
Our hospital has a standard set of orders that are faxed to the pharmacy before the procedure and ready immediately post-op.
I wasn't able to be with DD until I was out of recovery either, but I did get some time with her in the OR. I'd be really upset about the pain meds. I was given something after DD had left for the nursery because I was in pain during the closing. It knocked me out for a little bit, but I wasn't in pain!
As for BFing - DD did not get fed anything because they knew she was going to be BFing. Hopefully they didn't give your lo anything either (not that it really matters now).
If I have another c/s I am going to push for nursing in the OR or in recovery.