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Baby Showers
Is this in poor taste?
I own a small women's gym and have gotten to know most of my members very well. My demographic is middle-aged to the elderly. Lots of giving grandmothers and in general very nice women. I'm only 10 weeks but am already thinking about how I'm going to afford everything. I suspect that many of my members would give me a gift any way. What I'd like to know is, would it be in poor taste to have a baby shower up here. I don't want to seem greedy but at the same time think it would be cute to have one. What do ya'll think?
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Re: Is this in poor taste?
My little goofball born 1/2012
This is in horrible taste. These people already pay you a monthly fee, now you expect them to give you gifts? WTF?
You chose to have a child. It's your responsibility to pay for what that child needs.
I don't think it would be in poor taste if someone wanted to throw you one at the gym. I too am a business owner and over the years have beome personable with certain clients that I consider friends and did invite them to my shower. It's whatever you feel comfortable with, you know your clients better than we do. GL
The Out-Of-Date Bio | The Blog I've Started Updating Again
Your clients should not have to buy your baby essentials because you made a decision to have a child and now you are concerned about affording everything.
Showers are usually reserved for close friends and family, so inviting your clients to a shower does seem gift-grabby. Throwing your own shower is poor etiquette, so unless some of your staff decides to have a work shower, don't insist on having one at the gym.
No doubt your members will become aware of your pregnancy and if they are so inclined, they might get you a small gift. Given that it's a business relationship, I wouldn't expect much more than a blanket or an outfit.
Please realize that YOU are the one choosing to have a child. it's on YOU to pay for it. if anyone throws a shower (at the gym or not), or people simply give you gifts, its out of the kindness of their hearts and not out of obligation.
To answer your question, yes, it would be in poor taste to throw a shower at your gym. These women will buy a gift if they want to. No one needs to throw a shower for this to happen.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
This. It seems gift grabby.
As PPs said, there are several things in poor taste here: the fact that you are considering throwing your own shower, the sentence about your clients being very 'giving' grandparent-types, and the thought of inviting people to a shower that you do not have a friendship with.
A shower in itself is a gift to you from someone- you don' tthrow your own. If and when someone offers and asks you for a guest list, the names you provide should be family and close friends only or else it seems very gift grabby.
99% of the time the answer to any "is this tacky/in poor taste" question is yes. This is not the other 1%.
As for how you're going to afford it....consignment sales, craigslist, hand-me-downs and coupon-cutting are all great alternatives to making your paying customers subsidize your choices.
this.
Geez, great to feel all the love and support in this discussion. Does anyone give her credit for asking our advice before deciding to do it? Quite frankly I'd rather be "rude" and throw myself a shower than present myself as you folks do which is just beyond rude.
To answer your question - no, it isn't considered proper to throw yourself a shower. However, if the ladies at your gym bring it up or offer, you shouldn't feel bad at all about accepting. If you decide to do it at the gym, I would do it during non-business hours or set aside time for the "VIP" event.
Did any of you bother asking if anyone else is throwing her a shower? Every woman deserves one, and some of us are not in a position where we are near to our dear ones who would do so - if these women decide to bless her with gifts she should accept, while of course expressing gratitude to them.
Personally, despite the fact that everyone in my circle keeps telling me I "shouldn't" have to throw my own shower, everyone who offers to help turns to me in the end to make the final plans, decisions, do the "legwork" to get everything together... so while my shower will be officially hosted by my aunt, I'm still the one who is pretty much throwing it. I'm extremely uncomfortable with the idea of asking anyone for gifts, I don't even like it on my birthday or Christmas! However, it is what it is, and I definitely will be needing everything that I receive that day.
As for it being her decision to have a baby - well duh. Does that mean that others shouldn't celebrate her choice? Our friends and family make the decision to graduate college, get married, have babies, get promoted... celebrating each other's life choices should be something we do out of love for one another.
Quite frankly I think she's smart for even thinking of it... she sees the opportunity that will be a two way street - she will get needed items for the baby and these "grandmotherly" types will get a chance to oooh and aaaah over a pregnant belly and later, a precious newborn.
Some of you should really be ashamed of yourselves for tearing her apart. She asked an honest question and instead of honest support you give her this? Thank god you're not my friends, because you wouldn't be for long!
... says the girl with 1 post. Welcome to the board!
Completely agreed.
I would wait and see if someone offers to throw you one. Personally, I would be uncomfortable with going to a shower where my only relationship with the mother-to-be was as a business client. But if your clients want to, they will arrange a shower on their own.
Do not throw your own shower, and even if one of your staff members wants to throw you a shower at your gym, do not invite the members. If someone wants to give a gift, they will, whether there is a shower or not.
If you are concerned about how to afford things, start saving now, do not count on others to buy things. Remember, these are your clients, they may be the giving grandmotherly type, but they are not YOUR grandmother. They may buy their own grandchildren a crib or stroller, you will most likely get a cute outfit or a doll.