- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
July 2014 Moms
BoraBoraBaby
member
Possible Trisomy 18, **update**
BoraBoraBaby
member
Or prayers, which I really need right now, if you're willing. Please remember this is a completely rare situation so I am not sharing to scare anyone, but selfishly I just feel like I need support from my fellow bumpies. I briefly mentioned this in a prior thread but I am ready to share the full situation.
Last week we had our long awaited anatomy scan where we were completely surprised and excited to learn we were having a girl. I knew the purpose was to inspect growth of bones and organs and functionality, but I knew we had nothing to worry about, everything appeared to be progressing as normal. I had no idea that our tech was seeing some markers that possibly indicate a problem. I even thought everything looked perfect because my baby looked perfect to me. She was tugging on her umbilical cord and refusing to let us see her face. I could feel her moving and it was exciting seeing her move at those times, knowing it was really her that I was feeling. She looks just like I did as a baby, big head and tiny limbs. She has my legs, even my knees. We left our appointment and drove to Babies R Us. We didn't buy anything but decided we should reconsider some of our registry items, because we were so sure we were having a boy,
We had a centering group appointment an hour later, and during my one on one time with my midwife I asked if she had the report so we could go over it (since it was her idea to have my scan earlier that day for the purpose of going over it after). She hadn't received it yet but would find the tech during our break. When the class was over, DH and I were the last to leave. I asked almost giddy-like if we could just expect a call if there's a problem, and that's when she handed us a blue piece of paper with several soft markers and what they indicate, with one circled, telling us our tech thinks she saw choroid plexus cysts which could be a soft marker for Trisomy 18. She still hadn't seen the report but sent us to the lab for a quad screening in the meantime. I lost it. She kept talking but I have no idea what she was saying.
She called the next day after she and the OB reviewed the report. She referred us to a specialist for a second scan and consult with Dr and genetic counseling. I asked if additional markers were found and she said yes, but wouldn't tell me what they were because she didn't want me to google them and drive myself crazy. I didn't press it because I'm not sure if I can handle knowing without hearing from an expert.
Our appointment is scheduled for this Tuesday. We are beside ourselves. I can't even think about anything baby related and I feel like I've already lost her. I stopped eating and have a hard time remembering to drink water. I cry when I think about how tiny she is and how horrible of a mother I am for not caring for her better at the moment. When I feel her move though, I fall in love all over again. She's just too perfect to be sick.
DH and I are well aware of the prognosis if this is what she thinks it could be, and right now it appears we are going to have completely different feelings on how to cope. I have experienced morning sickness for weeks, I've felt my belly grow and have had to put away my old clothes so I could fit comfortably in clothing without squishing my baby. I've felt her turn and I've felt her kick. I've seen myself in her during our scan and when I see her pictures. I already love her as a human, as my daughter. I couldn't choose to terminate. I don't judge anyone who would choose to, but I can't. DH worries that he couldn't handle bringing her into this world just to lose her days or weeks later, or have a rare case where we raise a completely dependent child with no quality of life. I explained that she's already real to me, and often daddies only realize how real their babies are once their born.
I struggle to know what's more humane. DH and I both spent our lives searching for normalcy, each coming from atypical family lives, (we both have exceptional families, but we each experienced major loss at a young age). When we found each other, we both felt like we cashed in all our pains and struggles for the greatest gift; each other. Never have I been this happy, not because of him alone but because I'm finally aware of who I am and what I want. We had dreams of having healthy babies, like we've always wanted. After losing one pregnancy at 6 weeks followed by a chemical pregnancy, we finally made it into the second trimester and never saw this coming. How can I choose to put him through another phase of his life where he can't have the normalcy we've finally established?
I know we will get through this and I have great support, but it don't know hot to handle decision making when we see this so differently, either way we lose a part of ourselves. But I don't ever want to lose him. I don't want to lose the confidence I finally have in myself. I don't want regrets.
Sorry to be a downer. I just needed to share.
**Update** Unfortunately today brought more confirmation that our little girl has Trisomy 18. My quad came back 1:90 which is considered positive in of itself, but the additional markers along with their significance make our diagnosis all but confirmed.
I took the maternity 21 test and will get the results in 1-2 weeks but at this point we took it for the sole purpose of removing any doubt we may have during those fleeting moments of denial. It's devestating news but we will get through it.
Like many of you, I never even knew about this disorder. A week ago I had no clue what it was. I would've been among those thanking my lucky stars it was happening to someone else and even questioning whether or not I wanted to force myself to read about their sorry situation that was so unfamiliar to me. I assure you that is exactly how you should be feeling, be thankful!! But just know that your kindness really goes a long way and I won't forget it. You all are lovely women. All the best to each of you.
Last week we had our long awaited anatomy scan where we were completely surprised and excited to learn we were having a girl. I knew the purpose was to inspect growth of bones and organs and functionality, but I knew we had nothing to worry about, everything appeared to be progressing as normal. I had no idea that our tech was seeing some markers that possibly indicate a problem. I even thought everything looked perfect because my baby looked perfect to me. She was tugging on her umbilical cord and refusing to let us see her face. I could feel her moving and it was exciting seeing her move at those times, knowing it was really her that I was feeling. She looks just like I did as a baby, big head and tiny limbs. She has my legs, even my knees. We left our appointment and drove to Babies R Us. We didn't buy anything but decided we should reconsider some of our registry items, because we were so sure we were having a boy,
We had a centering group appointment an hour later, and during my one on one time with my midwife I asked if she had the report so we could go over it (since it was her idea to have my scan earlier that day for the purpose of going over it after). She hadn't received it yet but would find the tech during our break. When the class was over, DH and I were the last to leave. I asked almost giddy-like if we could just expect a call if there's a problem, and that's when she handed us a blue piece of paper with several soft markers and what they indicate, with one circled, telling us our tech thinks she saw choroid plexus cysts which could be a soft marker for Trisomy 18. She still hadn't seen the report but sent us to the lab for a quad screening in the meantime. I lost it. She kept talking but I have no idea what she was saying.
She called the next day after she and the OB reviewed the report. She referred us to a specialist for a second scan and consult with Dr and genetic counseling. I asked if additional markers were found and she said yes, but wouldn't tell me what they were because she didn't want me to google them and drive myself crazy. I didn't press it because I'm not sure if I can handle knowing without hearing from an expert.
Our appointment is scheduled for this Tuesday. We are beside ourselves. I can't even think about anything baby related and I feel like I've already lost her. I stopped eating and have a hard time remembering to drink water. I cry when I think about how tiny she is and how horrible of a mother I am for not caring for her better at the moment. When I feel her move though, I fall in love all over again. She's just too perfect to be sick.
DH and I are well aware of the prognosis if this is what she thinks it could be, and right now it appears we are going to have completely different feelings on how to cope. I have experienced morning sickness for weeks, I've felt my belly grow and have had to put away my old clothes so I could fit comfortably in clothing without squishing my baby. I've felt her turn and I've felt her kick. I've seen myself in her during our scan and when I see her pictures. I already love her as a human, as my daughter. I couldn't choose to terminate. I don't judge anyone who would choose to, but I can't. DH worries that he couldn't handle bringing her into this world just to lose her days or weeks later, or have a rare case where we raise a completely dependent child with no quality of life. I explained that she's already real to me, and often daddies only realize how real their babies are once their born.
I struggle to know what's more humane. DH and I both spent our lives searching for normalcy, each coming from atypical family lives, (we both have exceptional families, but we each experienced major loss at a young age). When we found each other, we both felt like we cashed in all our pains and struggles for the greatest gift; each other. Never have I been this happy, not because of him alone but because I'm finally aware of who I am and what I want. We had dreams of having healthy babies, like we've always wanted. After losing one pregnancy at 6 weeks followed by a chemical pregnancy, we finally made it into the second trimester and never saw this coming. How can I choose to put him through another phase of his life where he can't have the normalcy we've finally established?
I know we will get through this and I have great support, but it don't know hot to handle decision making when we see this so differently, either way we lose a part of ourselves. But I don't ever want to lose him. I don't want to lose the confidence I finally have in myself. I don't want regrets.
Sorry to be a downer. I just needed to share.
**Update** Unfortunately today brought more confirmation that our little girl has Trisomy 18. My quad came back 1:90 which is considered positive in of itself, but the additional markers along with their significance make our diagnosis all but confirmed.
I took the maternity 21 test and will get the results in 1-2 weeks but at this point we took it for the sole purpose of removing any doubt we may have during those fleeting moments of denial. It's devestating news but we will get through it.
Like many of you, I never even knew about this disorder. A week ago I had no clue what it was. I would've been among those thanking my lucky stars it was happening to someone else and even questioning whether or not I wanted to force myself to read about their sorry situation that was so unfamiliar to me. I assure you that is exactly how you should be feeling, be thankful!! But just know that your kindness really goes a long way and I won't forget it. You all are lovely women. All the best to each of you.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Possible Trisomy 18, **update**
CAUTIOUSLY expecting Jace in July August 2014
Married in 2011
Baby 1: Stillborn at 27 weeks (April 2014)
Baby 2: Due May 2016
Systemic Lupus Erythematosus
TTC Post Chemotherapy
Unexplained Infertility
DH- SA Normal, Lap on 8/8/13
BFP! 11/7/13 EDD 07/15/14 changed to 07/23/14 after first u/s
My Ovulation Chart
BFP 11/18/13. EDD 7/25/14. It's a BOY!
Surprise BFP 7/30/13. EDD 4/7/14. Natural MC 8/24/13