Eating for us but not for nurses?

MrsLaurenandDan · October 2011

I'm so frustrated. All we are waiting for for Owen to come home is for him to be able to eat all his feedings by mouth/breast. He does this while we are there, but the overnight nurses always end up feeding him through his tube. I'm sure it's totally unfair, but I feel like they're not even trying. Do you think it's just because it's night time, or is it because it's not us feeding him. The NICU has a room for parents to stay in and do all care the night before babies are discharged. Part of me wants to ask if we can stay there sooner, and see if he will eat for us. Am I just being silly/impatient?

bhilyer · October 2011

I would definitely ask about rooming in. If Owen will take all feedings for 24 hours from you, then he should be discharged.

I had issues with a couple of nurses taking the easy way out with Hilyer. The last month he was in the hospital it was all feeding related. I finally convinced the NP in charge of his case to pull his feeding tube for 48 hours and see what happened. He would not have lost too much weight in that time period if he didn't take full feedings. And, I requested the certain nurses be on his case during that 48 hours because I knew they would monitor him closely.

GL!

SushiNoMore · October 2011

You aren't being silly or impatient. There are definitely some lazy nurses. I remember watching one give my son a bottle. I think he needed to eat 45 mL for it to be considered a "full feeding." He was a slow eater that needed a lot of pacing. She just basically gave up after 30mL. He'd bradied, but it was partly because she was rushing and not doing a good job of pacing him. It would have been fine if I'd been the one feeding him.

Definitely speak up and / or demand to be there overnight. Listen to your gut, for sure.

lilstar2009 · October 2011

Poor mama, I think I wrote that same post 2 months ago...you are not being impatient, it is your LO and unfortunately feeding is so nursing/person dependent. I understand your frustration. Speak up to the powers that be, we are all behind you!

adrielegorburu · October 2011

Our hospital gave mothers the opportunity to "rent" rooms in the L&D ward so long as there was space. Ask your hospital administrator - you may be able to stay. Or maybe have a conference with your Neo team and tell them your concerns. There are definitely "lazy" nurses and sometimes the night shift is used to not being watched by parents.

WaitingforGrace · October 2011

We had a couple nurses that also "didn't get it". Our NICU was open 24 hours a day and we were allowed to room in whenever we wanted (required at least the night before discharge). For our more difficult eater, it was difficult for her to wake to eat at night because there wasn't enough stimulation to get through the 20 minutes required to get a full feed in.

We did a couple things: 1. Ask for a minimum. Her full feed was 36cc's but so long as she took 25 we didn't have to gavage her. 2. Once she was taking the full feed every other time we asked that the feeding tube be removed so there wasn't this shortcut available. We had a couple nurses protest that it would be harder on LO to have to put it back in, but we felt confident that with patience she'd get her minimum. 3. We suffered through a couple of nights of being there for her 11pm and 5am feeds so that we only had to rely on nurses for 2am. Then, since she was eating better during the day we'd go home and take a long nap while day nurses fed her.

From when I knew she could do it to when we got to go home was about 4 days.

JakesBride07 · October 2011

I don't think you are being silly or impatient at all. We had two nurses who would not give B a chance to take all his bottle before they'd tube feed him as well. We actually requested that one nurse who openly admited "she didn't feel like being bothered so she just poured it down the tube," removed from his care.

But he also always did much better for us. Finally one of our favorite Nurses told the Neo, "He does great for mom, and she's hear for atleast half of his feedings if not more. What really counts is that he eats for her because he is going home with her, not us." And thats when we were asked to room in and "prove" he could do it.

MrsLaurenandDan · October 2011

Thanks ladies. I'm definitely going to talk to them about it today. And I think I'll try to be there later as well, even if we can't stay.

jjilly7 · October 2011

yes, totally ask. I did all noah's feedings for a full 24 hrs, to prove he could do it. # days before his discharge date he started to have some A's/B's w/ the night nurses, and i was so upset cause i didn't want them to change his discharge date. I asked, they said if he doesn't have any while i do his feedings for a full day, his date will remain...and it did. even if you can't stay, do they have visiting hrs? We were allowed to visit 24 hrs a day, so if they didn't have a room for us, i would have stayed in a hotel, or ronald mcdonald house to do his feedings.

hunt2005 · October 2011

Yup. That was us. I had two babies at home and had to go back and room in for 48 hours as their rule was 48 hours full feeds to come home. They had rooms upstairs and I trecked down to the NICU every 3 hours. It's was exhausting. But the one night they promised they would call instead of gavage they didn't and it added 2 days, so we felt it was worth it.

pizzo84 · October 2011

I had to stay over night on my own to get DD1 to take all of her oral feeds for a 24 hr period so she could have her tube removed. She was a tough baby to feed and the nurses couldn't always do it, especially if they weren't the most experienced nurses. I told my concerns to the Dr and he set it up for me. The next day my DH and I roomed in with the girls and we got to go home the day after that

schenkertobe · October 2011

No you are not being silly. Waiting for your LO to take all their food by mouth is torture. Its like a huge hurdle at the end of an already emotional NICU rollercoaster. We sort of felt the same way, that the night nurses would give a "C" effort at best when trying for feed Andrew a bottle. Who knows, maybe he was just more tired, maybe they didn't care to try. But for whatever reason he always did better during the day and when we were there. I would definitely see about rooming in. The quicker you can get him out of the NICU the better.

Mrs. Alice · October 2011

No you aren't being silly! I got a little ticked too when some of the nurses didn't follow the feeding orders. I actually had to speak to the NP about writing a new order so it was clear as day to anyone taking care of them. It did get better when the NG tubes came out. That way it wasn't so easy to just gavage feed them and not try to bottle feed them when we weren't there. Definitely voice your concerns with the Neo or NP!

st.augbride · October 2011

Ds ate better for us than the nurses. It was so frustrating to hear how little he took with them overnight compared to when we were there. I think it's ultimately one of the reasons why they let him come home when he was still very small (3lb 12oz).

katie4253 · October 2011

You aren't being silly, but you might be overreacting. Only a conversation will tell. He might just be more reluctant at night because he is tired. Who knows. Since he is still so young, he might just not have the strength after eating so great for you all day. OR, the nurses might be lazy.

Def. investigate!

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