I am not new to the bump, but I did just start TTC for #1. The other day I posted my first ever post about a pap smear after which I had some spotting (first time I have ever experienced spotting). Well during this time I had either just ovulated or was ovulating & was very scared about what the spotting could mean! I received one, maybe two posts about how it is normal to experience spotting after a pap and shouldn't worry, but 5 or 6 comments were very negative and downright rude! One even said she was scared for my spawn and I should be too! I thought this a place for women to post their insecurities and fears and be supported by other women. Since then, this post has irrked me and turned me off towards the bump! Even though they have some good information. I guess I am just trying to see if this has happened to others, as I have read many posts but never seen the comments like I did on mine.
Re: Unhappy with the posters on thebump
IMO it depends on a lot of factors: what board you posted on (some are more tight knit than others), how you posted (if you posted a "zomg this is blatantly a newbie post" it may not be well received) and how those people typically respond.
My rule of thumb is that, if you don't like how people respond, you don't have post on those board. Or anywhere on the Bump. You sometimes need a thick skin.
Funny you should say that. I have seen some pretty mean posts in response to questions. In one situation, I posted something and it was taken wrong and someone called me a b*tch. I, too, was pretty disappointed. I mean, I'm so excited and happy and couldn't believe people could be so rude. I even sent that person a private message clearing up her misunderstanding and she didn't respond. I suppose you've just got to let mean people be mean, and remember when you're posting to be nice!
On the plus side, MOST responders have been really nice, helpful, and welcoming. Don't lose faith yet.
I just read the thread. You were making it sound like you were really worked up over absolutely nothing when that board is full of people with serious IF issues and then came over here and totally exaggerated the whole thing. There were two snarky comments. Not "5 or 6."
Seriously, I'm usually the one beating the bongo and singing kumbaya around here and even I'm giving you a major eye rolls.
I've primarily stuck with the 1st Tri and my birth month board and everyone has been very sweet so far. Like the other ladies said, I think it really depends on what board you're posting on. If you want to freak out go to the 1st tri board where a lot of people are newbies and will likely just tell you it's normal and GL.
I also think if you are completely freaking out about something it's probably a better idea to just call your doctor and get it out of the way than post on a board.
Unfortunately, you can't force people to be nice and you have to remember that when you are putting yourself out there. It just comes down to the fact that if you can't handle the responses, then don't post.
I think it's so stupid for people to discriminate against 'newbies'. How childish!! People posting on these boards are adult women who are either mothers, trying to become mothers, or grieving mothers. What is the world coming to if you can't post a 'stupid' question about a very important issue on THEBUMP.COM!?!?!?!?! Isn't that the purpose...?
As a 'newbie' myself...I have encountered mostly really nice ppl, I've been sticking to the TTC board and just trying to educate myself on the abbreviations and stuff.
Good luck to you and don't worry about it too much!!!
Eh, it's just like real life. If some stranger walked up to you and asked a "stupid" question about a "very important issue" (maybe only important to them), you'd at the very least probably give a sigh and an eye roll. But on a semi-anonymous message board you can be more blunt than the average bear, especially if you've had a bad day, are hormonal, or find the question to be highly inappropriate for the board it's on.
I'm starting off by saying, I'm a semi newbie. I get slightly annoyed with alot of the "blatently obvious newbie posts" because they usual ask a question that has been answered over and over and over again. I had a question that I answered all by myself by looking through alot of the posts. I have poseted once, and it was because I was in need of opinions, everything else others have asked so I read the responses to the others same exact question. I do try to be nice and answer questions (even repeats) to the best of my knowledge, or with what my doctor has told me, or even an experience I have gone through.
Also I can't find the OP either.. oh well
As a big poster on The Knot while planning my wedding I was hopefully to find a board here that would be just as friend as the girls I found there. From what I've been told and found out, TB is just like TK. Some boards are more tight knit, as a PP said, than others. I've seen the way newbies are treated and I don't like it. Everyone was new at one point or another and we should all be more friendly and welcome those people in, IMO.
I learned on TK that the girls on my month board were the most friendly and I have a feeling the same will be said for here. I'll be sure to check out my month board once DH and I have conceived.
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I understand this to a certain extent.
I really don't like how some older posters discriminate against 'newbies' and make them feel like outcasts. I have noticed cliques and diffrent types of snark.
That being said, some of the girls really deserve it. Most of the snarky answers are really not uncalled for. I'm so sick of the 'am I pregnant?' questions, and the MUD. Then, there are questions about complicated bodily functions, special circumstances, unexplained bleeding, etc. I just want to scream CALL YOUR DOCTOR- WE HAVE NO F-ING CLUE!!
I'm a huge lurker, partly because of the way some of the women act and mostly because I'm more of a listener and less of a speaker. I think if some women would lurk, read, and research more often, they would learn so much more about pregnancy and childbirth. I really hate being lumped in with the stereotypical newbie, but since I only have 180something posts... it is what it is.
Some boards are really nice and some are pretty snarky. There are hot button issues that are always going to a few nasty comments (vaccine posts/questions generally get slammed with extremists from both sides) but other than that, I hope you'll give the Bump another try since you are looking for support and it does exist here.
Don't let the veteran members get to you - I doubt I'll still be on here so frequently once I've got my mama rhythm down and for those who want to bully FTMs for having questions, clearly the issue's not with you.
I agree with you that some ladies on here can get pretty snarky (from what I've seen just from lurking, not personal experience.) Don't let some bad reactions to one of your posts put you completely off The Bump though! There are plenty of nice women here who want to lend support and DO believe that there is no such thing as a stupid question!
My advice to you would be to develop a thicker skin. What I like to do, is go to boards that I believe fit my situation, and just kinda lurk there for a while. I find a lot of good info and usually some answers to my questions, without a chance of getting ripped apart by veterans who think that my question is stupid.
Sorry for your bad experience, but I hope that you decide to stay on The Bump!