Attention first time mom-to-be's

mcdmaw · October 2011

rimjob:
mcdmaw:
bearinabeesuit:
mcdmaw:

I understand it can be scary and confusing to be a first time mom. I was there.

At the same time, I do not think it is rude or ridiculous to expect a future parent to read a book or use his/her resources. There will be lots and lots of questions that come up and no, a book and/or google cannot answer. There will be lots and lots and LOTs of questions that a book and/or google CAN answer.

Being educated will be a huge part of your birthing and parenting experience. So while I can understand the feeling and concerns you are having now, I can also understand what these second and third time moms are saying.

Hmmmm so if someone asks a question before they got to that chapter in their parenting book, or google answers were all over the place, then ppl can internet bully them?

I can now see why you have concerns about reading...

Why haven't we made out before?

We have on the 9-12 board but I think you were too drunk to remember. We get kind crazy with all that reading and stuff over there.

appylovee · October 2011

bearinabeesuit:

appylovee:
I'm a first time mom, and use google instead of asking the same questions that EVERYONE asks over and over again.

I'm a second time mom, and I personally don't care if someone doesn't google every question. What's the point of a first trimester board if you can't ask questions of other pregnant chicks?

I didn't say everyone had to do what I do. I was just saying that is what I do. I also read posts on the board, and that has answered alot of my questions.
I then gave my little part on how people will be rude in real life, but put them on an almost anonymous board and they get worse.

patriciahomol · October 2011

totally agree with you! i cant stand it!!!

rimjob · October 2011

bigtex11:

I think a lot of the things said on these boards by certain members are hands down rude and vulgar and done to make themselves feel way less insecure about there sad lives. No matter how you feel about a question, there is no excuse for being a bully and making first time moms feel like idiots.

You can flame with puppies and rainbows comments now.

I think this thread, board, and site as a whole are for entertainment. I can be rude and vulgar but it isn't because I'm insecure or because I live a sad life. I'm one of the coolest people I know. I have a happy life, I'm married to a handsome man, my baby is amazing, and I'm hot too. Life is good. Please keep the stupid coming. Thanks.

bigtex11 · October 2011

rimjob:
bigtex11:

I think a lot of the things said on these boards by certain members are hands down rude and vulgar and done to make themselves feel way less insecure about there sad lives. No matter how you feel about a question, there is no excuse for being a bully and making first time moms feel like idiots.

You can flame with puppies and rainbows comments now.

I think this thread, board, and site as a whole are for entertainment. I can be rude and vulgar but it isn't because I'm insecure or because I live a sad life. I'm one of the coolest people I know. I have a happy life, I'm married to a handsome man, my baby is amazing, and I'm hot too. Life is good. Please keep the stupid coming. Thanks.

It's actually for information and knowledge. If you need to entertain yourself with snide comments and insulting strangers, then your life must not be quite as fulfilling as you make it sound.

mcdmaw · October 2011

bearinabeesuit:

Here's what I was referring to:

At the same time, I do not think it is rude or ridiculous to expect a future parent to read a book or use his/her resources. There will be lots and lots of questions that come up and no, a book and/or google cannot answer. There will be lots and lots and LOTs of questions that a book and/or google CAN answer.

So I responded with asking that if it is ok for a future parent -who has the books and google skills- to be internet bullied if they ask a question that they haven't yet reached in their reading? Or perhaps Google wasn't helpful? Maybe you are the one who has a wee bit of trouble reading.

I don't think that question was an obvious connection to the italicized section but regardless I will answer your question.

Is internet bullying good- no. Is it a part of life on the message board- yes. If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen. There is no way for another poster to know that you haven't read the chapter yet (unless you state it). Even if you post something a humble or "not-so-DUH" fashion-- it might piss someone off. Welcome. Its call the interwebz....similar to life but not quite.

rimjob · October 2011

bigtex11:
rimjob:
bigtex11:

I think a lot of the things said on these boards by certain members are hands down rude and vulgar and done to make themselves feel way less insecure about there sad lives. No matter how you feel about a question, there is no excuse for being a bully and making first time moms feel like idiots.

You can flame with puppies and rainbows comments now.

I think this thread, board, and site as a whole are for entertainment. I can be rude and vulgar but it isn't because I'm insecure or because I live a sad life. I'm one of the coolest people I know. I have a happy life, I'm married to a handsome man, my baby is amazing, and I'm hot too. Life is good. Please keep the stupid coming. Thanks.

It's actually for information and knowledge. If you need to entertain yourself with snide comments and insulting strangers, then your life must not be quite as fulfilling as you make it sound.

::runs sobbing out of post::

harleyjo · October 2011

bearinabeesuit:
::Insert funny google image picture::
::insert snarky disguised as humorous remark::
puhleeeze can get get more orginal here?

So why are you here? If you hate the girls here so much, and from what I assume you would call "cliche" responses to posts - why don't you just hit the red X in the top corner of the page? This is The Bump. It has always been this way. It will never change. No matter how many newbs complain. Trust me, you guys are no where near to the first, and you won't be the last. Nothing will change. That's why we tell people to LURK first, and if you don't like the feel of the board - there are a ton of other mommy boards that might fit better for you. No one is forcing you to stay.

harleyjo · October 2011

bigtex11:

It's actually for information and knowledge.

Says who? Printed where? Where does it say that you cannot use this site for entertainment?

mrs+harlow · October 2011

Jaded comes to mind over rude.... That being said, in addition to reading my week by week in my prego book, I lurk over on the second tri board to get a feel on what's going on during my pregnancy now because things posted here don't necessarily apply any longer. Maybe it might help other to do the same if they are annoyed with the very begin stages of pregnancy questions and concerns .

mrs+harlow · October 2011

harleyjo:
bearinabeesuit:
::Insert funny google image picture::
::insert snarky disguised as humorous remark::
puhleeeze can get get more orginal here?
So why are you here? If you hate the girls here so much, and from what I assume you would call "cliche" responses to posts - why don't you just hit the red X in the top corner of the page? This is The Bump. It has always been this way. It will never change. No matter how many newbs complain. Trust me, you guys are no where near to the first, and you won't be the last. Nothing will change. That's why we tell people to LURK first, and if you don't like the feel of the board - there are a ton of other mommy boards that might fit better for you. No one is forcing you to stay.

I find this being repeated over and over by SOME with little medals next to their names to be a cop out for acting a certain way ( i.e. To be snarky and demeaning ) because you think it fits you into a little message hoard hierarchy clique . Many of us have been on The Knot and The Nest with different names and are well aware that not all women on these boards act with distain for newcomers.

bigtex11 · October 2011

harleyjo:
bigtex11:

It's actually for information and knowledge.

Says who? Printed where? Where does it say that you cannot use this site for entertainment?

You're right. It is also for entertainment but I don't consider bullying and demeaning other women "entertaiment".

FeistyKoala · October 2011

harleyjo:
bearinabeesuit:

::Insert funny google image picture::

::insert snarky disguised as humorous remark::

puhleeeze can get get more orginal here?

So why are you here? If you hate the girls here so much, and from what I assume you would call "cliche" responses to posts - why don't you just hit the red X in the top corner of the page? This is The Bump. It has always been this way. It will never change. No matter how many newbs complain. Trust me, you guys are no where near to the first, and you won't be the last. Nothing will change. That's why we tell people to LURK first, and if you don't like the feel of the board - there are a ton of other mommy boards that might fit better for you. No one is forcing you to stay.

Who is WE? And why does this WE get to make all the decisions? You're basically saying that 'the bump is a place where you come to be bullied. If you're not cool with being bullied then find someplace else.' If I'm wrong, sorry, but that's how it seems. How about the people who are NOT in the first trimester stay off the first tri board? It makes little sense to me to go hang out over on third tri if I'm NOT THERE YET. Graduate for Gods sake.

babycannone1 · October 2011

Why'd you guys stop? I'm so bored. And everyone was doing so good at changing everyone else's mind...

CinemaGoddess · October 2011

FeistyKoala:
harleyjo:
bearinabeesuit:

::Insert funny google image picture::

::insert snarky disguised as humorous remark::

puhleeeze can get get more orginal here?

So why are you here? If you hate the girls here so much, and from what I assume you would call "cliche" responses to posts - why don't you just hit the red X in the top corner of the page? This is The Bump. It has always been this way. It will never change. No matter how many newbs complain. Trust me, you guys are no where near to the first, and you won't be the last. Nothing will change. That's why we tell people to LURK first, and if you don't like the feel of the board - there are a ton of other mommy boards that might fit better for you. No one is forcing you to stay.

Who is WE? And why does this WE get to make all the decisions? You're basically saying that 'the bump is a place where you come to be bullied. If you're not cool with being bullied then find someplace else.' If I'm wrong, sorry, but that's how it seems. How about the people who are NOT in the first trimester stay off the first tri board? It makes little sense to me to go hang out over on third tri if I'm NOT THERE YET. Graduate for Gods sake.

Holy shiit, she told you guys!

candee817 · October 2011

FeistyKoala:
Please use your Google function to find information you might be looking for before posting any type of question here, or before looking for any sympathy from any one, about any thing. Apparently it is offensive to those board members who are on their second and third child to post questions that, as a first time mom-to-be, you might have, because they are "stupid". Here is a list of search engines for your convenience:

Google

Bing

Yahoo

Now, can someone inform me of the correct usage of the first trimester message board so that none of us insult anyone else by having to read a dumb question?

Bravo, well said!! You meant for this post to be read with sarcasm right? LOL

Well I did and I like the way you think. I was just about to post something about how I thought this site was for us mommies to be to be able to support each other with big and small concerns. Sheesh, no such thing as a stupid question and if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it at all!

kes487 · October 2011

Just stopping by from the 2nd trimester board because of a post about you all biting each other's heads off. I have to admit, this is a little hilarious...

Anyway, stop getting your panties in a bunch about posts. You can either read it, find it stupid, and move on or you can read it, respond nicely with useful information, and feel good that you helped someone out who had a problem (after all, we've all been first-timers before).

That is all.

dojo1 · October 2011

kes487:
Just stopping by from the 2nd trimester board because of a post about you all biting each other's heads off. I have to admit, this is a little hilarious...

Anyway, stop getting your panties in a bunch about posts. You can either read it, find it stupid, and move on or you can read it, respond nicely with useful information, and feel good that you helped someone out who had a problem (after all, we've all been first-timers before).
That is all.

I'm here for the same reason. I have not forgotten what it is like to be sick all the time and nearly hate everyone that comes within sniffing distance of me and to want to rip the internet-heads off of others who deign to tell me when and where and what to post.

One day in the next few weeks you'll feel less and less like doing this.

ETA: As I reread this, I realized that I have posted what could be termed as "advice" from another tri. This is bad form and I retract the last sentence in my post.

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