Is anyone else having this issue their hubby?

deanna.w1984 · October 2011

I feel like my husband thinks I am making up all of my pregnancy symptoms. I'm tired, sleepy, bloated, gassy, and go back and forth between being nauseous and ravenous! I try not to complain too much becuase I don't want to be THAT person. However, when I'm just letting my DH know what's going on with me I don't get a whole lot of sympathy. I really think he thinks I'm just making it all up! He'll also say,"I can't wait to see how the rest of the pregnancy goes." Like he thinks my complaints are going to get worse. I try telling him that the first trimester is the worst for things like this. My DH is a really great husband, but I feel like I can' tell him any of the negatives right now. Anyone else have this problem?

MelissaMiso · October 2011

Sorry to hear you are not getting empathy. Luckily my DH is supportive and very understanding, especially about my fatigue. I think it helps that I am sharing my pregnancy book info so he can read from professionals what the common symptoms are. Other things to consider: Is this normal behavior for him? Are the other stresses in your marriage or with him personally that are interfering with him being empathetic? Is he worried that these negative symptoms mean something wrong with the pregnancy? Is he freaking out about becoming a father? Does he realize that you are asking for empathy and support? There can be so many factors that play into his response. It would be helpful to answer these questions for yourself and discuss it with him. Good luck and I can certainly empathize with you.

bishigurlwcu · October 2011

I told my husband the other day I can't stand looking at raw meet cause it makes my tummy turn and he looked at me like I was stupid lol

MsMommyDoc · October 2011

bishigurlwcu:
I told my husband the other day I can't stand looking at raw meet cause it makes my tummy turn and he looked at me like I was stupid lol

What is it with beef? Even cooked I nearly vom! Ick!

heathie2010 · October 2011

My hubby got the Baby Bump app and is following right along with me. He's reading about how tired I'm supposed to be and about the mood swings, etc. He's so excited about the baby, he's practically doing everything for me so I can relax and sleep. I'm sure most of that is just the way he is, but it sure helps to have him reading all about how I'm feeling.

littleredfish · October 2011

I got this type of response for my first symptom which was opening a jar of PB and almost tossing my cookies right there (when I LOVE PB normally). Then when I mentioned it to him his response was "hmmm, maybe its just all in your head since you just found out". But when other symptoms started to pop up and he started educating himself more on them by reading online articles and books with me, he became more understanding. Maybe your hubs just needs a little more education on the issue too? Might help.

gisa886 · October 2011

cruelsound:

Well, to be honest, in a way he's right. If you feel bad now, you have got a whole new world of trouble ahead of you for the next 30+ weeks. If you are complaining now, I don't want to know what is going to be coming out of your mouth in a few months.

I get it, really. I've been pregnant, I'm pregnant now, I know what it's like to feel like shiit. But look at it from his perspective. What is he supposed to say? "Sorry"? If you need help, tell him that. If you need a nap and want him to make dinner instead, ask. But if you just complain about every little thing, not only is he going to run of out things to respond with, he's definitely not going to act like your latest symptom is the end of the world.

I'm sorry we only take comments that agree 100% with what we are thinking or feeling. Please try again later.

srs5624 · October 2011

deanna.w1984 · October 2011

Well, in my mind I'm not complaining. I am a very open-book type of person. Whatever I'm feeling, everyone knows, whether I super excited, scared, nervous, or in pain. I am definitely not the lady who thinks everyone should bow down to becuase I'm pregnant. I think a part of it is that I have barely told anyone so he is my confidant right now. I have also never been pregnant nor have I had any idea what all was involved in the first trimester. All of this is so new to me. I also definitely don't tell him every little thing that I'm feeling, if so, I really would be complaining.

After reading comments I have realized that my husband is a closed-book person and NEVER talks about his feelings. I don't think he really knows how to handle the situation and I think getting him to read up on some things will educate him more on what is going on in my body and why I am feeling that way that I am.

heathie2010 · October 2011

Well, you are the *** here, I find you quite rude.

I was just trying to say that he's been involved, wants to learn and has been very helpful. If you think that any of us feel like this is some kind of disability then you are sorely mistaken. Some of us have to work and have many other responsibilities and it's pretty awesome to have a hubby that'll do the dishes and make breakfast without having to be asked. I'm sorry that yours needs to have it spelled out.

Under.the.Rose · October 2011

cruelsound:
heathie2010:

Well, you are the *** here, I find you quite rude.

I was just trying to say that he's been involved, wants to learn and has been very helpful. If you think that any of us feel like this is some kind of disability then you are sorely mistaken. Some of us have to work and have many other responsibilities and it's pretty awesome to have a hubby that'll do the dishes and make breakfast without having to be asked. I'm sorry that yours needs to have it spelled out.

Honey, it's called communication. If your guy need a phone app to know how you are feeling then, well, I guess I feel sorry for you? Sure, why not.

Andplusalso, some of us have full-time jobs, a baby to take care of and are also pregnant. It's called life, it goes on regardless of what you have living in your uterus.

Here here.

gisa886 · October 2011

cruelsound:
heathie2010:

Well, you are the *** here, I find you quite rude.

I was just trying to say that he's been involved, wants to learn and has been very helpful. If you think that any of us feel like this is some kind of disability then you are sorely mistaken. Some of us have to work and have many other responsibilities and it's pretty awesome to have a hubby that'll do the dishes and make breakfast without having to be asked. I'm sorry that yours needs to have it spelled out.

Honey, it's called communication. If your guy need a phone app to know how you are feeling then, well, I guess I feel sorry for you? Sure, why not.

Andplusalso, some of us have full-time jobs, a baby to take care of and are also pregnant. It's called life, it goes on regardless of what you have living in your uterus.

I agree with cruel. Nothing she said was rude, it is just the truth. Why can't you talk to your husband and tell him how you feel without whining. My husband and I communicate. At the very beginning of this pregnancy I had a really upset stomach at night and he understood and took over putting our daughter to bed. I didn't nag or whine 24/7 I just told him I didn't feel well and asked him to help out. He did. It is called being a grown up.

heathie2010 · October 2011

cruelsound:
heathie2010:

Well, you are the *** here, I find you quite rude.

I was just trying to say that he's been involved, wants to learn and has been very helpful. If you think that any of us feel like this is some kind of disability then you are sorely mistaken. Some of us have to work and have many other responsibilities and it's pretty awesome to have a hubby that'll do the dishes and make breakfast without having to be asked. I'm sorry that yours needs to have it spelled out.

Honey, it's called communication. If your guy need a phone app to know how you are feeling then, well, I guess I feel sorry for you? Sure, why not.

Andplusalso, some of us have full-time jobs, a baby to take care of and are also pregnant. It's called life, it goes on regardless of what you have living in your uterus.

I never said he needed it, I had it and he wanted to follow along

Some of us, yes, do have full-jobs in addition to home businesses, in addition to children, in addition to many other things.

Actually i don't know why I'm defending myself to you. You very bitter woman and make it hard for those of us who are trying to help and be supportive of others to do so.

tinsleya · October 2011

cruelsound:
heathie2010:

Well, you are the *** here, I find you quite rude.

I was just trying to say that he's been involved, wants to learn and has been very helpful. If you think that any of us feel like this is some kind of disability then you are sorely mistaken. Some of us have to work and have many other responsibilities and it's pretty awesome to have a hubby that'll do the dishes and make breakfast without having to be asked. I'm sorry that yours needs to have it spelled out.

Honey, it's called communication. If your guy need a phone app to know how you are feeling then, well, I guess I feel sorry for you? Sure, why not.

Andplusalso, some of us have full-time jobs, a baby to take care of and are also pregnant. It's called life, it goes on regardless of what you have living in your uterus.

And yet you are flaming a first time mom on this board while you are supposedly working full time and caring for a child. Get off your high horse.

This board is for support not to be mean to others. You sound like a dude.

Mrs.DeliaMarieP · October 2011

My DH has never been the most empathetic person in the whole wide world, so when I need a hug, I just ask for it now rather than expect him make that move on his own, then when he ask's why, I tell him I feel like crap and just needed a hug.

It works much better that way because he didn't have to initiate and I don't have to get mad when he doesn't think of it.

srs5624 · October 2011

heathie2010:
cruelsound:
heathie2010:

Well, you are the *** here, I find you quite rude.

I was just trying to say that he's been involved, wants to learn and has been very helpful. If you think that any of us feel like this is some kind of disability then you are sorely mistaken. Some of us have to work and have many other responsibilities and it's pretty awesome to have a hubby that'll do the dishes and make breakfast without having to be asked. I'm sorry that yours needs to have it spelled out.

Honey, it's called communication. If your guy need a phone app to know how you are feeling then, well, I guess I feel sorry for you? Sure, why not.

Andplusalso, some of us have full-time jobs, a baby to take care of and are also pregnant. It's called life, it goes on regardless of what you have living in your uterus.

I never said he needed it, I had it and he wanted to follow along

Some of us, yes, do have full-jobs in addition to home businesses, in addition to children, in addition to many other things.

Actually i don't know why I'm defending myself to you. You very bitter woman and make it hard for those of us who are trying to help and be supportive of others to do so.

Supportive =/= blowing glittery unicorn farts up your ass

Sometimes, being supportive means telling you the blunt, honest truth so you can get off your high horse, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and move on with life.

Oh, and the Bump is not here for support. See those ads on the side? The Bump is here to make money. Just an FYI.

Christina_Diane · October 2011

No. Mine was completely understanding. For me, weeks 6-10 were horrible. MH and I read and researched the stymptoms together. We both knew that the tough stuff of the first trimester wouldn't last forever.

bumpuser260585 · October 2011

I really suggest this book. https://www.amazon.com/Your-Pregnancy-Father---Be-Everything/dp/B0023RT08G/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1317917116&sr=8-1

It isn't very big, so my DH actually read it and it broke things down so he could understand.

Communicate now because things will only get more stressful after the baby arrives.

ljeckes · October 2011

I can see both sides of this. In my first pregnancy I was wishing DH would just *try* to understand what I was going through. But wishing doesn't do anything. Because of people who tell you the truth on here, I thought, "Duh!" Of course he doesn't know what I'm feeling - he NEVER will. But that shouldn't be a barrier by any means. Once I opened up to him about how I was feeling and asking him to help with things because I couldn't pull my head out of the toilet, he was more than happy to step up - all because I talked to him & didn't expect him to understand, i just expected his help.

This time around he knows what to expect from me and where he needs to be "filling in". This journey of frustration & not understanding each other doesn't stop once the baby is born - it's continues, but gets so much easier with communication. It's already been said but life goes on. Our DD doesn't get that I feel sick all day. We own our own business & we're there 9-10 hours daily no matter how tired I am. So talk to him now, like others have said, and don't expect him to completely understand. He can't.

QueenofAnything · October 2011

cruelsound:
heathie2010:

Well, you are the *** here, I find you quite rude.

I was just trying to say that he's been involved, wants to learn and has been very helpful. If you think that any of us feel like this is some kind of disability then you are sorely mistaken. Some of us have to work and have many other responsibilities and it's pretty awesome to have a hubby that'll do the dishes and make breakfast without having to be asked. I'm sorry that yours needs to have it spelled out.

Honey, it's called communication. If your guy need a phone app to know how you are feeling then, well, I guess I feel sorry for you? Sure, why not.

Andplusalso, some of us have full-time jobs, a baby to take care of and are also pregnant. It's called life, it goes on regardless of what you have living in your uterus.

I think I love you. You might be the most rational person I've seen on the bump!

heathie2010 · October 2011

Wow. I seem to have wandered into the land of hormonal bitches.

MrsFelts · October 2011

heathie2010:
My hubby got the Baby Bump app and is following right along with me. He's reading about how tired I'm supposed to be and about the mood swings, etc. He's so excited about the baby, he's practically doing everything for me so I can relax and sleep. I'm sure most of that is just the way he is, but it sure helps to have him reading all about how I'm feeling.

I understand what you're saying. My DH knows I'm not making any of my symptoms up and he sympathizes with me, but reading in a book or on his pregnancy app (which he has too) helped him realize that it's not just me, a lot of pregnant women have the same symptoms and it's common. He also reads ahead in the books sometimes to know what we can expect in the next few weeks, how the baby is changing, etc.

candr09 · October 2011

I agree with cruel on all accounts.

Yes

cwie828 · October 2011

I hate to say this, but my husband is just not very open minded about some things. When he is sick, it is the end of the damn world...but anyone else, he just kinda shrugs it off. I think it is more so a man thing. Lol.

I have been having every symptom in the book. And mostly just pure and utter exhaustion. I work retail, so I am on my feet for 6-8 hours a day. I come home and my back hurts, my feet hurt and I am just done. When I told him I felt ready to pass out all the time, his response was , "well you stopped drinking caffeine so that's probably why." Uhm....I love him to death but really?!

I have tried to stop complaining to him as well because I feel like he just does not "get it" I am sorry you're going through this too! I know our husbands love us, they just cannot relate. Kinda like how we get PMS and they freak out. Guess that's what The Bump is for! We're here for ya!

Legallyshe · October 2011

My DH is not the most empathetic person in the world, either. In fact, after one of my first emotional moments (a mild one, IMO) he asked me if I was "milking it". This was after his sister (who already has 2 children) tried to fill him in on what to expect.

However, after he started researching on his own (reading some daddy literature, watched a DVD, AND got an app), he's been so much more supportive. I don't complain a lot and I don't expect him to wait on me hand and foot, but when I shared some unpleasant medical billing news with him which I was sure he'd be upset about (I was upset, myself), his response was very much even-keeled & like "no worries, we can handle this". I appreciated that very much in that moment.

FourWeddingsbride · October 2011

MY HUSBAND IS THE SAME WAY! It's drving me crazy! Yesterday I had a migraine the entire day long and he has the nerve to ask me a financial question (which I can't stand) that he could of answered himself by the way and of course he didnt like my answer (which yes was a bit snippy) so it turned into this long drawn out convo which was not helping my migraine. I wanted to scream. Really wish he would get it...get that even if I don't have a belly I AM PREGNANT.

Molluskwrangler · October 2011

GhostMonkey:
I can't believe what unsupportive fvckwads some of you are married to. My husband allowed me to whine non-stop and never once complained or made me lift a finger.

You should leave them now. Pretty pregnant princesses should be waited on hand and foot.

Word to your mother.

bigtex11 · October 2011

I want to say that cruel and her cronies have no idea what the op is feeling and if it bothers them, they should find another board. The op was just expressing her feelings which is allowed and expected on the bump.

bigtex11 · October 2011

cruelsound:
bigtex11:

I want to say that cruel and her cronies have no idea what the op is feeling and if it bothers them, they should find another board. The op was just expressing her feelings which is allowed and expected on the bump.

And praytell, dear Tex, how exactly do you know what I'm feeling?

Well as this wasn't your post, I would say that it doesn't really matter how you feel...in the nicest way possible.

CupcakeKaper · October 2011

bigtex11:
cruelsound:
bigtex11:

I want to say that cruel and her cronies have no idea what the op is feeling and if it bothers them, they should find another board. The op was just expressing her feelings which is allowed and expected on the bump.

And praytell, dear Tex, how exactly do you know what I'm feeling?

Well as this wasn't your post, I would say that it doesn't really matter how you feel...in the nicest way possible.

If it doesn't matter what other people think or feel about something, why bother posting in the first place? So OP can have her own opinion but Cruel can't?

ETA: My two favorite bump things happened in this thread: The "I feel sorry for your babies" and the "TB is here for support." My day is now complete kthanks

saenastarsley · October 2011

Honestly, I'm having the opposite problem with my fiance. If I tell him any complaint, he fawns. He makes me lie down, won't let me lift anything, won't even let me take the dog out for a walk. It's starting to get incredibly irritating so I've decided to keep my mouth shut unless I feel something really bad going on.

Molluskwrangler · October 2011

CupcakeKaper:
bigtex11:
cruelsound:
bigtex11:

I want to say that cruel and her cronies have no idea what the op is feeling and if it bothers them, they should find another board. The op was just expressing her feelings which is allowed and expected on the bump.

And praytell, dear Tex, how exactly do you know what I'm feeling?

Well as this wasn't your post, I would say that it doesn't really matter how you feel...in the nicest way possible.
If it doesn't matter what other people think or feel about something, why bother posting in the first place? So OP can have her own opinion but Cruel can't?
ETA: My two favorite bump things happened in this thread: The "I feel sorry for your babies" and the "TB is here for support." My day is now complete kthanks

I'm holding out for the karma will get you line and then thread will be cliche complete for me.

maccalovah · October 2011

Molluskwrangler:
CupcakeKaper:
bigtex11:
cruelsound:
bigtex11:

I want to say that cruel and her cronies have no idea what the op is feeling and if it bothers them, they should find another board. The op was just expressing her feelings which is allowed and expected on the bump.

And praytell, dear Tex, how exactly do you know what I'm feeling?

Well as this wasn't your post, I would say that it doesn't really matter how you feel...in the nicest way possible.

If it doesn't matter what other people think or feel about something, why bother posting in the first place? So OP can have her own opinion but Cruel can't?

ETA: My two favorite bump things happened in this thread: The "I feel sorry for your babies" and the "TB is here for support." My day is now complete kthanks

I'm holding out for the karma will get you line and then thread will be cliche complete for me.

This!

But I'm kind of glad this thread took this turn, it's been quite entertaining to follow....

bigtex11 · October 2011

GhostMonkey:
bigtex11:
cruelsound:
bigtex11:

I want to say that cruel and her cronies have no idea what the op is feeling and if it bothers them, they should find another board. The op was just expressing her feelings which is allowed and expected on the bump.

And praytell, dear Tex, how exactly do you know what I'm feeling?

Well as this wasn't your post, I would say that it doesn't really matter how you feel...in the nicest way possible.

Is that like saying "with all due respect..."? Because if it is, it wins you the Hypocrite of the Day award.

I know how the OP feels. And she needs to check herself before she wrecks herself because she has a lot of pregnancy left and the fun is just starting. She may not have to worry about his opinion if she keeps whining about every little thing because he may not be around to listen to her piss and moan about it.

It was actually meant as sarcasm...way to be quick on the up take. Also, the OP didn't ask for any of your opinions, she asked for personal expriences....talk about a bunch of p!ssing and moaning!

GreenFlamingo7 · October 2011

Sorry that some of you have husbands that completely suck...and you need to find support on a message board re: their sucking.

Perhaps you should entertain the idea of communicating more with your spouses? I think it's hilarious you ladies are getting pissed at Cruella and others when you should be pissed at your husbands for being insensitive dicks.

CupcakeKaper · October 2011

GreenFlamingo7:
Sorry that some of you have husbands that completely suck...and you need to find support on a message board re: their sucking.

Perhaps you should entertain the idea of communicating more with your spouses? I think it's hilarious you ladies are getting pissed at Cruella and others when you should be pissed at your husbands for being insensitive dicks.

Quick! Mollusk we need the oh snap!!

FlashMeyer · October 2011

Honey, wait until the end of the 3rd trimester. The 1st tri is easy compared to the 3rd.

bigtex11 · October 2011

GhostMonkey:
bigtex11:
GhostMonkey:
bigtex11:
cruelsound:
bigtex11:

I want to say that cruel and her cronies have no idea what the op is feeling and if it bothers them, they should find another board. The op was just expressing her feelings which is allowed and expected on the bump.

And praytell, dear Tex, how exactly do you know what I'm feeling?

Well as this wasn't your post, I would say that it doesn't really matter how you feel...in the nicest way possible.

Is that like saying "with all due respect..."? Because if it is, it wins you the Hypocrite of the Day award.

I know how the OP feels. And she needs to check herself before she wrecks herself because she has a lot of pregnancy left and the fun is just starting. She may not have to worry about his opinion if she keeps whining about every little thing because he may not be around to listen to her piss and moan about it.

It was actually meant as sarcasm...way to be quick on the up take. Also, the OP didn't ask for any of your opinions, she asked for personal expriences....talk about a bunch of p!ssing and moaning!

I suggest you consult a dictionary. I don't think you quite grasp the meaning of that word or the proper use.

Ouch! Actually it would be you that need the dictionary. Thanks for trying to help though!

JerkStore213 · October 2011

I have a baby! Does anyone want to ask me for advice? I know everything ever about babies and baing pregnant. And my husband can be a big bagadoosh sometimes, so ASK. ME. ANYTHING!

(cupkae, the trifecta is now complete!)

GreenFlamingo7 · October 2011

JerkStore213:

I have a baby! Does anyone want to ask me for advice? I know everything ever about babies and baing pregnant. And my husband can be a big bagadoosh sometimes, so ASK. ME. ANYTHING!

(cupkae, the trifecta is now complete!)

Wait, no, there's more! No one is sorry for anyone's child in this post thread.

LoveMaBaybee · October 2011

I got my DH Husband/Father for Dummies and he is WAY better than before!

Want a personalized experience?

Is anyone else having this issue their hubby?

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