Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Follow up to delayed consequences post
With the caveat that I am not certified in early childhood development, this school sounds like a bad fit for my DS at least. I prefer a play-based curriculum for early childhood. A year ahead sounds like it wouldn't be developmentally appropriate for my son at least. I'm having heartburn over the schools in our area teaching reading in Kindergarten. I just feel it isn't appropriate until first grade. Pre-school kids learn by playing.
Just my 2 cents....
I read your post this morning, but it was too hard to reply on my BB.
I'd look for another preschool - I'm not sure what the point of teaching an "accelerated" curriculum is for pre-school; what's the rush? I think there should be some structure for kids in preschool, but I wouldn't like to see my DD doing worksheets on any kind of regular basis. they need to touch and experience things in the real world, not learn to hold a piece of paper. Our 3 yo program doesn't do anything w/ writing or worksheets until the 4s room.
I'd also REALLY try to work on your husband's attitude. As everyone says, there is a VAST span of "normal" development and think that your kid is an "outlier" and treating her that way - especially at this early age, could really have far reaching consquences.
I don't personally think the 1:12 ratio is a big deal, it would be nice if it were smaller, but that wouldn't be a deal changer for me.
I actually have started looking at some of the other preschools in our area. We have two Montessori schools close by, and I read up on their programs and theories and am considering those as a possible fit for my DD. I know they have a specific approach but on the surface it seems like it might be a good option for us. There is also at least one other "regular" preschool (it's a standalone school) as well as a couple of other church-based preschools like the one my DD is at right now. I have no idea how easy it will be to switch or find openings now that the year has started but I can at least explore my options while we give this a little more time. I'm thinking that perhaps if I don't make such a big deal about it she may be more cooperative - she is really testing me and DH a lot right now, checking her limits, and sometime she is contrary just for the sake of it. I think it is possible that if I don't give her the attention for this maybe she won't bother any more (hey, it's worth a shot, right?).
As for DH - I am definitely working on his attitude. I really challenged him on what he was basing his assumptions on that she's the only kid who isn't behaving in school - he has never observed the other kids, doesn't know any of them or their parents, and it's not like her teacher can tell us about any other kids giving her trouble, so how does he know? He keeps getting hung up by the fact that in her summer soccer program she was usually off doing her own thing instead of chasing the ball with the rest of the kids, but I think that's because soccer didn't interest her that much. She can focus extremely well when it's something she's interested in, but if she is bored then she is very easily distracted - seems normal to me for her age!
I sort of understand one of his points, which is that he is afraid that we may be denying reality and making excuses for her instead of dealing with potential issues, and he feels that her teachers would know more about kids her age than us, since she's our first. But I believe that we know our daughter better than her teachers do, at least this early in the year. She is smart and active and strong willed, and yes, it is possible that in a group of 12 kids she is the only one who won't sit still and listen when she gets bored. That doesn't mean she is abnormal or a problem child! After reading a lot of the responses to my posts, I am feeling kind of frustrated that it doesn't seem like her teacher is doing anything creative to engage her or address the source of her distraction. Yet another reason I'm thinking about finding another school.
OK, sorry - this is has been so front and center in my thoughts lately, it's helping to get it all out there. Thanks again for the helpful feedback!!
RoxBride - they use the year-ahead approach in all their classes. I have been trying to find the name of the specific curriculum they told us they use, but basically, they start at the 2 year old class where they teach whatever this curriculum has designated for 3 year olds. My DD was in the 2s last year and did pretty well for the most part. They worked on basic shapes, colors, letters, and numbers, and it seemed like they got a fair amount of time to play in centers; they also took a nap. This year, in the 3s class, she is working on writing letters and is learning the different sounds they make (short vs long vowels), she has worked on writing straight lines and circles and other shapes. She is also learning about the calendar. They do something called Saxon worksheets each day, they have Spanish class, music class and computer class once a week, and they do not nap anymore. They do get time outside in the playground and have PE once a week, but they don't really have much free play time. Her teacher explained they do circle time a few different times a day.
Actually my DD is doing well so far with the worksheets - she has brought home several papers where she has drawn straight lines down the page and she traced a capital A and small a very well. She sings songs that she learned in school and she seems to remember the stuff she is being taught. I feel like she can handle the academic part of this class but is maybe not quite mature enough or emotionally ready for the discipline required to actually be "taught" as opposed to learning through play.
I think your instincts are right and you should absolutely trust them. I don't know if I have anything different to say as far as the curriculum is concerned. My only comment would be that school is supposed to be a positive experience. She needs to be at a school that she (and you) are comfortable with so, she has a positive association with school and grows to love learning. Being challenged is certainly good, but not to the point were it can make a child feel inadequate.
Hope this helps:)
You know your child best. Teachers see children in a specific light and do not see their behavior in different settings. Most 3 year olds have trouble listening and are off doing their own thing. It sounds like you are very intuned with your daughter's behaviors and are not trying to avoid "reality". The pre-school program sonds intense and I know my son would not be successful in a similar classroom either. Just my thoughts!