Bedtime routines - who knew!?

KellyMRocks · October 2011

Ok, so all you B-words knew.

I just started a routine with Winter, and solidified/changed G's routine.

Winnie has always gone to sleep late, Usually 10 or 11, sometimes 1am! It has been driving me nuts. Bed time is full of fights, and with DH gone, I new it would drive me to the brink.

A big issue was that part of my routine with G is to check on him every 15 minutes until he is asleep. Also him fighting bedtime, calling for me, pulling at my heart strings about missing daddy. None of this was condusive to getting Winter to sleep. Add to that, I would nurse her on the couch while watching TV, not very relaxing.

The night before DH left, I had a very serious talk with G about having "Peaceful Bedtimes". It included a bribe. Not one I am proud of (15 minutes of Wii play the next day if he does well) but one I am willing to take if it saves some stress.

New routine is that Bedtime rituals for G start at 7:45, in bed at 8:30. At that time, I give Winter her bath. When that is done (usually by 8:45), I will check on Grey. Then I get Winter in her jammies, put on some Iron & Wine, nurse her down in bed. I am putting her down on DH's side of the bed, because G can see it from *his* bed. Instead of calling for me, he just looks and I give him a wave. This seems to be enough for him.

The first night he called for me, and did not earn his Wii privileges. Night two, he simply waved back. Once Winnie was asleep, I went to talk to him and said, "See, wasn't that easy?" and he was super happy. He woke up this morning saying, "Mom, did I have a peaceful bedtime!?" STOKED.

BUTBUTBUT, the best part...both nights, Winter was asleep by 9PM! NINEPM! This is like a record! I did not have any expectations of her actually going to sleep at that time. Especially because Sunday she had a late nap (2 - 4:30).

I am breathing a huge sigh of relief.

Lexi & Orion's Mommy · October 2011

here is the kicker, are YOU sleeping?

KellyMRocks · October 2011

Lexi & Orion's Mommy:
here is the kicker, are YOU sleeping?

I did go to bed a bit earlier than usual. I still wake up several times a night. Winter is still night nursing, we are going to be working on that next...

bunch · October 2011

Awesome!!! Them kids love those routines! As a fellow night-owl, I feel ya, but it feels terrific to me to get a few hours "off" every night. May the kiddos continue to have peaceful bedtimes!

btw- remember how like 6 months ago I asked about night weaning L? Yeah... we're still working on that... Hope it works out better for you!

My.ABC.Life · October 2011

Woot woot!! Glad they are adjusting so easily for you!!

futrkingsley · October 2011

Yay Kelly! Expectations are important and making them clear (even when I thought they already were) is important too. It's when I slack on routine and expectations that things are most difficult.

As for night weaning, good luck, again. My boy was a really dedicated night nurser for a LONG time. And I had no desire to have a fight with him about it in the dark when I could be sleeping so I did virtually nothing about it. I swear to you that he eventually outgrew it on his own. He stopped nursing at all hours of the night at around 18 months (but would then lie away for hours in the dark, periodically checking to make sure I was awake with him). About 2, if he woke up he could go back to sleep. Once he dropped his nap at 2 and a quarter, he started going to bed at a decent hour again and staying asleep about half the time. Now at 3+, if he has trouble at bedtime or in the middle of the night, he wants firm touch (massage, head rubbing).

KellyMRocks · October 2011

futrkingsley:
Yay Kelly! Expectations are important and making them clear (even when I thought they already were) is important too. It's when I slack on routine and expectations that things are most difficult.

As for night weaning, good luck, again. My boy was a really dedicated night nurser for a LONG time. And I had no desire to have a fight with him about it in the dark when I could be sleeping so I did virtually nothing about it. I swear to you that he eventually outgrew it on his own. He stopped nursing at all hours of the night at around 18 months (but would then lie away for hours in the dark, periodically checking to make sure I was awake with him). About 2, if he woke up he could go back to sleep. Once he dropped his nap at 2 and a quarter, he started going to bed at a decent hour again and staying asleep about half the time. Now at 3+, if he has trouble at bedtime or in the middle of the night, he wants firm touch (massage, head rubbing).

I tried 6 months ago. it was a disaster. So here we go again.

kittylove · October 2011

Wow that is huge for you guys. Good job W and G!

m&m818 · October 2011

Glad you found something that worked for you!

futrkingsley · October 2011

KellyMRocks:
futrkingsley:

Yay Kelly! Expectations are important and making them clear (even when I thought they already were) is important too. It's when I slack on routine and expectations that things are most difficult.

As for night weaning, good luck, again. My boy was a really dedicated night nurser for a LONG time. And I had no desire to have a fight with him about it in the dark when I could be sleeping so I did virtually nothing about it. I swear to you that he eventually outgrew it on his own. He stopped nursing at all hours of the night at around 18 months (but would then lie away for hours in the dark, periodically checking to make sure I was awake with him). About 2, if he woke up he could go back to sleep. Once he dropped his nap at 2 and a quarter, he started going to bed at a decent hour again and staying asleep about half the time. Now at 3+, if he has trouble at bedtime or in the middle of the night, he wants firm touch (massage, head rubbing).

I tried 6 months ago. it was a disaster. So here we go again.

I remember and I really do hope you have better luck this time. Nursing at all hours is hard and I totally get why someone would want that part to end. I know the process was hard on you and I hope that your attempts are easier this time. If she doesn't take to it like you hope, I also wanted to offer hope that eventually, even if you don't take active steps to change it for whatever reason, she will grow and let it go.

MommySteph2009 · October 2011

That is GREAT news K!! I am all for bedtime routines and easier sleep with a toddler, I know how hard it is for bedtime meltdowns. I hope it continues to work out for peaceful bedtimes for both.

Mrs.K&C · October 2011

KellyMRocks:
The night before DH left, I had a very serious talk with G about having "Peaceful Bedtimes". It included a bribe. Not one I am proud of (15 minutes of Wii play the next day if he does well) but one I am willing to take if it saves some stress.

Those are rewards, not bribes! Whatever works!

mommy2jay · October 2011

Yay! wishing you lots more peaceful bedtimes to come

mythreesons03 · October 2011

I saw bedtime routines and your name and I had to do a double take. J/K. I was much more relaxed with bedtime with Darrian, but I have found with the addition of Quincy and Miles that a routine is SO needed to keep my sanity and that the kids do really well on it. It is also nice to have the time to myself, or K and I after the kids go down to sleep.. win, win. Glad that the kids are doing so well with the changes and I hope it keeps up.

soon2Bkranz · October 2011

I am stealing the words peaceful bedtime...or days like today peaceful wake ups I think that is perfect! Thanks and congrats

KellyMRocks · October 2011

mythreesons03:
I saw bedtime routines and your name and I had to do a double take. J/K.

You funny ho

jsugrin · October 2011

That's awesome! I really love having "watched" the whole evolution of G's sleeping habits, he's very similar to my #1 as far as what he needs and what works for him and since G's a bit older it's been nice to watch you guys find your way and both steal some of your stuff and be able to take comfort in knowing that small steps in the right direction were going to get us, all of us, there eventually.

I just love when they take something so life altering ( IMO good sleep habits, getting to bed easily is waaaaaay life altering) and accomplish it with such pride! You know that pride is the best motivation on the planet.

I hope that the new routines make this tour easier on all of you.

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