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C-sections
Suggestions?!? Worried about DS feeling neglected after my 2nd section...
I am just wondering what suggestions 2nd + mommies who have had a c-section have for including DS 1 (under 2 years old) when I get home. I am so nervous that he will feel neglected and I won't be able to be there for him. It is honestly breaking my heart, because we are very close. I am worried he won't understand and I will feel helpless. I don't want him to develop resentment for his brother either...Thanks in advance! I am sure it will all work out. I am hoping we will have a lot of help.
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Re: Suggestions?!? Worried about DS feeling neglected after my 2nd section...
In the exact same boat. I don't have any advice, but my boys will be 21 months apart and I'm already sad thinking about my oldest feeling sad/neglected. I am not going to have a lot of help after DH goes back to work, so we'll just have to wing it.
As far as recovery goes (I don't know if you had a c-section last time), I was only really off my feet for 2 weeks, and after that I resumed much of my normal activity. I know I was lucky and had a good recovery, but it shouldn't be too long before we're back to playing with our toddlers again! The good news-- babies sleep a lot (or can be worn!), so juggling both kids should be doable.
This was my biggest worry as well. I still beat myself over the mommy guilt and it was completely unnecessary. After awhile your son will never remember life without his brother. Just take the time to sit and read a book or snuggle each day. That's all it will take.
When people come to visit after the new baby is born, ask them before they come to acknowledge your son before the baby. I would also get him a bag filled with new crayons, some coloring books, a new stuffed animal ect from the new baby and give it to him in the hospital.
Don't make the same mistake I did and find reasons to make yourself feel guilty....your son will not remember life without his little brother.
I was concerned about this as well but it went pretty good. I was able to lift DS#1 onto my lap right away and after a few days I was able to get down on the floor to sit and play with him which was actually more than I was able to do then in the last few weeks of my pregnancy so he was happy. I didn't have any issues lifting him into his crib or high chair. What did cause me pain was walking while carrying him so I limited this as much as possible and it felt better by about 2 weeks post surgery.
In short, I am going to try very hard to make sure he doesn't have any really big adjustments due to me being incapable of physically caring for him. We even started giving him naps in a toddler bed so when we need the crib, hopefully he will have abandoned it before our daughter comes.
the only thing that really seemed to matter to my 21 m/o DS after I brought DD home was that his schedule remain pretty much the same. He was already used to me not carrying him and picking him up bc of my belly, so that wasn't so different when I got home. He whined a little when I fed DD so I kept a basket of books near the couch and told him to bring me a book to read while I nursed. I used a boppy so that he could sit next to me and I would have a hand free to hold the book. Other than that, he was fine and really didn't care about his sister one Taylor the other at that age.
~Started TTC 2/09. BFP #1 11/09. EDD 8/7/10. DS born 8/7/10.~
~Surprise BFP #2 5/11 while still BF'ing. Natural M/C @ 7w3d.~
~BFP #3 8/11. EDD 4/24/12. Heavy bleeding episodes from a lost twin. DD born 4/14/12.~
~Started TTC 2/13. BFP #4 3/13. EDD 11/8/13. Hoping for smooth sailing!~