Coping with DH travel/ OOT family

Betts12 · October 2011

As a new SAHM, I'm going through a big adjustment period. However, I'm finding it especially difficult because DH travels frequently (3-4 nights at a time each week) and all of our family is out of town.

If anyone else in the same position or has been in this situation before, how did you cope? I've joined a local mom's group and have been trying to keep connecting with friends through lunches, etc. But, I just don't have anyone to lean on, for example, when it comes to asking someone to watch DS while I take an hour nap.

The_Jen626 · October 2011

I was in a similar position, and I made friends with several babysitters. Yes, I had to pay them $10-$12/hr, and that added up quickly, BUT it really helped me to stay sane and get some "me time".

ValAndRyan · October 2011

Honestly, I try and nap when LO naps or I drink lots of coffee and water if I have to get stuff done. I've made friends with other parents of my older son's sports teams but I also go to the library for story time with LO and talk to a few moms there. I have a sitter through the local college and she is great. I don't really call her too often but she's there when I need a quick break because it can be expensive.

dinnerfor2 · October 2011

Frequent babysitters. And a Mom's Day Out program. It's the only way to stay sane.

Stacyc625 · October 2011

you can't do MDO with a 4 mo old- to the PP.

Sleep when your baby sleeps- if you need a nap.

You will find your groove.

I don't have any local help/family and A LOT of our (ladies on this board) DH's travel/work long hours

Betts12 · October 2011

The problem is that DS has just started cutting way back on his naps. No longer are there several hour-long naps. Yesterday and today each have had two naps...of a half hour each. I'm at my wits end...hence the post. Ugh.

Stacyc625 · October 2011

as babies get older they do take shorter naps-

by 6 months- baby should be on a pretty routine 2-3-4 routine taking 2 naps a day.

Just comes with the territory.

jnksmom · October 2011

We had no family in town and DH worked long hours when DD was a newborn. We moved when I was 6 months pg with her so I still didn't know anyone there either. She had colic which was terrible and I was exhausted. I tried to sleep when her and DS were both sleeping. It got better around 4 months and we found our groove.

Is hiring a babysitter or a mother's helper an option for you?

laney75 · October 2011

Betts12:
The problem is that DS has just started cutting way back on his naps. No longer are there several hour-long naps. Yesterday and today each have had two naps...of a half hour each. I'm at my wits end...hence the post. Ugh.

You are approaching the time when many babies drop a lot of their daytime sleep and some drop all naps and you have to teach them how to nap, basically. It is super frustrating and most of us have been there. If you haven't already, get some books on sleep. I always recommend, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. You will learn a ton about baby's sleep, including nighttime and how to get him/her on the right track. Once nighttime falls into place, you will be sleeping better, so then you'll require less sleep/nap time during the day. Napping can get frustrating, hang in there. Like you, my husband travels for work and I don't have any family nearby to help. It kind of sucks but you will figure it out.

Hang in there!

angelakh · October 2011

I was/am in the same boat. We moved when DD was 1 month old and then again this past January. DH regularly is oot a couple days a week. It does get easier. Making friends helps, try moms groups on Meetup.com or a local MOPS group. MOPS is great since you get a break from LO. As far as sleep goes, just try your best. The first few months I didn't worry if the laundry was done, floors vacuumed, dinner cooked, etc. I would recommend sleep training as soon as your LO is ready. That is the one regret I have, we waited way too long!

lilone_06 · October 2011

laney75:
Betts12:
The problem is that DS has just started cutting way back on his naps. No longer are there several hour-long naps. Yesterday and today each have had two naps...of a half hour each. I'm at my wits end...hence the post. Ugh.
You are approaching the time when many babies drop a lot of their daytime sleep and some drop all naps and you have to teach them how to nap, basically. It is super frustrating and most of us have been there. If you haven't already, get some books on sleep. I always recommend, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. You will learn a ton about baby's sleep, including nighttime and how to get him/her on the right track. Once nighttime falls into place, you will be sleeping better, so then you'll require less sleep/nap time during the day. Napping can get frustrating, hang in there. Like you, my husband travels for work and I don't have any family nearby to help. It kind of sucks but you will figure it out.
Hang in there!

I agree with all of this - devote your time and energy to getting your LO on a good sleep schedule. I used No Cry Sleep Solution. As far as DH OOT and no family around, that's me too, but I also have some sitters I can call on in a pinch, girls in Kinder twice a week so am home only with LO and nap then if I need it, and lots of mom friends to get out with on a regular basis.

Betts12 · October 2011

Thanks for all the support.

I have read and tried to follow Healthy Sleep Habits. His nighttime sleep is pretty good. Just the past week where the naps have gone from 3x/ day at at least an hour each to 2x/day for a half hour each. I guess I just need to power through. And, I guess I'll start to look into a babysitter or mother's helper.

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