What do you call your MIL?

Yules · September 2011

About a year after H and I got married, his Mom suggested that I call her "Mom". Not knowing how to respond at the time I agreed. This decision is regrettable. When her and my Mom are in the same place together, its confusing and annoying having to call them Mom and then adding a last name at the end.

Additionally, the relationship I have with my Mom will never compare to the one with my MIL. It feels weird calling them both the same name. Also, my H calls both of my parents by their 1st name.

Would it be weird to ask if I can call my MIL by her 1st name after 4 years of H and I being married? I have no problem calling my FIL Pops because I call my own father Dad. It's only the "Mom" thing that's bothering me.

How do you guys refer to your MILs?

KaylaO1024 · September 2011

First name, it would make me feel weird to call someone else mom.

jessie395 · September 2011

My MIL passed away in '99, but I always called her by her first name.

KoalaBear103 · September 2011

I call MIL by her first name. I'd never agree to call her mom-we don't always get along the best!

I don't think it'd be a big deal to just start calling her by her name (or by something else other than mom) and if she says something just explain to her why

JaimeCH · September 2011

By her first name. I feel like calling anyone else "mom" other than my own mother would be awkward.

Kara5109 · September 2011

KaylaO1024:
First name, it would make me feel weird to call someone else mom.

This. Plus, I don't exactly love my MIL.

SparkleTart · September 2011

This post got me thinking, I don't know that I've ever called MIL anything

If I did, I would call her by her first name.

KelzinBoston · September 2011

At my bridal shower after a bottle of wine, my MIL requested I call her "Mom" and I said ok.

In truth, I've never called her Mom, I prefer to call her by her first name...but it helps that when the kids are around I can just refer to her as "Grammy" most of the time.

gisa886 · September 2011

I call them by their first names. I do this mostly because my SIL's husband is 21 years older than me and calls them by their first name. It would be weird for him to call them mom and dad because he is much closer to them in age and if one of us isn't calling them mom and dad the other sure isn't going to.

MSC03 · September 2011

Unless you think it'll upset her, I would just start calling her by her first name.

I always referred to my MIL by her first name, but now that Lilly's around she gets called Grandma a lot. It's actually sort of rare that I actually need to call her by name, though.

sodelish · September 2011

She asked me to call her mom but I can't do it.

When we asked her what she wanted Morgan to call her she said, "Just Grandma". So now I call her "Just Grandma". Or, "Your mother", when I'm referring to her to Matt.

KaylaO1024 · September 2011

Kara5109:
KaylaO1024:
First name, it would make me feel weird to call someone else mom.
This. Plus, I don't exactly love my MIL.

Same here, she's a weirdo

[Deleted User] · September 2011

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scoutkate · September 2011

I call her by her first name or Mimi, which is her grandmother name.

karen_loy · September 2011

KaylaO1024:
First name, it would make me feel weird to call someone else mom.

this, besides I don't like her that much so we just keep a "cordial" relationship

nanabanana06 · September 2011

Is it sad that I don't even remember my soon to be MIL's first name? If I did then that is what I would call her. I don't do the "Mom" thing. However, it's big in my family. My dad always called my grandma Mom (his real mom died when I was 3). So to me it's normal. I just couldn't do it.

On a side note. I used to call my ex MIL the "Wicked B!tch of the West". I still do actually or crazycakes. She was the one who had the real inventive names for me. Her favorite was Ho-face. Oh thank god she is gone...

sawyerthedestroyer · September 2011

First names. I love them to death, but we're not close enough for "mom" and "dad."

RunningWife · September 2011

I call her by her first name.

Logan will refer to her as "Nana".

Amaryllis619 · September 2011

I call my MIL "mom" and my FIL "dad". I see it as a term of endearment for them. My DH also calls my parent's "mom" and "dad". Both sets of parents would be horribly hurt if we didn't do this, and it feels right for us.

but if you don't feel comfortable, I agree with others and just call her by her first name.

Genevieve14 · September 2011

KaylaO1024:
First name, it would make me feel weird to call someone else mom.

Exactly this.

nadinethequeen01 · September 2011

First name.

seahorse102410 · September 2011

Call her by her first name or whatever she wants your son to call her. We're a nickname family so I don't call my own mom "mom" though either.

Kitiara5512 · September 2011

DH and I call each other's parents by their first names - anything else would feel fake and contrived. My sister and BIL, however, call each others parents mom and dad too. However, there has never been a mixup on that even when all parties are under the same roof.

wife1014 · September 2011

I call both (step MIL and MIL) of them by their first names.

Nephs13 · September 2011

I call my in-laws "Mom" and "Dad", unless my parents also happen to be around, then I refer to them by their first name to make it less confusing. We are all extremely close, so it feels pretty natural at this point. I still tend to call my own mother "Mama" or "Mommy" though, and my father is "Daddy" so I guess they have that special distinction to me. I also have nicknames for my parents that I regularly use that are too embarrassing to write on here.

Yules · September 2011

Okay, so 1st name basis seem like the norm. I don't know why she ever put me on the spot this way and asked me to call her Mom. I doubt that it was because she was feeling close to me. I also remember that when H's grandma was still alive, MIL just called her "Nan". So I may just call her Nana when LO is around and when we're 1 on 1 I'm going for the 1st name. If she asks, I'll tell her it's to prevent confusion when her and my Mom are in the same place.

shakes · September 2011

Mom, and I hate it. But it is what it is b/c it's "The Polish way!!". It was appropriate back in the day. I made the mistake of calling her by her first name once, to get her attention...it was weeks of biitching about how rude I am. I can't win with this one.

write2nicole · September 2011

First name, but I don't think it matters what we do.

If you want to switch to first name, or "Mrs. Initial" or "Mrs. Lastname," do what's comfortable. It might be awkward the first few times, or if she asks you about it, but then you'll explain it and it's over.

Continuing to call her "Mom" will just be awkward for the next how many decades?

OctoberBabyH · September 2011

I call them by their first names. Would it be weird if you talked to your MIL about it?

SeussicalOne · September 2011

Mom because FIL doesn't like any kids (even ILs) to call them by their first names. So it was either call them Mom and Dad or Mr. and Mrs. L (which is what my youngest SIL calls them but to me if it's family it shouldn't need to be Mr./Mrs.). Older SIL calls them by their first names cause she's a rebel like that. I try to avoid actually calling them anything, though, which is pretty easy since we never see them and I rarely call them up on my own to speak with them. Anytime DS is around I just refer to them as Abuelita or Grand Dad and avoid the Mom/Dad thing.

cndmexbaby · September 2011

My mom calls her MIL mom which I think is odd. I would never in a million years call my MIL mom. I call her by her first name.

hoping4sticky · September 2011

I think I went years without calling her anything because it was just easier. Nothing like calling to give her an update on her deployed son - "Hi it's A". I've given in and called her by her first name - don't know why it was so weird. Mom would be very weird to me though.

lucisparents · September 2011

We use first names or nana and meme. But only my mom is called mom. My DH loves my mom but still wouldn't call her that.

erind0213 · September 2011

By her first name... and on occasion other things that are not nice Devil .

We don't get a long and for that reason I can't bear to call her mom, she and I will never have the relationship my mom and I do, and would not disrespect my mom by calling/referring to somebody who is not a nice person as mom.

My one BIL and SIL call my mom, mom though.

To each their own, i guess it depends on the relationships.

chach916 · September 2011

I call her by her first name, but I think she would like me to call her mom.

Why don't you start calling her Grandma?

Under.the.Rose · September 2011

Honestly, I avoid calling her anything... but if I have to call her something, I call her "mom" but I feel like I'm kind of choking on the word. It's strange to me. I don't think it's rude to ask her if you could switch it up.

hopkins5 · September 2011

I call her by her first name

aluminium · September 2011

Yules:
How do you guys refer to your MILs?

You mean, to her face?

I kid. I call her by her first name. I know she would prefer for me to call her mom, but I really can't bring myself to do that. I love my mom.

Yules · September 2011

OctoberBabyH:
I call them by their first names. Would it be weird if you talked to your MIL about it?

I think it would be, unfortunately. We've never had an outright conflict, but there's always tension int he air lately. She has a strong opinion about everything, and I'm just getting tired and giving my own opinions right back at her. (Whether I feel strongly about the topic or not).

If I decided to have this discussion with her right now, she would think that it's because of recent tension and not because it's been bothering me for years. It's my own fault that I ever agreed to it in the 1st place

Yules · September 2011

Under.the.Rose:
I call her "mom" but I feel like I'm kind of choking on the word. It's strange to me.

Same here, I so wish I could just go back in time and stick with Mrs.____. First name basis would be even better. My H started the 1st name thing immediately, why can't all parents be this easy going and be okay with it.

ETyorkin · September 2011

I didn't read everyone's post, but I don't call my IL's anything. They wanted me to call them Mom and Dad and I was not okay with that because I have my own MOM AND DAD and it was weird and they don't want me to use their first names because it's "disrespectful" in their community, so I just call them nothing. I'm just like "Hey how are you???"

and Yules - I felt even WEIRDER called them by imya ochestva!

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