s/o - what age to start drop off birthday parties?

howleyshell · September 2011

I noticed that a pre-school mom dropped off her then 4 year old at a party and left.

She has an older child so I figured it was just more her norm but all of the other moms stayed.

When do drop off parties start and how do you know you're NOT supposed to stay?

littlemermaid · September 2011

I never dropped off my kids at a party at that young of an age if they were just a classmate and I didn't know both parents really well. If I was friends with the parents and my child has had playdates with them then I wouldn't have a problem dropping off. Most of the parties my kids attend are at public places(bowling, bounce houses..etc) so it's never been an issue for me to stay. I have always let the hostess know that I was going to stay when I RSVP'd.

JOEBunny · September 2011

I started drop off parties at 4, I wasn't inviting the whole class though, just 6 or 8 friends kids. I much prefer drop off. The kids just behave better. I had one parent stay and her kid and I really wanted to kick her out. Her DD was awful compared to the other children.

HarrietNJMommy · September 2011

5 is the drop off age around here, and it totally depends on what "type" of party it is.

My oldest had a drop-off birthday party last year at a pottery place and I really did it because the parents did NOT fit in the space.......only a few parents stayed behind......

howleyshell · September 2011

So how do you communicate that it's drop off?

Do you say it in the invite?

Or just make it obvious when the parents arrive with the kids?

jerol · September 2011

I was thinking it would be 5....but then at all the parties DD went to the parents stayed so I did too. DD1 went to her first drop off yesterday- it was a 6 year old party. I stood there awkwardly and the mom said "thanks for letting her come." I took that as my cue to leave and then she said enjoy your hour and a half! I did

HarrietNJMommy · September 2011

howleyshell:
So how do you communicate that it's drop off?
Do you say it in the invite?
Or just make it obvious when the parents arrive with the kids?

Some of the parents that I knew well, I told them when they RSVP'd. The others I told at the party.

I did make sure to get everyone's cell phone number if they were dropping off, just in case. You never know.

Angela814 · September 2011

Ours started with kids turning 5, so DD was still 4 at the party. One was a gymnastics party, and the other was bowling. The gymnastics had a class, and they told us we could either wait in the observation area or come and pick them up later. At the bowling party, the other mom just told us that we didn't have to stay unless we wanted to. She had some high school girls helping all the kids out. We had DD's 5th birthday party at an indoor play place. I think most parents asked if we wanted them to stay and seemed relieved that they could leave.

shouldbworkin · September 2011

Depends on where it is. Generally 5-6 is ok with me, but not at someone's house that I don't know and not as a super busy place or a place where it's easy to get lost (e.g. the mall) unless there's adequate coverage.

neverblushed · September 2011

I think it depends on whether the party is at the birthday kid's home or a public place. Generally by age 6, you can pretty much expect people to drop kids off for a party at someone's home. I continued to accompany my kids to parties in a public place until they were a little older. I'd say by the time she was 8, there was no question that DD was going to parties at pools, bounce places, and arcades by herself.

The first party where I dropped off DD was a 5th birthday party for a preschool friend when she was about 4 1/2. She had been to the child's house for a party the previous year and she'd been there for a playdate. The parents handled it really well. As kids arrived, they just told parents "we're fine if you want to just drop your kid off, but if you want to stay, or your child wants you to stay, that's okay too.

When I am the host mom, I try to make it clear to parents whether I expect them to stick around or not. Now that my kids are older, I never expect parents to stick around, but I would be fine if they wanted to.

shopgirl78 · September 2011

I didn't have any drop offs at DDs 5 year party but several at her 6 year. (It could have been the pool though for her 5 year and I invited mostly my friends and their kids and her friends-neighborhood). However, we went to a 7 year old pool party and there were drops off there.

eta: I have yet to drop mine of because I am neurotic. J/K at the last couple of parties DD has been two her brother was also there/invited and he was just turing 4 (and it was swimming!!)

JamieSF · September 2011

howleyshell:
So how do you communicate that it's drop off?
Do you say it in the invite?
Or just make it obvious when the parents arrive with the kids?

In one of her books, Miss Manners suggests putting both a start time and a "pickup time" on the invitation when you don't want the parents to stay.

Surfinbride · September 2011

In preschool, the parents stayed at all of the parties. By kindergarten, it depended on the party. The hostess would put something on the invite to indicate the plan. For instance, at a pottery place, it was worded that we were welcome to drop off our child and go shopping until the pick-up time. For gymnastics, trampoline and other semi-supervised parties, it was usually worded that the staff would lead the activity, but parents were welcome to stay. By second grade, parents were rare.

jlw2505 · October 2011

My older DD is in PreK and I was amazed last year at how many parents dropped off their 4 or 5 year old kids. I always stayed and will do so again this year (DD is 5). Around here I think Kindergarten is more the norm for drop off parties. I was amazed at how many parents dropped off at my DD's party this past summer.

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