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NBR: Another mom at daycare

Sarahbear621Sarahbear621
in November 2011 Moms

This so rubbed me the wrong way this morning.

 I typically drop off my 14 month old at daycare every morning and before I leave we sit on the floor together and play.  I tell him how much daddy and I love him and how we will miss him that day.  I tell him to be good for his teacher and we just do silly things.  Then I cover him in hugs and kisses and leave.  Well this morning another mom dropped off her son while I was there.  She literally opened the door, told the teacher that he was her problem now, dropped his stuff on the floor and walked out.  The little boy who was probably 15 or 16 months old walked to the door and just started to cry.  You can tell he just wanted his mom to hold him...he wasn't doing anything wrong.  The teacher came right over and comforted him and he was fine in a few minutes, but I just kept thinking what things could be like for him at home.  Some people should just not be allowed to have kids.  My DS frustrated the heck out of my sometimes but I would NEVER do that to him. His teacher made some indirect comments that the woman acted like this regularly so it was not a one time thing.  It just makes me so sad. 

EDIT: I get what everyone is saying about a quick drop off and how that is better for some people.  I don't think I made it quite clear from my first posting but this mother was actually mad at her child.  It was clear from her body language and facial expression that she was angry with him. 

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Re: NBR: Another mom at daycare

  • JanimalJanimal member

    Just playing devil's advocate here - for some kids, a quick dropoff is what they need.  Sticking around for a protracted good-bye would be harder on them. 

    Personally, I'm more like you, plus I also think it is important to chat a bit with teachers and know who they are. 

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  • Sarahbear621Sarahbear621
    imageJanimal:

    Just playing devil's advocate here - for some kids, a quick dropoff is what they need.  Sticking around for a protracted good-bye would be harder on them. 

    Personally, I'm more like you, plus I also think it is important to chat a bit with teachers and know who they are. 

    I get what you are saying, but she was definitely angry with her child.  It was clear from her body language and facial expression. 

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  • octoberwed2008octoberwed2008
     As a former preschool teacher I can totally agree that some kids need that quick drop off. There are some parents whose children have a hard time with them leaving them and the longer their parent stays the worse they get. Most kids who cry when their parents leave are just fine within minutes. What you are doing is wonderful and definately works for you and your child, but a lot of parents don't have it like that and their child would scream and cry no matter what they do when they leave and it would just prolong their crying. I know its really hard but try not to judge by the cover. You never know how that family handles things different from yours. But kudos to you for being a very involved and caring mother!
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  • RedCamaroRedCamaro member
    Agreed, kids can get on your nerves faster than anything at all the wrong times, but how aweful it is to say "he's your problem now"! If you had no idea that kids could be challenging at times, you don't need to be a parent. And if you can't handle it, maybe you should take some parenting classes. There's nothing with admitting you need help in order to raise your kid right. I never prolonged drop offs with my DD, but I always made sure we left each other in a happy medium (saying good-bye but not lingering about missing each other).
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  • littlewinnie15littlewinnie15

    That's pretty gross behavior. Even if the kid was being a pain that day, I'd think that'd be even more of a reason to stay for a second to talk to the teacher to say "he's been having trouble with XYZ this morning"... And, even if he needs a quick drop off, at least tell your child you love them.

    I don't understand how parents that behave like this are not completely and utterly embarrassed by themselves. 

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  • shanniebananieshanniebananie
    I'm going to agree with the other ladies. Not agreeing with how she behaved, as far as her apparent anger, but I do totally get how a stressful moment right before drop off can lead to what happened. It's very easy to say, "I'd never do that to my child." when you don't know what led up to the moment you're witnessing. 
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  • HollyBerry25HollyBerry25
    OP, I get what you meant.  That is sad and I hope it was the exception and not the rule.  I also get that you WILL get mad at your kid, but that really reminds me of my SIL and her 3 year old.  In a bad way.  Sounds just like her.  She actually sent her (just turned 3 year old)  daughter off to CA (we live in VA) to spend 3 MONTHS with "her father" (read: crackhead grandma, crackhead father, crackhead friends and family), and she KNEW they did drugs right in front of her daughter and God only knows what else.  I feel so sorry for her, she has ZERO stability.  :(  Makes me wonder if parents realize the affect their words and even what they don't say, body language and all, makes their child feel and how it will affect them later on.  :(
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  • Temp937723687505543Temp937723687505543 member

    I have never dropped DD off at daycare and declared her someone's "problem."  That being said...

    You have absolutely NO IDEA what her morning was like.  It's so easy to say "I would never do X" but until you have been there, you really don't know.  Chances are good that the mother left, calmed down, and felt horrible about the way she dropped her son off.  

    It's so easy to judge other mothers.  For anyone without kids, go hang out on the toddler boards and see how often we get exasperated or frustrated.  It's because we're human, not terrible mothers.  And comparing this woman to the mother who didn't care about her daughter spending 3 months with druggies seems a bit over the top.   

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  • JanimalJanimal member

    imageHollyBerry25:
    OP, I get what you meant.  That is sad and I hope it was the exception and not the rule.  I also get that you WILL get mad at your kid, but that really reminds me of my SIL and her 3 year old.  In a bad way.  Sounds just like her.  She actually sent her (just turned 3 year old)  daughter off to CA (we live in VA) to spend 3 MONTHS with "her father" (read: crackhead grandma, crackhead father, crackhead friends and family), and she KNEW they did drugs right in front of her daughter and God only knows what else.  I feel so sorry for her, she has ZERO stability.  :(  Makes me wonder if parents realize the affect their words and even what they don't say, body language and all, makes their child feel and how it will affect them later on.  :(

    Ummm....then why isn't someone calling CPS that these people are doing crack in the presence of a toddler?

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  • jnealetjnealet member

    I have the world's most agreeable child but there are days where I would gladly chuck her straight out the window.  I can' timagine what its like to have a willful or "spirited" child. 

    While I don't agree with what that mom said, I can understand her feelings.  Parents get angry at their children, its a fact of life.  And kids know how to push our buttons, they are experts.

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